by Anonymous I was born into a very fundamentalist Pentecostal denomination. My dad became a minister before I was born, and is still one. I was a good child, but I was raised with the fear of the rapture - that if ever once I slipped up, even for just a second, Jesus would come and leave without me, and I'd be left all alone; then if I wanted to meet them in heaven, I'd have to "give my head" so I could be one of the martyrs and God would let me in heaven with my family. I was told their memories would be erased in heaven, so they couldn't be sad over the people they'd left behind. I spent my entire childhood in morbid fear, terrified that I'd die and go to hell & that I wasn't good enough for God, or Jesus. I wasn't allowed to have friends outside the church and wasn't allowed to go outside without a chaperone, even just in our yard, even when I got older. I was put into every church activity and asked daily if I'd read the Bib

by Kirsten I never expected to be a minister's daughter. Until I was in 10th grade, my father taught college music, something I found unbelievably cool. (It's what I hope to do eventually.) He seemed to be fairly liberal despite his Mennonite Brethren upbringing, and in retrospect he actually still is. Note: the MB conference does indeed allow electricity, cars, normal clothes, etc., and in most respects is just the typical fundamentalist church. Dad's final college job was a huge emotional strain, and so he decided to return to his roots, where he felt comfortable. When he found a job as minister of music at a large Atlantic Coast Conference Mennonite church in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania--quite possibly the most frighteningly conservative American locale outside of Texas--I think it was a bit like his finding the Holy Grail. Problem #1. As the socially awkward oldest child, I was just beginning to find myself, develop friendships, learn to flirt, fall in lov

by Balaji Singapore There was no reason for me to carry on being Christian, especially since it did not make sense. Good Friday 2000, I attended a service at Hope of God Singapore Church, invited by a friend. Till then I was a Hindu/Freethinker/Agnostic/Whathaveyou unconcerned about the existence of god. I always thought he existed but as some distant spirit like thingy. I liked the service and the Xian idea that god is a loving father, and the thought of him having to suffer and die for my sins was definitely a kind of emotional thing for me. I converted on the spot and began attending service. However I was a student of evolutionary biology (now I am doing my honours and an MBA) and I realised that evolution makes more sense than genesis, but I reconciled saying that well, genesis is probably just an allegory to show man's sinful nature and god directs evolution. However the church insisted on total adherence to every word of the bible, (note: I won't capitalise c

by Brad It all started with my aunty, a strong Christian. She gave me a bible, and I read it. Exactly, to the day, one year later, my oldest brother came to visit and he converted me while we were canoeing, him and his wife, and I said the prayer of faith. At the time my parents would occasionally drag me and my brother out to a Lutheran church and to be confirmed, but none of us wanted to be there, it was a grave yard, not a church. I very quickly became an outgoing evangelist, to all of my friends at school, everywhere. When I went to university, I was even more outgoing, just plain annoying already. I made strong Christian friends, I joined Christian groups, I found a Lutheran church, and I did it all. After that year, I returned home, that’s when I began studying the bible, to support all of the claims I was making at university. The following year at university, I left the Lutheran church for the Baptists. I also became interested in Calvinism, and God led me to become a Ca

by William F. Henness I was "born again", when I was 20, in an Assembly of God church. I attended there for 7 years (all services). Then I joined a fundamental Baptist church in my home town and there I was licenced to preach. I taught adult S.S. classes and was a deacon for over 25 years. I pastored a Baptist church for over 2 years and filled pulpits in my home church and many others for some 27 years. I held services in nersing homes, had a tent meeting, etc. In my Bible studying I slowly discovered errors, contradictions and false prophecies over several years. Now, I am free from religion. I have written several books on the subject and have much that I can send anyone who askes for it at wildbillh@winco.net I Became a Christian at age 20 I Ceased being a Chrisitan at about 60 I am from Colchester IL, USA My past label was Baptist preacher and teacher. My label now is Apostate. Why I Joined Christianity? Childishness Why I Left? Because of errors and contr

