sent in by J.H. Milivojevic if my mother loved me so much then why did she lie to me so much why did she try to make me believe in magic why did she try to make me believe in life after death why did try to make me believe that god hears me when I tell a lie why did she try to make me believe that we will all be together again after we die do you believe in magic have you ever believed in magic haven’t you always appreciated good sleight of hand haven’t you always appreciated a good demonstration of defiance of the laws of nature? a coin disappears into thin air a rabbit appears out of nowhere Jesus dies a horrible agonizing death – then comes back to life [god knows why…who would want to come back to such torture?] eventually my mother explained to me about the tooth fairy then later about santa claus but she has continued to hang on to the magic of jesus what a dirty joke now she’s old and scared because she suspects she really will be punished for all the really bad stuff she did du

sent in by Ken I began to have doubts about god, heaven and hell when I was in my early 20's. I met a liberal, critical thinker who presented ne w ideas to me at my first office job. He challenged some of the dogma and beliefs I had since childhood. His name was Larry. For a number of years I began to stay away from church and rarely attended. By the time I moved out from my parents house, I had altogether stopped going to church. I got a subscription to Playboy magazine. Along with the hot babes, I discovered that you could actually read the articles. Many of them were about George H.W. Bush, the Republicans, and Fundamentalist activities. I decided that I was a Liberal. I joined the ACLU. I stopped believing in god. Years later I discovered Skeptic magazine and Michael Shermer. The Biblical Flood story always peplexed me, and was the main reason I didn't believe the bible anymore. Skeptic re-inforced these doubts and led me to many other books skeptical and critica

sent in by Mike Cross post from "Breaking the Bad News.." I wish I'd run across this site about 4 months ago! My parents were involved in the Methodist church when I was young. I went through the confirmation thing and all, but to me it was just words and I never really bought into it. After I was about 13 - 14 we just stopped going to church. Nothing was said, just stopped. I think my parents became agnostic/athiest at that time, though they just recently made if very clear. I'm much older (42) and married to a YEC, BAC. My wife was a Baptist when we met and I, being blindly in lust and love, did the whole baptism, decleration of faith. I really wanted to believe.... However, since that time (about 17 years ago). I "drifted" too and from trying to be "religious". I had many objections and was never comfortable with religion. Something just seemed "wrong".... My wife, on the other hand, went the other direction and is full force fundy ev

by DH After wandering through Baptist, Pentecostal and Episcopal churches – on the way to a career as a minister – this man walks away from Christianity I have to smile each time I see one of those bumper stickers that says, “No Jesus, no peace; Know Jesus, know peace.” The premise behind this clever play on words is that the driver of that automobile has perfect peace because he/she has accepted Jesus as “personal savior” and people who have not, or those, like me, who once embraced Jesus but have subsequently rejected him, are crawling through life in turmoil, torment and indescribable unhappiness. As others have observed, most Christians find it unsettling to think that there are “former Christians,” people such as me who were completely converted, born again, filled with the spirit – people who had all this but, after sober reflection, walked away from it. We must be unhappy, they say. Perhaps we were not “genuine” Christians in the first place; had we been deceived by Satan? My ow

sent in by Todd This is my first time ever writing into a forum of this nature. Believe me, I never thought-just a few years ago-that I would ever question the faith that I have, essentially, been weened on. I'm in my mid 20's and for the first time I am, openly, challenging and becoming disillusioned with my religious beliefs. Grant it, I still believe in an omniscient supreme being. For personal reasons having faith does help me. However, I am not sure that I believe in the judeo Christian god anymore. The more I read, study, rationalize, and reason the more the religion of my youth(and ignorance)is slipping through my fingers. I guess a little bit about myself is in order. I grew was born and raised in Houston, Texas. As far back as I can remember I was in the Baptist church, every single Sunday. When I was a small child I used to think the gray haired minister shouting down from the pulpit was god. Anyway, as a child it just seemed the natural thing to do. Everyone was in c

