Why I am now an atheist

Sent in by Jennifer V

My journey to becoming an atheist isn't really and amazing story. My brother and I grew up in a home where religion was never really discussed. It was just assumed that we were catholics like our parents were. I never asked questions about "God" or "Jesus", but believed what my parents did.

It wasn't until I was 16 and met my future husband(who is now my ex-husband) that I really explored religion and Christianity. My ex-husband and his family were devout Christians and it was expected that anyone he was dating would be also. I was preached to and eventually and was "saved". I repented all my sins and accepted "Jesus" into my heart. I didn't really know why I did it, I just knew that I hadn't heard anything else, so why wasn't Christianity correct? At this point, I was probably 19 years old and ready to get married to the guy who is now my ex-husband.

After we got married, I started taking some evening college courses and one of those happened to be philosophy. Of course I thought I knew everything there was to know....religion was right and everything else was "evil". My professor really opened my eyes to discovering who I was. She did teach me to not just accept things just because someone tells you that it is the truth. This course allowed me to explore different religions and also atheism. It seemed I wasn't allowed to do this around my ex-husband because he thought that I was "poisoning" my mind. I would always get on websites and read books, but I had to be sneaky. Needless to say, we got divorced when I was 25. I couldn't be with someone who thought that I was "evil" because I was reading and learning about different religions and cultures. Of course that's not the only reason we were divorced, but it was a big one.

I am now 26 and am still doing a lot of research on religions, but over the years I came to the conclusion that I never did believe in "God" or "Jesus", but said I did to fit in with my ex-husband and his beliefs, and his family. I feel for me that atheism is the truth.

To monitor comments posted to this topic, use .

23 comments:

Left of Center said...

Thanks for sharing that. I'm happy for you . Breaking those control factors that are built into the Christian culture is difficult.

Bill said...

Jennifer said,

"but over the years I came to the conclusion that I never did believe in "God" or "Jesus", but said I did."

I know the feeling. As I look back on my so called religious life, it was nothing more than faking belief to try to conform to the norms. I tried really really hard to believe, but the nagging doubt would never let me fully let go.

Isn't is funny how a little bit of knowledge can just sweep any hint of religious belief one might have, right under the rug.

Welcome to reality Jennifer.

Truthbound said...

Hi Jennifer, congratulations on your liberation! Ironic isn’t it that what Christians claim to be truth has to be protected against potential “poisoning”! Seems to me that the truth would still be truthful, perhaps even more illumined, when compared with any alleged falsehood! My experience was similar to yours in many ways. Hats off to you for having the courage to face such challenging changes in your life! Keep up the good work and thanks for the post.

sailerfraud said...

Great testimony. The truth is so simple, that there is no god nd Christianity is another compilation of mythologies and cult beliefs.

You should not be required to write a Pulitzer prize winning testimony to seek the simple truth.

Anonymous said...

It is good that you are honest to yourself, and in this way of not believing you do it better than pretending to believe.
But perhaps you will find your own way to believe. An atheist has also his own "religion", because he can't show in an empirical way that there is no god, what he can do is only to confess this. So it is as good as believing in God. It only depends on what you prefer, and sometimes, who your friends happen to be, just like what happened with your family tradition and your ex-husband.

Spirula said...

I just knew that I hadn't heard anything else, so why wasn't Christianity correct

You know, this is a profound statement in that the vast majority of religious people don't seem to realize that the only reason they believe in their religion is because of the culture they were born into. They did not spend time examining all the other religions and come to a conclusion that only one, the one they choose, could be true. But they are convinced they have the right one. Amazing self-deception when you think about it.

Really, given a name and geographic location you can predict with a high degree of accuracy exactly which "faith" someone belongs to.

Anonymous said...

If being an atheist is a religion, then I have found the one true religion! Praise be to logic and reason. Jim Earl

Jim Arvo said...

Who got the apple? Aphrodite, of course! And then she split.

alanh said...

Anonymous wrote:

An atheist has also his own "religion", because he can't show in an empirical way that there is no god

Sorry anon, you can test for god, or at least the god that most Christians think exists. Prayer has been shown to be ineffective, claims of miracles and healings never stand up to scrutiny, and nobody has any real evidence that a god exists. An undetectable god that doesn't interact with our world is possible, but that's not what most people believe in.


Jennifer, thanks for the post. Not having to deal with the irrationality of Christianity will do wonders for your mental health.

Dave8 said...

Jennifer, welcome to the site, and great testimony. Hope you are getting more opportunity to see the world, and be intellectually free to create who you are, and will be. Take Care.

Dave8 said...

Anony: "An atheist has also his own "religion", because he can't show in an empirical way that there is no god, what he can do is only to confess this."

If you "absolutely" suggest that "no" person can show in an "empirical" way that there is no god, and you also "believe" a god exists, then, your "god" concept must be based on "other" than empirical means, e.g., non-empirical.

