sent in by Sean
i was born into a "christian" family. every sunday we would go to church and my father would be the pillar of society. then when we got home he would be the violent bully i know and love. i loved going to church as a child. the pastor i had was a wonderfull loving man. and i enjoyed hearing about this loving god who loved me and wanted to be with me.
i suppose i wanted god because my father was so far from the father image i would hear others talk about. he was gone most of my childhood drivin truck (it was sad for me but i also understood he had to put money on the table.)... and when he was home he put me through hell.
and speaking of hell... one of his favoret sayings was "oh piss on it, we're all going to hell anyway".
it was probably my father's constant putdowns and violence towards me that later on in years i would identify more with the "devil" when i read the bible.
my mother would send me to vacation bible schools every sumer and also stupid little bible clubs. one of my fondest memories is being outside of a church as a child and one of the other children threatening me after snack time... and being the type of person i am i responded, "you look really tough with those cookie crumbs around your mouth" to wich he replied by knocking me to the ground....
in my teen years i "left god" and went on to full time rebelion. and as i grew into being a man i married. after years of living away from home i began to think about the faith and how i would like to be an xtian and how it would please my parents... but i could never do it for them because if it was real i couldn't insult "god" in that way. i would have to understand it and come to "him" myself.
while visiting my parents and sitting in a church with them, i felt what i thought was "the holy spirit" come over me. (most likely run away emotions) and i "gave my life" to "god".
i began to dive into the bible. i wanted to do exactly what was asked of me. my wife and i gave away almost all we owned... (we both "accepted christ") .
and it was shortly after that we got kicked out of our first church. (in total we were asked to leave 3 all together. simply by trying to "follow god's word".) it seems churches are more interested in a better sound system than feeding the hungry and clothing the naked...
i would think of the molestations i recived as a child and thought how it could be used to help other victems find healing in "god" or the verbal abuse i recived could be used by "god" as well.... (not if god truly cared about my well being he could have just stepped in and stopped it... *sings* "our god is an awsome god....") one day as i was reading my bible i came across some verses that greatly troubled me. i spoke to my paster and some fellow "brothers" and no answer was satisfying.
they either didn't know or spoke to me like a pollitition.
and after seening that i began to see what was going on around me. that the church was a closed minded, self centerd social club. and the bible is a book of hate with just a sprinkling of love.
i have seen the "true nature of the beast" so to speak.
Became a Christian: raised in the faith from birth
Ceased being a Christian: 30
Email Address: email@example.com
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