True Happiness depends on Yourself

sent in by Moses Kim

I was born a christian and went to church as long as I can remember and I still go to church, not because that I still have faith but because I don't want to cause trouble. Until my mid-twenties, I didn't have any feelings against christianity and there was time I participated in a lot of church activities. I really didn't think deeply about religion and didn't read much of the bible. The only bible story I knew was from church.

Then as I got older and became independent from my parents, I started to attend various other church. That time, I realized that many people had different ways of believing, according to which church they go. I started having conversation with them and became more open minded. Their way a belief had their own logic and seemed nice. I came to think that their is no absolute right way of believing god. However, what was disappointing is that most of strong believers claimed that their way is the 'right' way and others are wrong.

First, it was frustrating. After some thinking and some reading, I came to think that it is natural for humans to think that way. People are egocentric. They think that the religion their grew up with is right. This seemed pretty frustrating.

I thought to myself, 'Why can't people respect and try to understand other religion?'. The more I read the bible and the more I find out what is christanity is about, the more I lost faith in it.

Then something happened that really disappointed me. I had a female friend in church and she had a boyfriend but did not attend church. The elders in the church did not like that. So they 'brainwashed' her. Saying things like, 'God will be not happy if you keeping meeting him','I know it will be painful in the beginning, but god will show real happiness later on', etc. Eventually she broke up and married a real devoted man in church. He was about 15 years older than her. I saw that this thing happens alot in church.

After that I realised that all this was BS. I wanted to show them what they do does not make sense. That they are wasting time by praying. That they are wasting money by giving the church tithe. But to do that, I needed to have alot of knowledge about the bible and origins of christanity.

I really read alot of books religion, christianity, myths of the bible, etc. But what really surprised me is that most of the people in church did know much of the bible. I think they don't know much about what they are believing. Its seem like 'God loves you, hallelujah!!' So having some knowledge about the bible didn't work very well. And I realised that talking about contradictions of the bible and other things would really provoke them. When I should told someone that the bible said things about how the lord do not allow women to talk in church or teach men or have authority over men, (1corinthians 14:34 & 1Timothy 2:8), she instanly said 'F**k you!, the bible doesn't say that!'.

So I gave up talking to christains about that kind of subject. I also don't think it is right of me to insult them. Of course, my intention is not to mock them, but to show what they are believing. But they would reject me and not listen tp anything that conflicts their belief.

It's not really my concern what people believe, if they are happy with what they are believing and if that helps their daily life, then fine. But I think problem occurs when they try to convince people that their way of life is the only right way and if you don't follow jesus, you will go to hell.

I hope people in future, people would be more open minded. I hope that people would learn to respect each other and love each other regardless of what they believe or don't believe.

South Korea
Joined: Since I was Born
Left: About 31
Was: Presbyterian Church
Now: Between Agnostic and Atheist
Converted because: I was born in a Christian family
De-converted because: Some christians can be very ignorant.

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