Hello. My name is Jamie Atkinson. I have had a couple of people ask me to give my testimony about how I went from being a licensed minister of the Southern Baptist Convention to being an atheist. So I am going to write it all out for you. Starting with my upbringing, I was raised in a very conservative Christian home. Both of my parents were devote believers in Jesus and God. We attended a Nazarene church until I was about 10 years old then switched to a Baptist church. The switch was due primarily because the Baptist church was closer to our home. I had been studying the Bible for as long as I can remember. I wanted to know everything there was to know about what I believed. I took to heart what the apostle Paul said, “Be ready to give a reason for the hope that is in you”. By the time I got into high school, I had become quite a good religious debater. I had studied Mormonism and Jehovah’s Witness beliefs. I could make them all run home to their mothers. I knew the answers t

by Robert Hitchcock I am and have always been an ecclesiastical mutt. My parents were middle of the road Southern and American{Yankee Baptist} when they married in 1960 and I was "Dedicated to the Lord",{a "dry" infant Baptism} in a General Baptist Church when I was born in 1961. My father was in the Air Force {Yeah, OURS!!} at the time of my birth and I cost him a whole whopping $9.60 cents in delivery costs at the Base Hospital. As I grew, Dad would pull out the bill for my birth and bemoan the "fact" I had initially been such a "low" cost investment, but with the broken arms, glasses, ear surgeries for swimmer's ear, I ended up being a high maintenance item. I know the old boy meant it mostly in jest, but then again this was a guy whose idea of a family dinner out was the Golden Arches. In the end his "cheapness was exposes for all to see when my three siblings and I were forced to share one small fry and a medium coke between the

by Tim Simmons One Tuesday night in May of 1988, I heard a knock on my apartment door. I was married at the time and my wife was at work. I opened the door. Two men from the local Baptist church were out witnessing door to door and asked if they could come in for a few minutes. I said sure. I didn’t know at the time, but they were following a gospel presentation outline that they had learned from Evangelism Explosion, a sales tactic devised by James Kennedy, then pastor of the Coral Ridge Baptist Church in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. I invited them in and we all sat down in the living room. After a few minutes of leisurely conversation, they eased their way into the gospel presentation and slowly tried to ascertain my eternal disposition by asking me the two diagnostic questions. “Tim, have you come to the place in your spiritual life where you know for certain that if you were to die today you would go to heaven?” one of them asked. I wasn’t sure. He then proceeded

My Christian saga began at birth with a blessing from my father that I would never leave the church. My family spent many hours every week in an old time Holiness congregation. The women wore no make-up, pants, shorts, bathing suits, did not cut their hair even for a trim, and were required to have on a out of style dress, girdle, slip, pantyhose, bra even on the hottest day. The men always looked GQ. There were many other such restrictions about sex and the body. My mother finally quit the church and my Dad did as well. At about 10 I started attending the Baptist church across the street from our home because all my friends went there and we had a great time at GA's and Sunday School. At 13 all my friends and I went to a revival where I got saved because the visiting preacher scared the holy shit out of me with his hell fire and brimstone message, and I did not want to burn in eternal damnation for all eternity for my sins. What my sins were, exactly, I could not have told you,

by Anthony Westchester, Illinois USA I couldn't take all the greed and general unholiness that I saw in Christian churches! How did my encounter with Christianity begin? Well, "against my will" might be a good way of phrasing it. I was baptized in Mexico when I was born. A couple years after that, I attended school at various Christian or variant of Christian schools (Pre-school was Lutheran, 3 years of Catholic grade school, etc). However, the event that made me turn away from Christianity completely occurred when I was attending a public school, oddly enough. One of my friends was a member of the congregation at a church in the town called the Westchester Bible Church, and he was as religious as could be. I should have known there were problems when I was over at his house one day and I said "Oh god" while we were doing something and he told me that I shouldn't do that because it's taking the name of the lord in vain. "What?" I th

