sent in by BornAgainCelt I'm hoping to get some feedback here, as I really don't know where else to go with my questions. No one knows my thoughts right now & if they did, they'd REALLY be stunned. I've been a high profile in my church for over 30 years - Bible study teacher, church musician, even missionary. But I've had questions well up in me for many years that I've ignored until now. I'm a musician & while doing graduate work, I fell in love with the music of the Middle Ages, which began a 30 year fascination for anything Medieval, particularly church history. Ohhhh, boy. What I've read, I've just kept to myself. Don't want to rock the boat. Especially when being a church music director has put food on the table for the family. I'd see pettiness and judgement in Xtians, but turned the other way. I've finally realized that I've turned the other cheek so many times that I've been going in cir

sent in by David I have been posting in the forum under davety227 for about a month and now feel comfortable to post my testimony. I was baptised as an infant into the Roman Catholic church at the request of my parents. My parents are not overly religious or fanatical in any way, I believe they did it out of tradition more than anything. I then attended a catholic elementary from age six until age fourteen. Although the priests and nuns who taught at this school were very nice, I never really bought into the bible and the concept of Jesus as my savior. I did want to believe, so I tried not to entertain the thought for very long. It wasn't the Christian faith that left a lasting impression on me, it was their views on homosexuals. You see, I am gay. I grew up believing it is wrong to be gay, a belief I struggled with all through my teenage years. Like the title says, a smooth transition, but that was only for leaving the faith. I was never a relig

sent in by Jason "In order to be sure that you are a good person, so that you don't go to hell when you die, you have to pray to Jesus and ask him to live in your heart, okay son?" "Okay, Mommy. Dear Jesus...." That was the moment when my little mind began to develop its worldview around the tension wrought pillars of supernatural dualism. For the next 25 years I would be caught in an escalating mental war with myself. Every event and circumstance would ultimately be subconsciously filed under either "Because of God", or, "Because of Satan". I learned to be suspicious of every little thing that entered my thoughts. My DEPENDANCE on God for taking care of me, guiding me in decisions, and protecting me from evil grew, while my FEAR of "Satan", evil, being misled by evil forces, and hell, also grew. A couple years later, my aunt and uncle, being concerned for my lack of indoctrination under my liberally t

sent in by Evers It makes me sick that I did not find out the truth earlier in my life. Religion is truely a self made prison used to control the masses with fear and greed. I credit the Bush President 43, and Jerry Foulwell with helping me see reality. To the most powerful office in hostory sucking up to a divine power for control of the earth seemed like Hitler to me. I read The "Age Of Reasoning" by Thomas Paine. It was written in the 17 hundreds and the lights came on. There may be a divine power but not the demonic being of revenge who's Bible hates gays, but is OK with owning slaves; children can be stoned for being disrespectful and women have no power at all. I love people now because I care not out of fear of eternal damnation. God, if he exists could not have less love for those who read this than me, but I love you because you are a fellow human being and I don't need to know you or have you kiss up to me to be accepted. Religion will be the dest

sent in by Sean i was born into a "christian" family. every sunday we would go to church and my father would be the pillar of society. then when we got home he would be the violent bully i know and love. i loved going to church as a child. the pastor i had was a wonderfull loving man. and i enjoyed hearing about this loving god who loved me and wanted to be with me. i suppose i wanted god because my father was so far from the father image i would hear others talk about. he was gone most of my childhood drivin truck (it was sad for me but i also understood he had to put money on the table.)... and when he was home he put me through hell. and speaking of hell... one of his favoret sayings was "oh piss on it, we're all going to hell anyway". it was probably my father's constant putdowns and violence towards me that later on in years i would identify more with the "devil" when i read the bible. my mother would send me to vacation bible

sent in by Rachelle I don't know how many Star Trek fans are out there, but I have always enjoyed the analogy of Christianity to the Borg. They are an alien race in the series that seeks out lifeforms in order to incorporate them into thier group, in an attempt to void the universe of individuality. They encounter a new civilization, capture them and "assimilate them into thier collective". Nothing in my mind could describe chrisitans better, as they too seek to rid the world of personal freedoms. It seems strange to me that the supposed creator of my mind would try so hard to keep me from using it. My personal testimony is as simple as one a christian might give you. Once i was lost, and now i am found, was blind, but now see the light. In fact, I may not be much different than the eight year old girl who accepted christ as my personal savior all those years ago. Except i actually feel like i had something to do with it this time. As an adult I wa

sent in by Chris There I was, toting my bible around, believing with all my heart it was true. How could it not be true? The whole universe had to have a plan; I had to have a plan. Someone loved all of us enough to create this all for us. This someone was God. The one who loved us so much to send his only son to die for our sins so that we may someday join him in heaven. I was ready to preach about his love, maybe even someday pursue a career in His field. PRAISE JESUS! Then it happened. I felt evil; I could never be good enough for God. Masturbation weighed on my life, indebting me in sin forever, corrupting my very soul. My body changed as did my way of thinking. I wanted to have fun, to join in normal teenager things. I enjoyed the "devil's music" and began to like "worldly" things. The church looked down on my actions, looked down at me for listening to non-gospel music and for loving the color black. I felt guilty, that no matter

