Born Again Atheist

sent in by Born Again Atheist

Hmmmmmmm, where do I begin? Shall I just ramble? Ok, then!

I was born and raised Catholic. I first read the Bible cover to cover as a young teenager, and was anti-catholic from then on. I still had to pretend, as I had no choice but to attend their voodoo rituals where their priests droned on and on until I fell asleep, bored out of my mind.

My upbringing was so conservative that TV was considered evil, and I grew up on a ranch in the middle of nowhere, so my only escape was walking around the desert and exploring, reading, and masturbating. (Recently I read Wilhelm Reich's "The Psychology of Fascism" where he states that total sexual purity causes religious feelings because the brain requires states of ecstacy and will invent them on its own if you don't pull on the lever - or press on the button - that it gave you for its own release, once in awhile. So THAT's why I never found the Lord!!)

ANYWAY, the "Reading" part is actually what "saved" me. I read National Geographic and the Encyclopedia and learned about the world as it is, without the biased gloss my catholic school upbringing unsuccessfully tried to instill in me. Having a very curious and observant nature helped a LOT. A natural tendency to keep to myself helped a lot, too.

I find it fascinating that people put so much emotional energy in trying to prove evolution 'wrong'. I have never read Darwin, the only real 'Skeptic' books I've read are Carl Sagan's "Demon Haunted World" and Michael Shermer's "Why People Believe Weird Things".

My proof of evolution is all around me. That people are glorified monkeys is so obvious to me that I can't comprehend why many doubt it, other than the emotional need to self-deify, I guess. An Alpha Monkey in the Sky may bring peace to the cowering Beta masses, huddling in tiny-minded fear of a huge, vast, cold, and dark universe; but I am utterly fascinated by the brilliant and amazing universe around me - from massive black holes, to magnetic fields producing auroras, to the soft curves of a woman's breast glistening with sweat and my saliva.

At any rate, I converted to Eastern Orthodoxy mainly because I was utterly fascinated by the Byzantine trappings and the pomposity of their rituals. Reading the Bible again, I noted that Christianity is only for a select few - those who have no sense of self in a human way, but are lost and lonely and scared and need a ghost to hug. Those who are so timid that they can 'love' and accept such a tyrant and, frankly, an asshole who says 'lick my boot or I will torture you forever bwa-ha-ha-ha!'. Fuck that!

I examined the occult for awhile, but all I found was the same mildewed minds searching for another spook in the sky that was not offered to them by the majority - one more personally chosen - so they could attach their elite nose into the sky-daddy's anus - so daddy will allow them to play in his sandbox for all eternity. Bleh...

Religion is based on the denial of reality - all things are food to/for something else, everything exists in order to die. Death is God in that sense. (That's where the Hindu - the Dance of Shiva/Shakti - comes in. It is a symbol of this process, although many - ok most - Hindus worship these processes as deities/beings in their own right, rather than accepting them for the iconic symbology that they attempt to represent.)

I say that if you really want to worship anything as a God, it should be the Sun. Light the Sacred Fire as the piece, or child, of God, and worship as its prophet. Let it speak to you of Entropy, of polarity and flow, of transendence from one manifestation of existence to another (like from Paper to Ash), the Beauty of Destruction and Construction, over and over again; as it is, was, and ever shall be, unto the ages of ages. Amen!!

Pasadena
CA
USA
Joined because: Born & raised
Left because: It has been a long process, started in 1992, cemented in 2005.
Was: Catholic, Greek & Russian Orthodox, Calvanist, Setian, Satanist, Hindu
Now: Atheist, semi-Hindu (yes there are atheist Hindus), Freak-Boy, Monkey-Boy
Converted because: Because I was so psycho-illogically fucked up from childhood Catholic S&M.
De-converted because: First I read the Bible cover to cover (well 3 times). Then I studied other religions. "They are all the same" doesn't necessarily make them all 'true', it just proves they all come from the same primitive monkey guesses borne of fear, ignorance, and explanations.
email: chrsstms at yahoo dot com