Sent in by Chris
I was born into a Christian family, which also believed in the Book of Mormon, but was adamantly opposed to the Mormon church and their "wayward" beliefs (go figure). Eventually I came to see that the Mormonism was a hoax, and was able to reject the portion of my beliefs that stemmed from the Book of Mormon. Part of this realization was a result of my wife's influence in my life. Recently I've also come to realize that most (if not all) of Christianity is also a hoax.
After about a year's absence from going to church and Bible reading, I recently opened up my Bible to read through the Book of John. I was shocked at how much nonsense I read that day. I had absolutely no desire at the time to believe that Christianity was false, but after reading that and many things since then that opened my eyes, I can't rationalize my beliefs through the Bible. It just doesn't work. Either the God "of the Bible" exists, and had allowed a false, misleading, and/or misinterpreted Bible to come into my hands, or the God "of the Bible" doesn't exist. I can't believe in something just because a bunch of dead men said it was so, and a bunch of people living today say that all the leg-work of proving their claims has already been done and I should just have faith. I can't do it. There is just too much nonsense in the Bible to believe it in its entirety.
If I could I would start living my life without Christianity. I have a big problem though. My wife believes in it, and there is absolutely no way she will deny any part of her beliefs. Seriously, no way. Period. She would sooner kill herself than question her beliefs. I kind of understand that thinking myself because I went through a couple months of planning my own suicide and almost going through it. With her, however, it's much more difficult. I cannot reason with her and show her that things may be different than what she has always believed. It will literally crush her not to believe it all.
I told my wife a few weeks into my loss of faith that I was questioning things, and we had a few really tough weeks after that. We both became (and both still are) very depressed. The only reason that we're maintaining now is that I've found some Christian teachings that I respect and will always hold as truth, because they are "good" teachings. I've also found a church that is led by a "good" pastoral staff that truly cares about their congregation. I really respect them, even though I can't believe everything they teach. This respect for the teachings and the church appears to my wife to be a regained faith in Christianity as a whole. She doesn't understand and probably never will understand how I truly see things. I'd like to think that I could be wrong, but I know her too well to risk trying to bring her out of her beliefs. She will lose all hope in life.
I hope to find a way to make at least one of us happy, either my wife or myself. I think I know what I need to do in order for us both to live healthy lives, but I cannot see how it's going to work out. I think we need to get divorced, and break off all communication with each other. Then she can go on with her life and I can go on with mine. I know this will be extremely tough on both of us though.
Has anyone out there had a spouse who refuses to change their beliefs, and had to decide whether or not to divorce? If so, do you have any advice for me?
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Online Reading List
- An Outline of Intellectual Rubbish by Bertrand Russell (1943)
- Bible Teaching and Religious Practice by Mark Twain
- God is Imaginary
- Is there an Artificial God? by Douglas Adams (1998)
- Skeptics Annotated Bible
- The Age of Reason by Thomas Paine (1795)
- Which Way? by Robert Ingersoll (1884).
- Why I Am Not A Christian by Bertrand Russell (1927)