sent in by Rob from the Netherlands I was born and raised in Suriname (South America). My father was an inactive Catholic who experimented with different kinds of spirituality (or so he told me) and my mother was Lutherian. I have one brother who I grew up with (I have 2 more half sisters and a half brother, but I wasn't raised with them). We grew up as Catholics, went to church every Sunday but at home we weren't very active w.r.t. religion. We also went to Catholic primary and secondary schools. While in primary school (up to the age of 11) I accepted the gospel like hook, line and sinker. Still, it was during this time that the first act which would drive me away from Christianity occurred. At age 10 (1972) I got myself a kids book about astronomy and space travel. The sheer beauty of the Universe got a hold on me then and never again left me to this day. I remember most fondly that that book described Halley's comet and that it would return in 1986. I promised myself I

sent in by John I grew up in a strick Catholic household. The pressures to live the Christian life are so powerful it's actually amazing that some of us come to the realization and reject it. I can remember times in my life where I was scared about going to hell. I remember feeling so alone during those times. I recall thinking, "I don't deserve to go to hell. What have I done to deserve it?" Getting past those emotions, the emotions that are central to the stability and survival of the church, I decided to actually study the stuff. When I really looked at the Bible objectively, it all made sense. The Bible is clever and deceiving to the average person. Christians are taught early on that the synopic gospels are simply 3 different perspectives. However, Time tables can overlap, historical figures can overlap, details and inconsistencies become hard to detect, and if you are looking to confirm your faith, those discrepencies will not appear. It's amazing

sent in by Joshua Some friends of mine have posted on this site and asked that I do the same. So, here is my story. I grew up in Kansas. Christianity and church were a big part of my life. From the time I was very young I enjoyed church, Sunday school, singing hymns, and reading my children's Bible. When I went to college, I immediately joined a Bible study group and had an instant group of close friends. I felt that the people around me were good honest and hard working people. Christians like me wanted nothing more than strong marriages, well behaved children, good neighborhoods and good schools. I never had any bad experiences or anything like that. Yes, there were scandals from time to time, sexual and otherwise, which we good church folk loved to gossip about but overall my experiences were good ones. After graduating I got a job in Los Angeles. I was a little nervous about leaving a Christian paradise to move to a sinful city but the offer was too good to refuse. The first th

sent in by Joey JoeJoe Shabadoo Well, it's been a long road and I imagine it will only get longer. All of this started when I was very young and as far back as I can remember my parents took me to the local Lutheran Church every Sunday (Missouri Synod - very traditional). The only way of not going was to be deathly ill. I don't remember ever being thrilled about going to church except to play with a couple kids that also went there. Going to church on Sunday morning was so ingrained into me that to not go just felt weird and strange. As I reached school age I was put into a private school that was pretty much run by Southern Baptists. So at that point religious instruction was an everyday thing (except on Saturday of course). My home life wasn't great but I have to say I miss those days (anyone remember Tom & Jerry cartoons, those were awesome, it was great to be young and innocent). When I reached the middle school years the religious stuff started gettin

sent in by Daniel M I was raised in a Southern Baptist church in the heart of the Bible belt--SW Virginia, Appalachian Mountains. At 12, I did what I had always been taught I ought to do, which was "repent of my sins and accept Jesus as my savior". I was a somewhat precocious child, though, and always skeptical of Noah's Ark, Creationism, and always curious why so many people were not Xians. During my early teenage years, I was a voracious reader, and mostly enjoyed non-Christian material--fiction and science. I was exposed, through my ever-growing library, to a world of ideas which challenged my worldview. At 16, I had already developed pretty deep doubts about god's existence and attributes. When my father got cancer (a devout Xian) I lost all faith in the idea of a personal god. Unfortunately, I was also quite immature and emotionally unstable, and I started using pretty hard drugs during this time of intense confusion and pain. To get "clean", a c