sent in by Deamond I've been reading the book Nineteen eighty-Four by George Orwell. (it's interesting to read a sci-fi novel about a Distopian future that happened when I was three yeqars old.) I think in many ways the book could be seen as an Atheistic aligory. Big Brother's face exists everywhere. He sees all, he knows all, he can almost read minds, he is all-powerfull, his enemies are tortured and are then erased ("vapourised" is the word used in the book) from all exiswtence including past existence. They never existed. Big Brother can even change the past. And does, all the time. Yet, most likely, Big brother himself probably doesn't exist, I think he's probably just a cartoon character, like Uncle Sam, used to represent the Inner Party. I can see elements of myself in both Wynston and Julia. Like Wynston smith, I have always questioned everything, I have a keen sense of bullshit, and am mystified by the stupidity of the

sent in by Laura I was born in a strict Catholic family and to a father that still attends church regularly and a mother that is atheist. So ofcoarse they HAD to have me baptized to clean off the original sin so I wouldn't burn in hell! My brother and I had to go to Sunday school weekly and when I was eight I made my First Communion. I was fed the typical lies that the church teaches you like that Eve was born from Adam's rib or Jesus rose from his grave after being dead for 3 days. For a very short time I actually believed it, then it just didn't make sense to me anymore. So when I was 13 I became pretty much atheist and skipped Sunday school . About a year later when I was 14 and my brother had just made his confirmation and it came to that time for me. Luckliy my parents decided to let me decide whether to make my confirmation or not. Ofcoarse I said no and finished my last year of Sunday school, never to return to church again. I was sick

sent in by Bill Baker I remember that glorious day! Enshrouded by nothing but darkness, shoved about by powerful forces unseen! I lifted my head from the blackness towards the blinding light; gasping for air, i tried to cry. Suddenly,as from nowhere a firm,but gentle,huge hand connected with me. With that I uttered "waahhh,waahhh"!!! No, that was not my Christian rebirth story. That was the story of the day I was born. Actually, I don't remember the day I was born; I hardly remember this morning! However, it seemed like a humorous intro. So, four score and seven years ago...er,I mean 25 years ago, I was brought forth into this shithole of brainwashing. I was raised as a Christian by my mother-may she rest in peace. She took me and my sister to a Pentecostal church till I was about 5-6 years of age{something like that}. Around this time my female Sunday school teacher grabbed me and slammed me against a wall for talking in class. As a result, my m

sent in by Bill I tried to tell my story, but it was taking way too long, and being a nihilist, I simply don't care enough to write that long. I do,however, care enough to rant for a minute or two. I was born a christian. I was a sheep until the age of 22. I started to think, (the process of obtaining a graduate degree helped.) I started to question religion and found way too many contradictions as well as violence, obsenity, and just plain bullshit, that held little to no value for modern life. I could no longer suppress my nihilistic tendencies. I found that I simply did not give a shit enough about anything for it to hold that much value. Here is how I feel now: This is a meaningless existence and of no long-term value. Our seperate lives may be of value only to ourselves and it is only the value WE place upon our lives. Because I feel there is not enough proof to either support or deny the existence of a supernatural being, I am agnosti

sent in by Charles There was a time when I wasn’t sure of what I believed or who I was, that time is now over. The twisting ride has ended and has taught me a few things about the church and people, which I want to share with you. Many of the world’s problems are wrapped in ignorance and a hunger for power and control. At every turn and corner of the world, people are suppressed and manipulated. Although not applying to all men, it is the common thread throughout this world that needs mentioning. Bias is everywhere and bondage is just another sermon sold in many folds of religious propaganda. Well meaning tyrants smile and seek your love while they promise security and hope, felling to deliver either, whether being sincerely wrong or having that knowledge and purpose for that very end. We receive neither love, nor hope, but a loss of freedom to think for our selves and a fear to live apart from our spiritual aggressors or government. Manipulation and fear raise

By Caroline Singer This is a story of how I am finally able to shed the last of the xian brainwashing that was inflicted on me as a child. It's long, it rambles, and it's almost 3000 words. But it helps me to write it, and I hope that some of you will have the patience to read it. Any words of encouragement from a fellow nonbeliever will be welcome. From as far back as I can remember, I was taken to sunday school and then church by my mother. My mother was not especially religious herself -- I think she brought me there because it was the "right" thing to do and to give me something of a social life. My church was Northern Baptist, more or less the same vanilla Xian of all the other Protestant churches around -- the Methodists, the Congregationalists, and so on. Our town was maybe 3/4 Protestant and 1/4 Catholic. As far as I knew, my church was "Protestantism Lite." The emphasis was on living a good life. The mystical stuff was there, but I do

sent in by Alan Koch I’ve been putting this testimony – or rather “de” testimony off for sometime now. Ever since first coming across this site and dwelling into the numerous stories of de-conversion, I have pondered whether I would share my own. Keep it to myself, or share it? I do sincerely believe that this is a matter I should share as to get it off my chest. And also, for the additional purpose of motivating any others who are or would desire a break from Christianity. I do suppose it started in late summer 2000 – the summer after my sophomore year and before my junior. Perhaps I was chosen by God (highly unlikely), but for some reason I became interested in the Christian faith. I believed that Jesus Christ was the son of God; that He died for the sins of mankind; that He was resurrected from the dead; that He was born of a virgin birth; and finally, that I needed to call Him into my heart so I could be forgiven, and be able to go to heaven. Around

sent in by Eddie Hello fellow freethinkers: My story starts when I first attended a church in San Dimas in 2000. Liked the group, the singing, the atmosphere. But I always afraid I wouldn't "fit in". The people at the San Dimas church has been kind and friendly (not pushy) to me. My troubles began when I joined a youth group at a make-shift church in Pomona. Why did I want to go through this? I thought a deity (God) would enrich and enlighten me. Maybe it is the lure of instant gratification after seeing people (supposedly) have problem-free lives because of Jesus. After all, the Bible told stories how people were magically cured by Jesus. I was looking for the magic. At this point I already beat a bout of depression and I was tired of thinking that God was just an angry one. Going to the Pomona church was a mistake. First of all, the weekly prayer of the youth group was "We are not worthy of God's love". How depressing is that? Not

sent in by Brett Keane The first time I questioned the faith was when my grandmother shrivaled up in front of me for 6 month’s due to cancer. I was 13 & my mother & father was getting a divorce. My father told me i should have been aborted. I prayed to God but nothing fails like prayers. I continued going to church mostly because i felt i could help people with food. My desire was to help people in need. I was put out of a church because i argued with the preacher about giving food to a woman with 5 kids. He said she had been in 3 weeks ago & policy was people had to wait a month before returning. I ask him if this was god’s policy. He told me to get the hell out! My best friend tried to convince me to stay in the faith but 2 month’s later he was hit by a drunk driver. He was killed leaving behind a wife who was pregnant. He never seen his child. The love of god is so great. I started writing books,designing websites,& music. 3 years ago my mother was