sent in by John E. Denison When I was hired at my current job I didn't know it but I was moving towards leaving Christianity. I met my employer at a Christian 12 step meeting where I was the featured speaker. He liked what I had to say so he hired me because he wanted to hire ex-offenders but he wanted someone that could help him with this endeavor. Three years ago I was diagnosed with a rare blood malignancy, the medication made me sick but I could still work. I talked to him and he said as long as I could come in he would find something for me to do. Several times I approached him about my job performance and he said as long as I can break even (I sell and service fire extinguishers) he was ok with it. He said at another time he didn't expect me to keep up with other people he expected me to give him 100% of what I could. I quit going to church 3 and a half years ago it has been a thorn in his side but you can't fire a guy for not going to churc

sent in by Apollo I was “saved” in October of 1981, shortly after the birth of our first child. Stuck with it for almost 23 years as a “Reformed”-Calvinist-postmillennianl “Christian Reconstructionist,” and renounced Christianity in February of 2004. Noticed references to Gary North and RJ Rushdoony (“Today’s Christians”), the “patron saints” of Reconstructionism. Are you aware that Gary North is RJ’s son-in-law, and that a bitter falling-out remained unreconciled at the time of RJ’s death? Reconstructionism is possibly the most dangerous form of “practical Christianity” on the planet. Recons believe that Christ will not return until Christians have taken dominion of the world and Christ’s “enemies” have been destroyed, enemies being all non-Christians. At the local branch of this cult I attended, the kingdom was being built one acre at a time, with “dominion” defined as the acquisition of wealth and property. “Dangerous books” saved me from Christianity and the cult

sent in by Rustifer I'll never forget that night at a Southern Baptist Revival. The preacher, a travelling evangeslist said "Do you want to see your daddy again after you die? Come on down the aisle, find Jesus, and enjoy eternal life away from hell, where there is wheeping, sorrow, and fire." I was 12, just a kid, and from that point on, I was scared of death and the God who created it. I didn't go down the aisle that night. I was crying too hard. And the next 3 years was spent trying to get up the nerve to walk down the aisle at a revival to get saved from hell. The revivals only came around twice a year so if I missed one or chickened out, I lived in fear of life and death until the next revival. Finally, I went down the aisle and was crying too hard to say any prayer "confessing Jesus as Savior". Eventually, a preacher helped me settle the question with a prayer. However, what if I lost this salvation? After all, I

sent in by Melissa There is a reason why the 3 biggest institutions in the world are, and have always been, the Government, the Churches and the Banks, it is simple: For power and control over the people. Initmidation and fear support their power and control. This is done, by keeping people divided up, rich from poor, sinner from saint. I survived the insanity of Christianity. After 12 years of having a haunted mind and chasing this perfect picture of some dream concocted up by some insane wanna-be ruler some 2,500 or so years ago..., then I woke up. So many years spent being jugded, measuring up, fitting in, feeling fake, and pretending to believe, we're years just spent, not lived. I realized then that the "ME" on the inside, did not match the outside person I portrayed. The lover of science and nature, peace and happiness, and brotherhood of man. I do accept all humans regardless of their gender, race, color, sexuality, as far as the creed, let&

sent in by Chris My journey to Humanist started when I was about 17.At the time I was a member of the local Christian Youth group.heck I was what you would call saved!!!! Then one day I started reading some of Richard Dawkins work and I went to my Pastor and asked him a few questions about what I had read. Well my Pastor automaticaly told me it was lies and only God knows the truth. I was like huh!!!!! I asked the Pastor about certain verses in the bible like the one in Leviticus where it says not to eat shellfish, or where it says to stone a family member that gets a divorce. I just started Asking alot of questions and really reading the bible until my Pastor told me I could not go to Youth group anymore, which kind of sucked these were my christian friends but as soon as I started asking tough questions they kicked me out. You know Christians do not read thier own Holy book. Honestly They bitch about Homosexuals and they disobey Gods laws about eating sh

sent in by Matt Scheeren For as long as I can remember, I was a Christian. Born and raised as the perfect little kid who never did anything wrong. In truth, I was like that due to the fear of the so-called Christian "hell", that we talked about every single day in Sunday School. The mantra "Fear is the best control" really rings a bell with my situation, because as I grew older I started questioning different things that I was being taught. It started out with the "Eternal Sin", which I was absolutely convinced that I had committed somehow, and worrying day and night about not being able to spend eternity with the Christian "God". Then came the other questions like 1) Why can't I question any of this publically without being labeled blasphemous ? 2) If God loves us all like they say he does, than why do some people go to hell ? 3) There's about 7 billion people in the world, about 1 billion Christian, am I supp

