religious experience true or in my mind?

sent in by richie

My name is Richie, Ive been raised mostly in a penticostal envirenment, up until a few years ago. I have been reading stories on this site for about 3 years, and I have to tell you that I appreciate all of you for telling your stories. Leaving christianity has been a long hard road, sometimes I feel like I am going insane.

I am going to give a full version of my leaving the faith at a later date. I do however have some real important questions for the viewing audience, maybe those that have had some of the same experiences that I have had inside the world of christianity and the church.

First off, I no longer believe in the bible, but I have had some personal experiences that keeps me from totally escaping from religion, and being at peace with myself.
Ive been in church services where people are talking in tounges, falling down, acting totally crazy.

On the issue of tongues, I have heard hundreds of people talking "bable" I usually rolled my eyes, Ive seen people "slain in the spirit", or being "drunk in the spirit". And most of the time I think it is a bunch of bullshit. For most of them this is a comon experience every sunday night, God doesnt seem very powerful on sunday mornings. (joke).

I guess I will get to the point, I have done all these things described above, but they where not comon experiences, there may have been 6 times at the most in the 37 years of being a christian that I thought I was experiencing something bigger than myself. One time, I was praying and I really did fall under some spell, I asked God, If you are real then knock me down, he did, or my own mind made me fall.
(this was a real eyes rolled back into my head experience, complete with "rapid eye movement" some of you will know what I mean.

I was at a revival meeting (bullshit meeting) a few years ago. Right before I left the church for good, this young evangelical preacher was asking the congergation to meditate on god, I did what he asked, just like a million times before in any church service, but this time was different.

I closed my eyes and prayed, just like the thousand times before. But this time was different, my eyes seemed to roll up into what I now understand to be the third eye. After doing this for maybe a half hour or so, I opened my eyes, "shit" I was as high as a kite! I have smoked mj before but It felt like I had just smoked a big fat joint.

Soon after that I left the church, something had snaped in me after that night, I went home and like a machine, I grabed all my christian music, bibles, anything to do with christianity and stuffed it in the garbage can. It felt so good to do, after that day I have been a free thinker, a free spirit, it feels so right.

I have dabbled into everything I can get my hands on, but what remainds is................"WHAT DO THOSE EXPERIENCES MEAN".

If you are curious to what ive been reading or watching to find answers, one fine mind is Huston Smith, he is a religion professor at MIT, or Berkly, I cant remember exactly. He has a set of 5 dvd's on religion with Bill Moyers (PBS) you can check out at the library, or buy online....that series has helped me to be opened minded about things.....

Finally, I did graduate from college if you are wondering, Ive had a few beers tonight watching the DAYTONA 500, spelling and gramer are out the window. I do however honor you people that have the guts to speak out...tell about your lives and are searching for the matter what that truth or reality is.

Love Richie!!!!!!

City: rapid city
State: sd
Country: us
Became a Christian: born into heavy penticostal, family became more liberal in time.
Ceased being a Christian: 33
Labels before: penticostal, charismatic, assemblies, fundimental etc.
Labels now: varies from diest, agnostic, athiest .
Why I joined: its the only thing ive ever known.
Why I left: started investigating the bible, evolution, geology, anthropolgoy
Email Address: bcp7777 at yahoo dot com

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