Empirical: "1. derived from or guided by experience or experiment."
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/empirical

Okay, anony, if your god concept is non-empirical, then you can't use experiences or natural reality that is subject to experiment... and, just how do you believe you are going to escape your "experiential" being in order to validate your claim that your god is non-empirical?

I confess, if you are suggesting that one must lose their natural mind, in order to find your god... than, no thanks.

Dave8 said...

Dave8: "...than, no thanks."

Meant "...then, no thanks", but perhaps, "then, no thanks on the offer of insanity" would have done as well :0)

Kiono Ingram said...

First off please don't be upset with me for what I am about to say. I mean it all in love. I think it is great that you are studying other religions. Not all christians think it is mind poisioning. The bible actually teaches that people perish from a lack of knowledge. You did right. I have faith that you are going to have a great relationship with Jesus, especially now that you are trying something else. You must believe in Jesus in sprit and in truth, not because its the norm or to fit in. Now you have the opportunity to test things out. You know what it is like to live without Jesus. Some people don't. I challenge you, if you will, to give Jesus another try. What will it hurt? What I mean by try him is, talk to him like you would talk to a friend.Put away all the books and logic and just talk to him. Ask him to prove he exists. Give him a chance to have a relationship with you. That is what true christians build there faith on. Our relationship with Jesus. The bible never promised people would not suffer, be hungry, homeless or penniless. He did promise to be there with you and lead you out of if or through it. The more you come to know Jesus for yourself the better you will understand why there is so much pain and suffering in the world. Many people don't understand how a God could let so many horrible things happen, but God never said that horrible things wouldn't happen. He never promised peace on earth. When the world if falling apart all around me he makes it bareble. He provides peace with in, when there is no peace around. Don't base your decision on other peoples actions and how horrible the world seems. Base your decision on your own relationship with Jesus. If you never have had one then you can't understand why christians are so devout. You have already tried Religion and of course it failed, now try Jesus. He won't fail you. In my experience I can truly say that all that I have been through was more bareable because I know Jesus, not know of him but I know him. Thats my testimony, not that once I found Jesus and got to know him life was put on easy street, no, but all the things I go through are more bareable because he is always with me. I know you probably won't call me but if you would like to talk about this or if you would like to give me a piece of your mind because you don't like what I have said call me, please! (501)614-2819 or (501)744-4588.

Wes said...

First off please don't be upset with me for what I am about to say. I mean it all in love. I think it is great that you are studying other religions. Not all muslims think it is mind poisioning. The koran actually teaches that people perish from a lack of knowledge. You did right. I have faith that you are going to have a great relationship with muhammed, especially now that you are trying something else. You must believe in muhammed in sprit and in truth, not because its the norm or to fit in. Now you have the opportunity to test things out. You know what it is like to live without Allah. Some people don't. I challenge you, if you will, to give muhhamed another try. What will it hurt? What I mean by try him is, talk to him like you would talk to a friend.Put away all the books and logic and just talk to him. Ask him to prove he exists. Give him a chance to have a relationship with you. That is what true muslims build there faith on. Our relationship with muhammed. The koran never promised people would not suffer, be hungry, homeless or penniless. He did promise to be there with you and lead you out of if or through it. The more you come to know muhammed for yourself the better you will understand why there is so much pain and suffering in the world. Many people don't understand how a God could let so many horrible things happen, but Allah never said that horrible things wouldn't happen. He never promised peace on earth. When the world if falling apart all around me he makes it bareble. He provides peace with in, when there is no peace around. Don't base your decision on other peoples actions and how horrible the world seems. Base your decision on your own relationship with Muhammed. If you never have had one then you can't understand why muslims are so devout. You have already tried Religion and of course it failed, now try muhammed. He won't fail you. In my experience I can truly say that all that I have been through was more bareable because I know muhammed, not know of him but I know him. Thats my testimony, not that once I found muhammed and got to know him life was put on easy street, no, but all the things I go through are more bareable because he is always with me. I know you probably won't call me but if you would like to talk about this or if you would like to give me a piece of your mind because you don't like what I have said call me, please! (501)614-2819 or (501)744-4588.

See how silly you sound?

J. C. Samuelson said...

Kiono,

There are two things I'd like to say to you. First, please read more testimonies. Most of us here have been there, done that. Some of us would have been classified as fundamentalists or Jesus freaks. We have tried Jesus. Jesus, if he ever existed, was a man, not a God, and you can't have a relationship with a dead man (unless you have some sick sexual tendencies that are better left in the dark corners of the web that nobody ever visits). Period.

Second, you seem like a nice person (if a bit misguided) and I'd like to give you some friendly advice about web safety. Though I like to think that all of us here are moral people and would do nothing to harm you, this site is publicly available and receives hundreds of "hits" from all over the world every day. In other words, there is a chance that someone out there who IS willing to do you harm may see your phone number and track you down.