sent in by Crystal I wander about in the world I'm a stranger to, a world I know nothing about. I question everything from the beginning to the end, I have no idea what came before me or what will come after me. I have garbled memories in the far distances of my mind, of things I should believe, I just don't remember what they are anymore, I can't decipher them. Did I know at one time what path I should take? Was there a place and a time in my life when things made sense, when I knew who I was? You sit and you judge me, slandering my choices, perhaps my beliefs, not knowing what makes one choose the path they take or the decisions they make. The one thing I know is that your condemnation can only be traced back to yourselves. You gave me no foundation to live by other than an unrealistic fantasy that borders on perfection, which is impossible to achieve. You sheltered me from reality and then thrust me into it, expecting me to survive. How can I

sent in by J. Grant I was brought into a Christian denomination because my family was poor. We were 4 kids, divorced mother, living on welfare, and lemme tell ya - that scenario is no treat, no matter what a lot of people think. We often didn't have food, and we lived at a level of poverty most people wouldn't believe still exists in America. I was a believer. The church offered us food and clothing, got us into a better house, and baptised us. I was raised thinking Jesus and God and the Holy Ghost were all as real as the chair I'm sitting on now. I lived righteously, never smoked, never listened to "evil music", and a slipped word of profanity sent me running for a prayer. I wanted to live right, and go to heaven. Looking back, it's hard to believe I was ever that kid. When I was 15, I had my first real girlfriend. We'd been dating for 8 months when she was raped out in the woods. We'd never had sex. She lived with only min

sent in by Danny Haszard I'm Danny Haszard from Bangor Maine usa. Former member of the Jehovah's witnesses.Exited out 1-5-92 was in for 33 years. I was 3rd generation, so they still are holding most of my family hostage. The Watchtower swindled most of my family assets, left me desitute at first but i have recovered much. The worst thing that high demand destructive Bible based cults do to their victims is they 'soul rape' you so you become angry at God. It's been called."surrogate displacement" rage. You become 'mad at the world' and it takes a long time to recover, God is good and gracious and i am stronger for it. I have a counter-cult home page please visit and browse.I am determined to provide education and support to warn others of these,'wolves in sheep's clothing'. peace, http://www.DannyHaszard.com URL: http://www.DannyHaszard.com City: Bangor State:

sent in by Allison Korte In brief, I was born into a Catholic family. I was baptized before I knew how to talk, let alone decide my faith. When I was three, my parents divorced and I was landed with my mother, who was a devout but non-practicing Catholic. What I mean by that is, she never attended church and knew anything about Christianity, but her faith was never questioned when it came to Jesus. When I turned 8 or 9, I decided I wanted to live with my father. A few years later, my father and I moved to San Antonio, Texas to live with my grandparents. Now my grandparents were even more Catholic than my mom. They went to church EVERY MORNING and they made me go on Sundays. At first, I had a problem with the waking up early part, but then I sort of started liking the mass. But one part I never really did understand was why my father never went to church with us. He got to stay home on Sundays and watch football. A few road trips to California later, I started asking h

sent in by Joel Atkinson To sum it up...I got saved in a small country Pentecostal church when I was 14. Before long it was my entire life, leading me into ministry in the form of preaching, teaching, evangelism, counseling, general church work, visiting people, you name it. i first began to preach when i was about 17. I read the bible almost exclusively, only adding to it Christian inspirational books, articles, sermons, whatever. I loved and listened exclusively to Christian music. I prayed daily and often for hours at a time in my room. loved to worship the lord in singing and physical acts of worship (bowing, dancing, raising hands). I was awarded and praised everywhere among fellow Christians for my faith, even receiving denomination awards such as Mr. Texas for the Church of God one year, super camper awards and so on. I wanted to win the world and I fervently wept for the sinners of the world on many occasions. So what happened? I was never saved, so

sent in by Dena - aka, Heathenmom Hi. I've been posting here for a couple of months now and thought I should add my story. I went to church weekly while growing up. My mother was not especially religious, but would send my brother and I to Sunday School every week. My father was an abusive, alcoholic who only became religious when he'd preach at us while sloppy drunk. I tell you all of this, so that you know why I ended up falling so hard for all of the things I heard at church -- I desperately needed something and I found it in the Baptist Church. One summer, after going to church for a few years, I went with our youth group to camp where I was 'born again' and was baptized into the church the following week. I felt amazing. I began reading my Bible day and night and learning all that I could. Sure, there were parts of the Bible that didn't make sense to me, but I figured God would clarify these things for me in his own time. I started going to church

sent in by Ellie Nonner I was 16 years old when one of my best friends confronted me about finding something that would change my life. She knew that I battled with depression ever since I was a young child. She professed a religion, a commitment, a relationship that would change my life for the better. She believed that her god would provide a complete healing, that I would finally know the peace I so desperately longed for. In the middle of the courtyard at my high school, a scared 16 year old girl broke down and tears and believed that she had finally found an answer to her problems. Belonging to a church gave me instant friends. I was the teenage girl that had done everything most of the others hadn't...I had overcome a drug problem, I loved to party, I could even give sex advice to the other girls that were too scared to ask their parents and had no other friends that new anything about the subject. I was looked up to because I had made the decision f