Confused and tormented
My brain is tired from trying to figure out life.
Is Christianity real?
Is there a heaven or a hell?
Which one am I going to?
What is faith and why do I have to have it?
Can I ever stop worrying about doing something wrong?
Is God punishing me?
Maybe he's happy that I'm just trying to figure out my life?
Maybe he doesn't even care?
How do we even know or try to say what he's thinking? He's God!
Then there's the Bible: How's it different from the Koran, or any other book, and how do you know?
Is it wrong to marry someone who's not a Christian?
How will I tell my parents?
If Christianity is real and everything else is wrong -- how does a person even justify saying that?
How do we know what's real if there's no evidence?
There's faith again, but I don't get it -- why is it so necessary to invent something other than what's right in front of our faces?
Why do we need religion? If it causes so much confusion, I don't want it, but I don't want to go to hell!
Maybe it's a myth to scare people. Maybe it's real.
OMG, what if I go to hell!
Is this freaking healthy??
THIS is why I'm so confused, and so tired of Christianity. This was my life as a child and as a young adult, and I am so done with it.
And yet, it is always there in the back of my head, tormenting me.