So...

Don't EVER post your personal phone number, address, or any means by which some sicko could find you and violate the sanctity of your life or that of your loved ones. As a matter of fact, I've just sent the Webmaster an email asking if there's a way to truncate your comment for your own safety.

shannerwren said...

You know the best thing about having an invisible friend like jesus? He doesn't lock the car windows and fart in the car. He doesn't use the last bit of toilet paper and not replace the roll. He doesn't leave the toilet seat up or leave hair on your soap or leave the drain rat in the drain. He doesn't ask you for money or drunk-dial you at three in morning. He doesn't drink you last Pepsi or leave cups in the sink with a bit of milk to dry out in. He doesn't horde the TV flipper or steal the blankets or ask you for sex. He doesn't talk to you when you don't want to listen. Invisible friends are the best - you don't have to give them the same as you do real live friends. You earn real live friends.

Real friends come get you when you drunk-dial them at three in the morning. Real friends give you $20 when you need it and they don't ask for it back. Real friends share half of their last Pepsi. Real friends take the blankets back and real friends would surely sleep with you or help you get laid. Real friends would remove the drain rat because it grosses you out. Real friends will hug you when your day has turned to shit. And real friends would never believe that you deserve to roast in ever-lasting torture.

Melissa said...

Good for you Jennifer!

I enjoyed learning from your story. It just might help someone else out there struggling to let go of their irrational faith in a hodgepodged collection of ancient mythical fantasies.

I think the majority of believers deeply struggle to fight off those ever nagging doubts they have about their unfounded beliefs in a dark aged religious cult.

But most are too afraid to say it out loud, much less to dig deeper into the facts of our world's
history to reveal the schemes that enabled religious dogma to take over enitre nations and cultures.

Religious faith is assimilation. Either that, or it is death and torture forever and ever. Amen.

How unlovely.

Seeing is DISbelieving. WE can think for ourselves and still be a wonderful human being. Don't ever let the religibots make you think otherwise.

Hopefully, the masses will begin to see why their rational mind has been nagging them all along. It is for good reason.

May good reason continue to shine upon us all! Thanks for sharing a part of your life with us.

God's Child said...

you people think that GOD is religion WRONG ...

GOD ISN'T ABOUT religion ... JESUS CHRIST DIDN'T BRING religion TO US HE BROUGHT SALVATION AND RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD WE CAN NOW HAVE ... THAT SAME RELATIONSHIP WAS LOST BY ADAM BUT JESUS PAID THE PRICE FOR IT AND BROUGHT IT TO US

YOU BELIEVE ON GOD IS WRONG IT NOT ABOUT religion ITS ABOUT RELATIONSHIP

Astreja said...

God's Child, I already have many fine "relationships" with gods.

But not that sadistic bastard described in the Bible. I can do a lot better...

Athena, for Her wisdom.

Tiamat, for being a kick-ass Mother.

Shiva, the patron god of demolitions, and the lovely Kali Ma.

Freyja (hi, Mom!) and Bastet, Cat Ladies extraordinaire.

OĆ°inn (but I just call him 'Dad'), another Very Wise Guy.

Eris, Queen of Xaos (and fun at parties).

Uncle Loki. Little brother Thor. Eagle. Paladine, Takhisis, Gilean and the rest of that fine crew from Krynn. Blind Io, Offler the Crocodile God, and of course The Lady.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster, whose likeness adorns my car.

The Invisible Pink Unicorn, who shares my taste in pizza (ham and pineapple).

Oh, yeah. And Me, too. (switches into Springy Goddess mode and glares menacingly at the Caps Lock key on God's Child's keyboard) Don't make me come over there...

Anonymous said...

you people are sad,dont believe in God? look around at creation..

Jim Arvo said...

Wow, that's deep, Anonymous. I can tell you're a real thinker.

boomSLANG said...

Annoy'in us chimes in with one of the oldest apologetics in the book. The "lookist" argument for God:

...dont believe in God? look around at creation..

Praise Quetzacoatl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

James said...

Having only seen one "creation" how can we possibly have any objective view of how "good" it is

if we can I think David Attenborough said it best

"My response is that when Creationists talk about God creating every individual species as a separate act, they always instance hummingbirds, or orchids, sunflowers and beautiful things. But I tend to think instead of a parasitic worm that is boring through the eye of a boy sitting on the bank of a river in West Africa, [a worm] that's going to make him blind. And [I ask them], 'Are you telling me that the God you believe in, who you also say is an all-merciful God, who cares for each one of us individually, are you saying that God created this worm that can live in no other way than in an innocent child's eyeball? Because that doesn't seem to me to coincide with a God who's full of mercy"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Attenborough#Re

Archived Testimonial Pageviews the past 30 days