Guided by History

sent in by Derek

Well my story begins much like everyone else’s; I was brought up in a catholic church to begin with until I was about 11. Then one day my mother decided to take us to a Pentecostal church because she liked the atmosphere and the friendly nature of the people who went there. Unlike the Catholic Church we had previously attended.

Anyways I would attend church Thursday, Saturday bible study, Sunday morning service and Sunday night service and I was an Active member of youth group until about 19 years of age. I had always been raised thinking that the Bible was the "True Word of God" and that it was infallible. I read the Bible day in a day out believing that Jesus was truly the son of God and that he died for my sins. I would argue with kids in school who didn't believe or kids who called me a bible thumper but I didn't care I stood by my beliefs.

Well as time passed I slowly stopped attending church but continued to pray and read the Bible. I had accepted Jesus as my personal savior so I figured that it wouldn't matter if I didn't attend church regularly as long as I kept praying and reading the Bible. Then one day I saw a movie called Stigmata and at the end of the movie it talked about scrolls that were found called the Dead Sea Scrolls. They also talked about how the Catholic Church denied the authenticity of these scrolls calling them heresy.

Well I researched it along with some gospels called the Gnostic Gospels and I was stunned at what I found. It took me a while but I began to realize that the Jesus who I had known may not have been the Jesus that really existed; rather his stories were fabricated by the early founders of the Church. As time moved on I read more and more about how Christianity had many contradictions and that the Bible was indeed fallible. I also came to a harsh realization that Man had in fact written the Bible....Not God.

I continued Reading on going through such books at Holy Blood Holy Grail and the Messianic Legacy and while I don't necessarily believe everything in them it gave me a clearer picture of who Jesus might have really been. Instead of a Peace loving Savior of man...He may have been a Militant King who got his story changed around. The one thing that really made me think about this theory was the book of Luke 22:36 where Jesus tells his Disciples to do what ever is necessary to obtain swords. Then as Jesus was being arrested Peter cut off the guard’s ear....the thing that didn't sit right with me is if these guys were so peaceful then why were they using swords? Also I found out that the translation of the Bible from Aramaic to Greek to English caused it to get skewed from what it really was. And when the Romans sent out a group of men to get Jesus they didn't send out 10 or 15 but rather 600 men.

This isn't found in the Bible but literal Roman history — a side of the story that many people don't get a chance to look at. So since then I have come to realize that what I had previously thought to be truth was in fact nothing more then a series of elaborate fairy tales....I continue to search for the truth but I have no doubts in my mind that Christianity isn't the truth.

San Antonio
How old were you when you became a Christian? 9
How old were you when you ceased being a Christian? 21
What churches or organizations or labels have applied to you? 2
What labels, if any, would you apply to yourself now? Agnostic
Why did you become a Christian? Family thing to do
Why did you de-convert? Studied the true beginnings of Christianity.
email: Rnwbman at yahoo dot com


Anonymous said...

I know how it feels. I'm 37, was in ministry for 10 years...and was brought up in an evangelical home with a father who was the pastor...The only truth I have found now that I have read through the gnositcs and other religions is...what is right here, right now...and that I don't know much else. Good luck to you on your journey.

Anonymous said...

welcome to waking up with the rest of us. what you will find is the more knowledge you seek the more you will see evidence of politics and power organizing the written word starting with Constantine. It is interesting to note that the founders of the United States were well versed in the Greek Classics and that such were taught quite freely up through the 1940's in better schools.

You will also find the Internet to be a wealth of knowledge starting with this site and and as well as others.

Here are links to two of my more favorite articles and authors about Christianity:

The Truth About Jesus (compares Jesus to Apollo whose myth preceded Jesus' by several hundred years)

Joseph Wheless' Forgery In Christianity

SpaceMonk said...

Yeah, I hate the term "just a gnostic heresy", when it's modern christianity that is just as likely the heresy. It was just the one version of christianity that wiped out the other(s).

I think if gnostic christianity had spread over the world rather than standard christiantiy our civilisations would be so much more peaceful and enlightened by now (it at least couldn't be used as justification for political power, military conquests, manipulative moral codes and oppressive laws -which is probably why it was exterminated).

Anonymous said...

Url's didn't copy correctly, hope these work

M.M. Mangasarian's Truth About Jesus

Anonymous said...

Gnostic wisdom,..."The christian message is absurd and grotesque!You are born in sin and deserved to be punished.If you believe in a crucified and resurrected godman,'ll go to heaven.if not,your BURN forever,..tortured for eternity in hell!"
This gruesome and ridiculous doctrine is is way beyond flawed for any thinking and compassionate
human being.

I'll take gnostic wisdom over literalist churchianity anyday!The latter is an insult to intelligence
in general,..(human or super-human).

Anonymous said...


Where on earth did you read that the Romans sent 600 men to take Jesus? If this reference exists it may be the only extant piece of evidence that Jesus ever existed! Please tell us where you found this.

Jim said...

It can be a long hard road for some of us, before we reach the conclusion that we have been conned by Christian beliefs. Once we become free of the bullshit of not only Christianity, but all religions, then we become truly free. Cheers everybody Jim Lee

Ian said...

When one does serious historical research about the man known today as Jesus, you're bound to see the man in a different light. Like you Derek, I've done a lot of research and readings and i'm convinced that if there was a man named Jesus (Or Yeshua or whatever), that his story was heavily added onto and mythologized after his death.

Sometimes, doing your homework really pays off.

Anonymous said...

Nice testimony guy. Btw i also watched stigmata. It was one of the movies to slowly make me turn to Jesus. I was scared shitless haha. But yes when i was a christian the stuff i saw at the end about the scrolls i ignored, trying to keep my faith. One day i had enuf and researched a little. By the way. Isnt the book of Thomas the one where jesus says God is in each of us. Im not sure. Isnt it the book that also 'seems' to present universal salvation U know how he talks with peter. Meh Jesus concept is stupid, it messes with you head aye. Have a good day/night all

Anonymous said...

Re Optimist:
I've read that too (in Holy Blood, Holy Grail I believe - although one has to read that book with a large grain of salt)
It's not a reference to some obscure historical piece, but simply that in the original text of the Bible it says that a 'cohort' was sent to arrest Jesus. A 'cohort' is a miltitairy term which denotes a group of 480 men. But since Judea had Auxiliary troops and not regular troops a cohort consisted of 600 men.

Anonymous said...

hi,i'm an italian boy.excuse me for my english.In my country there is a an historian named Luigi Cascioli who claims Jesus was a guy named Giovanni di Gamala,a zealot.
he also denounced catholic church for abuse of credulity and replacement of person.

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