Dave - You had asked about my conversion/deconversion experience. I replied with a very long email and for some reason it had no text once it made it to the group. Perhaps it was over the limit or something. I'll split this one into two parts. FYI - Feel free to copy and post this anywhere, under the condition that you don't use my name - since many people close to me only know the first part of this story. My parents divorced when I was 4. I was the oldest of 3 kids. My mother had custody and basically took us to church whenever she dated a guy who went. My dad's dad died when I was 10. It shook him up and so he and my stepmother started taking us to a boring old Presbyterian church in Kentucky. I got pretty involved, but it never "clicked" like it would later. We went regularly, but we missed several times a year, if we had something else to do on a Sunday morning. Once I got to be 15, they said it was up to me whether or not I went. I did go

By Diane I began to listen to what I knew inside instead of what the authorities told me I should know. My experience with Christianity started when I was very young, perhaps five or six years old. My father made the decision to attend a Reformed Baptist church. He came from a Catholic background, and had been turned off of religion for quite a long time. I think this new church attracted him because the pastor was a stern authoritarian, and the pattern of sitting under him and, in turn, transferring the anger, sternness, and rules to his family appealed to his nature. The strongest memory I have of this church was sitting in the pews in extreme terror because the pastor often shouted during sermons. Such fury was overwhelming to my shy, sensitive psyche. The bullying had begun. When I was eight, we moved and started attended a church that felt the need to continually entertain us and provide us with incentives to keep coming such as contests and special events. Even amongst

by Amanda I was "saved" when I was seven years old. My mother was always a very religious woman, and like most people who are converted, she was going through a bad time in her life. She grabbed fundamentalist Christianity with both hands and held on for dear life. I spent the first 5 years of my life "on fire for God," as they say in the church. But as I grew into an adolescent girl, I began to resent the way the church had mapped out my future as a woman- don't worry about education, darling, you've got cookies to bake. I wistfully looked out the window at the boys youth group, wrestling, playing basketball, etc., while I was stuck inside, being taught how to deny my feelings and wants. When I was 12, it was discovered that the very married Pastor of our church had sexually abused at least 5 women over a period of years. With all the women, it had taken place during counseling, when each one of the women was in a devastating po

By Cynthia After having to really explain my beliefs for the first time, I was shocked to find myself thinking, I believe THAT? My grandmother had been a fundamentalist since a conversion experience in her early twenties (before which she claimed to have drunk and "cussed like a sailor"-which I could never quite bring myself to believe). She always claimed that she "loved children," while being completely heartless and unloving with me; but I think she would have been a cruel person with or without her religious beliefs. Somehow, my mother had grown up to be a loving, kind, compassionate and open-minded individual in spite of her own mother's influence. My father was never a Christian, but he saw no reason to make an issue of his lack of belief, even though my grandmother felt the need to try to evangelize him-and absolutely every stranger she met-at every possible opportunity. Fortunately for me, he got a job in Southeast Asia and my family lived in

By Ian J. Carr If I may paraphrase a famous Christian: Free at last, thank God I'm free at last! I am a former Christian, early 40's, a previous true believer who worshipped mainly in Fundamentalist circles (though never able to tackle hard-line evangelist doctrine with any enthusiasm.) My journey to freethought has taken five years, and I would now describe myself as an "open" nontheist. That is, I am happy to describe the human being as "spiritual", while realising that this impetus is a phenomenon manufactured within the psyche or society, and not imposed by an external God (especially not the white-bearded guy looking down from the clouds!) And I am willing to accept the positive, beautiful and poetic elements of any faith while resisting any attempts by organized religion to impose their dogmas on our (thankfully) secular society. My personal consolations are now the music of Bach, Mozart and Grainger, the poetry of Housman and Wilfred Owen,