One year as a Christian was enough

Sent in by Shadowed One

Ironically, I became a christian due to mental problems, which lead to a psychosis.

I guess an ideal Christian is a eunuch (you remember those parts about them in the bible, don't you?), who had a lobotomy so he has no sinful wishes or blasphemous thoughts.

Well, from that point of view year of taking neuroleptics was very useful. My doubts grew over time, but the moment,when I stopped considering myself a Christian was when I read about God killing 70,000 innocent people because David ordered a census of the people (1 Chronicles 21) .

The book of Job is also pretty stupid. God has a bet with devil that no matter what happens Job will remain loyal to him. To check it out he lets devil kill all Job's slaves and children and "smote Job with sore boils from the sole of his foot unto his crown." Another nice Christian story.

Also,I was a member of Messianic community, where pastor was very serious about the "don't ignore the OT" stuff. Surely,Jesus didn't cancel the OT, but doesn't that mean,that they should not only obey the "what to eat" stuff and sabbath, but also,for example,stone to death those,who don't? I wonder...

Being a christian I had to feel guilt about anything that's related to sexual desire and to believe, that many people are going to be sent to a "lake of fire" by a "god, who loves them," because they've done something wrong. (George Carlin made great fun of this crap in his "Religion is bullshit" act. You can check it out on YouTube).

Sure makes you feel kinda uncomfortable. Now I feel like I should apologise to my friend-atheist, whom I tried to "save." Or just don't mention it.

Also, my cultural desires are pretty non-Christian. My favorite authors are Camus, Nietzsche and Bertrand Russell, nevertheless I do admire Kierkegaard and a few other religious authors. Music I like is also often pretty blasphemous (industrial,dark-folk e.t.c. ).

Talking about the Christians I got to meet: at their best,they are good tempered, at their worst...

Well, in our community we had a prayer before the begining of the show, they (80-90 % in the community were rather old women) used to form a small circle, aim their hands to the centre (sorry, I just don't know how to say it in English) and try to summon Jesus or Adonai or something. It was sometimes followed by hysterical screams like "We need you, Lord! You promised, Lord!" e.t.c. The "I know the absolute truth" and "you are going to hell,if you do not repent" types of christians are very annoying.

Anyway, I didn't notice any Holy Ghost's killing any "old men." Well, maybe this bullshit IS killing the old men who attend the services, but I am not sure.

Thank you for your attention and sorry for my poor English.

City: Riga
Country: Latvia
Became a Christian: April 2007
Ceased being a Christian: April 2008
Labels before: Jewdo-christian
Labels now: Agnostic
Why I joined: I needed a crutch
Why I left: Don't need it anymore,besides,I HAVE read the Bible


Anonymous said...

"Why I left: Don't need it anymore,besides,I HAVE read the Bible"

That's good English, and very funny!

Anonymous said...

Shadowed One,
Your English is wonderful. I'm an ESL instructor in China, and I would be overjoyed if my students' English were half as good as yours.

Congratulations on realizing that religion is bullshit. Be happy that you only wasted a year on that crap. I spent 19 miserable years abusing myself under the auspices of Christianity. Some people waste their entire lives on it.

I hope you can get into some good therapy to help you with your problem.


AtheistToothFairy said...

Welcome aboard "Shadowed One" !!

I also loved George Carlin's "Religion is bullshit" act.
(Of course, I'm fairly certain the xtians in my family would NOT though)

Don't be concerned about your English being understood.
You did a far far better job of expressing yourself, than most of the fundie xtians who post on this site.

Again, welcome aboard

ATF ( Who wonders if they know about the Toothfairy [atheist or otherwise] in Latvia? )

Jacstar said...

Shadowed One,
Great story! Thanks for sharing it! You're English is great and you're funny too! Glad it only took you a year to find out it's all bullshit! It took me 20 years!!

Raul said...

First of all I'd like to thank everybody for their comments and to say,that I'm glad,that you like my English.
Lorena,I always love to make a woman smile and hate to make her laugh. :)
Well,19 or 20 years is like a prison term,but those people,who wasted their entired lifes have a chance to hang out with Jesus in the afterlife.Surely,he'll be very busy hanging out with milliards of people,but,after all,he is a superstar and eternity is pretty long,so in some ten million years time everybody should have a few hours of "hanging out with Jesus". :)
Antichristian,thank you for your concern,but I've already got all the therapy I needed and I am doing just fine. Honestly.
"I surpassed myself, the suffering one; I
carried mine own ashes to the mountain; a brighter flame I contrived for
myself. And lo! Thereupon the phantom WITHDREW from me!

To me the convalescent would it now be suffering and torment to believe in
such phantoms: suffering would it now be to me, and humiliation. Thus
speak I to backworldsmen."
(Friedrich Nietzsche , "Thus Spake Zarathustra" )
I hope that it was a one-time experience due to bad circumstances,but if I'll feel the need I won't hesitate to visit my psychiatrist.
No,noone knows ATF here in Latvia.

freedy said...

