Does God really make me a better person?

Sent in by Jason

I call myself a human animal, no better than any other being on this planet, but I fit into the life cycle like all the other species.

I spent my life in a Christian home, with a pastor for a father who encouraged us to attend church and encouraged free thought and questioning. For this I am proud of him. I gave myself to Jesus as an adolescent without knowledge of all the facts and a warped understanding of the world.

Two months ago I changed my mind.

I have been through a mental and emotional roller coaster ride which culminated in me crying with my sister as we realised that when we die, that was it, and we would be apart. The here and now is what is precious and I let go of the hope in a paradise that is carefree and eternal.

It was devastating after believing in it for so long.

I just feel that others must know that they are not alone. I've been through thoughts of suicide as life now appears to be meaningless, and Christian friends keep saying, "If there's no purpose, why don't you just kill yourself?" Little do they know what its like to put such a belief behind yourself.

Love one another, my happiness is your happiness, appreciate all that we call life. Be open to answers, but don't become so bogged down on finding an answer that you give up - give up on life, or give up and just revert back to Christianity. Make decisions when you are thinking clearly.

Let's be an example of an alternative solution. Let us be the good people that others strive to be, the kind of person that makes the religious look at us and wonder, "Does God really make me a better person?"


Anonymous said...

"Christian friends keep saying, "If there's no purpose, why don't you just kill yourself?"

There's your answer right there: certainly didn't make them better persons.

Apostate_called_Jimmy said...

The deeply religious can't imagine life without God. But to me, the thought that life is an accident gives it more meaning. If the the chances of the universe existing without a creator is, say, 1 out of a trillion x a trillion, the fact that we are here against such astronomical odds makes life even more the beautiful. It all had to begin somewhere, what difference does it make if it began with God or the Big Bang? Either way, we're here. If the events that led to the birth of the universe were just slightly altered, we would not be here right now. So let's live the life we are so lucky to have.

speck said...

Hi Jason,

You said; "I let go of the hope in a paradise that is carefree and eternal."

Our 'hope for paradise' was simply a delusion that was rooted into our emotions from a very young age.

We've traded our 'hope' for something far more valuable.

Your emotions will heal and your personal honesty will serve you far better than any self-deception ever could have.

Telmi said...


Have you read the post from Gloria and the comments that followed?

There are some useful tips in those posts.


Anonymous said...

First of all, welcome! Secondly, I feel that we decide ourselves what our purpose is. Also, I want to echo what Jimmy said about life being rare and therefore precious. Let's face it, we won the lottery -- WE'RE HERE!! For me, that's damn good; why be greedy and say we have to live forever? After all, we didn't have a life as an individual before we were born, did we? If the absence of our own personal existence for a length of time in the universe is something to be upset about, then why aren't more people upset that they missed the first 13.7 billion years of it? So what that we are consccious for a few decades and then unconscious for the rest of eternity! We're damn lucky to get this much!

speck said...

Jason said

"....I am a human animal, no better than any other being on this planet, but I fit into the life cycle like all the other species."

The Christian believes that they are made in the Image of God and the universe was created exclusivly and specifically just for THEM as a stepping stone to their eternal reward for their willingness to become so HUMBLE?

Which idea sounds arrogant?

Fargofan1 said...

I can't believe any "friends" would encourage you to kill yourself. That's awful. I hope you know their viewpoint is extremely warped.

freethinker05 said...

Dear Jason, Don't feel alone, because, at times I get pretty depressed just knowing I'll never see any of the people I love very deeply again.
It is a sad situation to have to live with, but, thats just the life we have to deal with. Peace, Roger

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry that you're friends said that. They were obviously so wrong.
But no matter what you believe, there IS a purpose. I don't care if you say you don't believe. There is no atter what you say.
And sometimes I feel like, what if there isn't? then, how sad would life be? I mean, it would mean that things like clothes, and hair, and money other earthly things really matter when you really think about it.
And I know you already know all this, and how not believing IS sad.

Just don't give up believing. If you give up, you know the consequences, but you know everything you could have if you would only believe! And God does give tests like that sometimes, and tests our faith, and it is hard, and I hope you realize that God really is there, and can help you. And I hope you don't realize it only when you want something, but when you actually want it.

speck said...


I really don't mean to rude or insulting, but you need to understand something...

When you come onto this site and attempt to give your best advise to the people that have lost their faith, it shows that you are lacking a certain understanding.

Would you try to board a train that has already shut it's doors and left the station? Of course not.

By the time someone gets to the point of submitting and having their personal testimony publish on this's just too late for them to go back to what they use to believe. It's kind of like "breaking up".

I know how sad this must make you feel. You see us as lost and confused. You really believe that yours words might help bring someone back to God.

That is really nice of you to care so much about people, but, this site is where you come when you have made a well thought out decision to change your beliefs.

All of the things you that you say to try and change our minds are thing that we have already thought long and seriously about.

People will always move away from things they change their minds about. You will experience times in your life when your beliefs will shift to. It's natural and normal.

The respectful thing to do is to allow others to make their own choices. Don't treat people who are different from you as if they are stupid, and they will do the same for you.

We can co-exist. What do you say?

WhateverLolaWants said...


It sounds like you mean well, and that's nice, but you're not helping.

"And I hope you don't realize it only when you want something, but when you actually want it."
I honestly don't even know what that means. When you want it is when you really want it. There's no difference, except maybe degree. Please clarify, b/c this doesn't make sense to me, and I'm generally considered an intelligent person.

"Just don't give up believing. If you give up, you know the consequences..."
Belief isn't just something you choose to do or not do. If you don't believe something and haven't been given sufficient evidence to do so, and you've honestly looked at the evidence and the situation as a whole, then it's not your fault. You can't just decide to believe, nor can you "fake it until you make it"- that just involves pushing aside legitimate doubts (intellectual and emotional).

The issue of "God giving us tests" has been discussed here many a time. I don't feel like getting into it now, b/c I have to take a shower, but just ponder why God would give us tests that could make us turn away and end up in hell. What parent would test their child's ability to avoid poison candy or an abductor-murderer? If they fail, they die.

Finally, you're using threatening language when you say "you know the consequences"- I assume you mean hell. Nice. Very nice. If you don't see what's unhelpful about that, then I recommend you do a little more reading around here and see where we're coming from.

Alright- that's all for now. Welcome to our site!

WhateverLolaWants said...


I agree with pretty much everything everyone else said (except Liza), so I won't reiterate it all. I do think it's awful that your friends would say something like that, though. I've heard similar things, and it's ultimately a very narrow-minded way to look at something so marvelous as life. They don't sound like great friends, even though I'm sure they weren't literally urging you to commit suicide.

Anyway, good luck. Time helps, I promise. Enjoy the time you have here on Earth, you know, b/c if it's all we get, it's worth valuing. :)

Archived Testimonial Pageviews the past 30 days