sent in by Jim T
Before I start I just want to let everyone know who has posted a comment or testimony by saying that you have really helped me sort out a lot of the thoughts and questions running through my mind. I think my testimony is similar to many others in here and I would like to share it with everyone.
First let me give you a little background to my story. I guess I can begin my story at about 6 years old. My family and I were living in a suburb outside of Detroit called Pontiac which many of you will be familiar with from the car. It was me, my mom, my brother, and my dad. Everything was going fine until my dad decided he wanted more out of life and struggling with his own personal issues succumbed to the bar life and drugs. Well, my mom was not too thrilled with my dad's new habits and after two years of fighting and arguing and not to mention my dad living a destructive lifestyle, my mother finally divorced him. After the divorce, my mother who had always had a bit of a feisty side to her decided she did not want her kids to sit around and watch their dad destroy his life and theirs any longer. So one day my mom pulled out a map and asked my brother and I where we wanted to move to. I said Arizona and my brother said San Diego. We moved to San Diego. Four Years after some great experiences and meeting some great friends we turned back around and moved to Pittsburgh mainly because my brother was drinking heavily and using drugs.
My grandparents had retired from GM and my mom of course wanted to be closer to them so that's why we moved here to Pittsburgh where I met my first girlfriend at the age of 15. Little did I know that she was a Christian which probably would not have bothered me anyway. Her father was basically an assistant pastor at a neighborhood church. He was a very nice guy and I always thought the world of him because he was so humble and so nice. He just seemed like he had great aura to him. Everyone thought that of him. He just had a real nice way about him. My girlfriend and I of course like teenagers do fell in love with each other which led to us basically having sex almost everyday. Shortly into our relationship when I was 15 and her being 17 was invited to a church summer camp which was held by a local church district in western Pennsylvania (at a very nice campsite in New Castle PA). It basically turned out to be an eye opening experience. I remember being memorized by all the kids there who just seemed like they loved God so much. Being the kind person I am which is generally good natured I thought it was the most awesome thing I had ever seen. A few days later during one of the evening services I of course went to the front to receive Jesus as my Lord and Savior which to this day still has an emotional affect on me when I talk about it. At that time in my life I was a very emotional and impressionable young guy. I remember how great I thought it would be to belong to such a great group of people a "family". I was beyond excited which a lot of people probably reading this can relate to. I felt great. To this day I still get emotional talking about the experience because I remember all the feelings I had experienced when I made this decision to become a born again Christian and accept Jesus into my heart.
After camp my girlfriend and I came home and of course continued to have sex even having sex one time in the church basement which to this day I'm not proud of. Her being the Christian youth leader basically ate away at our "Christian conscience" and I ended up breaking off the relationship which after three years was hard.
After that being the great Christian I thought I was and wanted to be I went to study God's word at a Christian University in Lynchburg VA. Take a wild guess at whose college that was. If you guessed Jerry's you get the prize. After about a year and a half and some terrible experiences I decided to come home. To make a long story short I eventually found my way out of Christianity. I like many others in here studied Christian apologetics. While studying apologetics I pretty much read every Christian theologian and book you could possibly name. Being the free thinker I thought I was read a book called The Case Against Christianity by Michael Martin. I thought it was a great book. Hearing the Christian responses to this book probably threw me over the edge. It was the same old lies and Christian dribble that gets force fed down every Christian's throat. After a while the contradictions and lies became too much to swallow just like anyone else who has actually studied the facts knows. I just could not do it any longer. I like many others on this site decided to just walk away from it after ten years at the age of 25. Today being 29 years old with a four year old son, working two jobs I'm a little grateful and a little bitter about my Christian experience. I felt like I should have went to a technical school and could have gotten a good trade or something instead of putting so much energy into chasing after a false hope which was never there.
Online Reading List
- An Outline of Intellectual Rubbish by Bertrand Russell (1943)
- Bible Teaching and Religious Practice by Mark Twain
- God is Imaginary
- Is there an Artificial God? by Douglas Adams (1998)
- Skeptics Annotated Bible
- The Age of Reason by Thomas Paine (1795)
- Which Way? by Robert Ingersoll (1884).
- Why I Am Not A Christian by Bertrand Russell (1927)