The book of Job is also petty stupid, shit!

First god kills all his family,slaves and livestock.
Then he proceeds to replace it.
I would have told god to stick it up his ass.After all he could
just kill them again.Who would want to go through that hellish nightmare again!

*I can't believe they allowed this book in the bible,dumbshits.

freedy said...

I guess it's both petty & pretty stupid.

Anonymous said...


I never thought of it. The book of job is a text-book case of emotional abuse, no different from spousal abuse situations, for instance.

Emanuel Goldstein said...

Shadowed one.

Don't forget that practitioners of secular atheistic philopshies controlled the Soviet Union, and your country for 70 years.

They nearly brought your country to ruin, until they self destructed.

Don't be fooled into thinking the atheists care about you.

Raul said...

Well,Andrew,that's just not true. Actually, Latvia was one of the most prospering countries of the Soviet Union and probably that was the reason why they wanted their "independence". After achieving it they've sold all the factories for nothing and made chauvinism their main ideology. You know,about the discrimination of non-latvians here,don't you? We have second-class passports,so we can't vote e.t.c.
Talking about political freedoms,I've personally known people,who were arrested on fabricated charges,because of their political beliefs. The Vladimir Linderman case, who's now facing a severe prison sentence on a politically motivated case is the latest example.
Also,I didn't say,that I believe,that atheists in general care about me. Well,my best friend is an atheist,that's true,and I do admire atheists more,than people,who believe,that God had made a human sacrifice and now we must accept in order to get "saved".

Dave8 said...

Welcome aboard, I can't say that I was a practicing Christian per biblical standards growing up, but... I was culturally immersed for the majority of my life.

It's good to see you got out early, take care.

Dave8 said...

Andrew: "Don't be fooled into thinking the atheists care about you."

Andrew generalizes that "all" atheists have no concern for others.

Well, Andrew, that is about as quaint as you suggesting that an entire ethnic race doesn't have concern for others.

Shall we now begin the simile wars... I'll go first, your generalization and devaluation of a group of people, is "like" the same philosophy adopted by Hitler - you apply your generalization towards all atheists; he applied it to all Jews.

One ponders how Andrew would apply his bigotry if he held a prominent political position - anywhere.

AtheistToothFairy said...

Hey Troll Andrew,

Do you mind telling us what distant planet you live on?

Perhaps on your planet, it was the atheists who wiped out life on a global scale, but here on Earth, it was the xtian psycho god who decided ALL life was worthless and **murdered** it all.
(That is, if one is dumb enough to believe in such god flood legends)

If life on earth comes to an abrupt end [again], it will be caused by some god fearing religious fanatic, who will destroy in the name of some invisible god (or perhaps thinks themselves to be some god).

Troll Andrew's perception of this earth and humanity, is so far out-of-alignment with reality, that if he were wheels to a car, that car would always travel sideways down the road.

Andrew, I don't know how anyone can be clever enough to pull off the antics you do on our site, but yet at the same time, be so naive and ignorant when it comes to the fables and legends of old, that he believes such mystical god(s) are real and in-touch with humans like YOU.

Perhaps you could get your 'trained doggie' god to do some cool tricks for us, to prove it's own existence?
Does your god bark and roll-over and stand on it's hind legs?
We already know your god begs well, as in begs for lots of human MONEY.

Perhaps you could show us how this great powerful god of yours, resides outside your own deluded 'mind'?

If you can't prove your god, then know what, shut your damn pie hole and find some reality

ATF (Who never sees andrew back up his god assertions, but notices he is always quick to vomit out lies)

webmdave said...

Get some help, Andrew. You are sick.

webmdave said...

Andrew has been posting on Craig's list, attacking people who are struggling with emotional problems.

He's a real case. I hope he gets help soon.

webmdave said...

Please do not engage Andrew. It makes him manic. Here is his profile as expressed by several different website owners with whom I am in correspondence:


Early 40s

Emotional age of about 17.

Lives with parents near Dallas or KC.

Traditional/Fundamentalist Christians, probably Catholic.

Huge resentment of parents.

Parents may have been abusive, or this may be delusion due to chemical paranoia.

Fond of grandfather or older male.


One daughter?

One step-daughter?

Court order limits visitation?

Accused of molesting daughter(s)?

Closeted self-hating homosexual.

Tremendous anger at self and anyone who reaches out to him.

Limited sexual experience.

No significant relationships.

Currently accused or under investigation for a sex crime.

Drinks alcohol and smokes marijuana regularly.

Overweight due to fast food, alcohol, lack of exercise.

Self-taught psychology student.

Long history of psychological problems dating to childhood.

Narcissistic personality.

Extremely manipulative!

Diagnosed Bipolar.

Daily manic posting followed by bouts of extreme depression.

On and off multiple psych meds.

Multiple short-term involuntary commitments.

Previous suicide attempt, but probably not sincere effort.

Huge resentment of mainstream psychology, mental health system.

Extreme intellectual insecurity manifests as attitude of superiority.

