sent in by Marie Murdock
Ok where do I begin?
I grew up in an abusive environment, which led to many emotional/mental scars....As a teenager I dabbled in drugs/alcohol/sex...and because of my past, I knew I needed to learn to cope in a healthier manner. I started going to church when I was 15 because my Mom, had gotten "saved", and was told that God was the only thing to save anyone from drugs/alcohol and self destructive behaviours. Of course being so young and wanting to "still serve my flesh", I continued to as most teenagers, and kept in the partying mode. When I met my husband...his Dad, a "christian" started taking us to church and we were told "we had to get married" because we were having sex...so 3 months later (age 19) we were married in a ceremony I had nothing to do with, accept show up~! The church made all the arrangements and I just needed to be there! (WE were "offending" ppl, by our lifestyle of sexual sin, and that is why we had to get married.)
Well needless to say...we made a big mistake...Our marriage lasted 7 years and 3 children.
All thru my adult life, I have tried to stay faithful to a church, which at times has been impossible....Iam either "demon possessed, living in bondage, under generational curses, or not having enough faith!"....UGGHHHHHHHH
When I have questioned certain doctrines or asked "why" regarding scriptures and the contradictions.....NO one can give me a straight answer, or Iam told the "devil" is filling my mind.
So I have had enough of the condemnation, judgement, and criticism from those who continue to strive for some sort of perfection in the eyes of a God, I have never head from.....
I still stuggle with the condemnation and voices of criticism, but today Iam trying very hard to use my own mind and listen to the voice of reason.....mine.......
Tired of churches telling me how to think.....Tired of so called righteous ppl pointing and condemning me, yet countless are stuck in porn, and adultry.
Need to find myself, apart from the doctrines of men/churches.
Converted because: I was told "I was lost" and "needed saving"
De-converted because: Needed answers and peace
email: marie_murdock2000 at yahoo dot com