Cover of AnthemBy Kat Sullivan
When you start to really doubt, they tell you to immerse yourself in the "word" and in prayer. And it sounds so wise and like it’s the right thing to do. But really it is the church's built in, self protective mechanism to keep people in the church. The intent seems to be to keep people from spending too long not hearing the “word” and too long away from prayer, because when the “word” and prayer start to seem foreign, weird and a little uncomfortable to people it becomes possible to see Christianity objectively. And it is when we see things objectively that we start to perceive reality, life, the world with more accuracy.
I have become convinced that religions tend to be delusions humans create for ourselves as a coping mechanism to help us get through life and a tool for governing society. In some ways that seems like it might be fine...I have my coping mechanisms too. But at least mine don't consume me, hurt me and hurt those around me like too much religion can do.
This de-conversion process has been so long and hard. Getting my mind blown with this new perception is exhausting. Oh frick man, it’s like I’m the main character in Ayn Rand’s “Anthem”.