Obsessed with self-diagnosis.

Posts 24/7

I strongly advise everyone to refrain from addressing him. He is quite mentally ill, and quite possibly dangerous.

Astreja said...

WM, that is a truly frightening profile. As someone who has had unpleasant legal entanglements with an NPD-afflicted abuser, I second the motion to not engage this individual.

Dave8 said...

FBI statistics, from what I understand, suggest that there are at least 300 serial killers in the U.S., at any given time. The profile of a serial killer is typified by a severe lack of empathy towards others.

I do believe, it is in the duty of law abiding citizens, to encourage the removal of such elements from our society, whether they are active agents or primed candidates... I sincerely hope that Andrew becomes more competent in his skills; perhaps he will eventually eliminate the problem - himself.

The facts of life, suggest that we are not all born equally capable of cognitive function or adaptation. Lack of such qualities, elicit mal-adaptive behaviors that may or may become destructive to a society.

We can contain such individuals by isolating them in prisons/institutions, we can attempt to counter or correct any biological impairment with the best that medicine has to offer... or... we can hope that any non-correctible destructive behavior is fully focused towards the mal-adaptive individual.

Dave8 said...

Forgot a word... "Lack of such qualities, elicit mal-adaptive behaviors that may or may notbecome destructive to a society." [addition in bold]

Sacci said...

.:webmaster:. how did you find such info about Andrew?

Thank you.

mike56 said...

Michael has sent you a link to a blog:

You left because God killed ? David took a census that satan told him to take. God also gave the men three options and chose to be wiped out. I pray that your mind be complete. If Satan can decieve David what makes you think that he can't decieve you. Michael

webmdave said...

2 Samuel 24 says, "Again the anger of the Lord was aroused against Israel, and He moved David against them to say, "Go, number Israel and Judah." So the king said to Joab the commander of the army who was with him, "Now go throughout all the tribes of Israel, from Dan to Beersheba, and count the people, that I may know the number of the people."

Was it GOD or SATAN that commanded the census, and why the hell is it so wrong to take a census?

Dave8 said...

Mike56, since you are talking about David, and we are studying 2 Samual 24, I have a question.

How much did it cost David to buy the threshing floor?

2 Samuel 24:24 - "So David bought the threshing floor and the oxen for fifty shekel of silver."


1 Chronicles 21:25 - "So David gave to Ornan for the place six hundred shekels of gold."

Per Mike56, Satan is the ultimate appears we see his very works, right in the bible - right Mike.

AtheistToothFairy said...

mike56 wrote:
I pray that your mind be complete.


"complete" ?
As in what, Completely-Deluded?

If you only could see beyond your own emotions, and into the world of reality.

Mike said: If Satan can decieve David what makes you think that he can't decieve you.

Yes, and I suppose that if The Joker could deceive Batman, that he might deceive me as well, yes?

Gosh, I better watch out for ALL those legendary comic book villains, including the grandest of all, the gods from the comic book called, "The bible".

ATF (Who wonders if Satan used Kryptonite on Superman?)

Raul said...

To Mike56:
"You left because God killed?"
I simply don't want to worship the bloodthirsty bastard from the buybull book no more,ok? I don't even believe in jewdo-christian (or any other) God.
"He's got the answers to ease my curiosity
he dreamed a god up and called it christianity
your god is dead and no one cares
if there is a hell I will see you there" (NIN,"Heresy")
Let me guess,the next question should be "but what if you are wrong?" I mean,a question like "yea,god is a killer,but that doesn't prove,that he doesn't exist,right"? Well,I wouldn't worship someone as vile as YHWH in any case.
"I pray that your mind be complete."
Thank you,but I believe,that my mind is complete without fables about dinosaurs in Edem,"the Fall","the Flood" e.t.c.
"If Satan can decieve David what makes you think that he can't decieve you."
I just find it a bit retareted to believe in stuff about "fallen angels pulling people away from true faith",when you are living in 21st century.

HoustonAggie said...

Dear friend, it is not that Christianity is wrong as a whole, but that you were taught false Christianity. Many of today's "Christian" sects are commercialized and have incorporated doctrinal errors. Hell is not what was described to you.

Consider, a source that explains how original Christianity, which included prophets and apostles that held AUTHORITY from God, and necessary ordinances, have been restored in preparation for the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.

webmdave said...

Why is it that all these brave Christians have anonymous profiles?

AtheistToothFairy said...

webmdave wrote:
Why is it that all these brave Christians have anonymous profiles?

---ATF raises his hand to answer the webmaster's question to the class----

Oh, that's an easy one Dave.

It's so their god won't recognize their post on an anti-jesus website, and send them to hell for posting within sinful territory.

(or pssst....It might be that they make up their names, just for the purpose of trolling here, which would explain why their profiles are always brand new.... but don't let the secret out, ok)

ATF (Who thinks most xtians also hope the devil doesn't notice as well)

Raul said...

To HoustonAggie:
Oh,morons... I ment,mormons.

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