sent in by Max Furr In 1961, Bible class was an elective at my high school, and I, desirous to be counted among the faithful, faithfully elected to attend. In those early days, there was no doubt in my mind that God was in His heaven, that Adam and Eve begat human-kind, that a talking snake enticed Eve to disobey God, and that two representatives of every kind of animal on earth held first class tickets for a cruise aboard the Ark. There were no alternatives to these beliefs because there were no other religions offered, and biological evolution was never mentioned in general science or biology. It was poetic irony, then, that the first small crack in my theological armor came as a result of Bible study. Late one night as I was reading, somewhat randomly, through the Revised Standard Version, I came across Revelations 13:8 which stated: "And all the inhabitants of the earth shall worship it (the beast with seven heads and ten horns upon which were ten crowns), every one whose name...

sent in by Bill It took my wife leaving me to realize this. For years, I struggled with guilt. I was not what you could call an "active" Catholic, however, my upbringing was such that to not consider myself a Catholic was wrong, and to not follow the basic tenets of the Catholic church was a sin. When she left, I was completely devastated. I felt betrayed, and was putting my faith to the test. I thought that God would help me save my marriage. That was 25 pounds and several months of antidepressants ago. To make a long story short, she never came back, and I was left dealing with the guilt and shame of divorce, and with the idea that I couldn't be remarried in the church unless this marriage was annulled. Annulment! The definition of that is:The invalidation of a marriage, effected by means of a declaration stating that the marriage was never valid. To move on I would have to declare that my marriage was never real in the first place. How could I do that? It did happen, a...

sent in by Steve Lee My transformation from active mormon to exmormon gay atheist took just over two years. It's seems too easy to write that sentence now after experiencing some of the most challenging days I've ever faced. To even think about the fact that Mormonism might be slightly flawed was a mind-rattling sin, but to act upon thoughts of change was at first a seemingly fatal endeavor and ultimately the most freeing task ever undertaken. Most people agree that the LDS church leans more toward a cult than a loving religion, but most have no idea the depths of spiritual violence wrought upon a member when practicing it. And the difficulty of being born and raised into it, makes a change away from it even more fearful. Every support structure came from the church or my active family that had carefully programmed me to follow each and every expectation heaped upon me. From social limitations as a young man, to wielding their powerless "prietshood", to accepting...

sent in by a Texarkana man Before I delve into any story of my struggle to remove myself from the shackles of religion, I will introduce myself. I think it only prudent to do so. My name is Mitchell H, and I am a 20 year-old male living in the middle of the Bible-Belt in a relatively small town on the border of Arkansas and Texas. This area is infested with a horribly regressive conservative ethic which lends itself to mindless obedience and rampant intolerance, which is a central theme of my story. I am a gay man. I have known this in a certain capacity for all of my life. In early years, I knew I preferred the company of males and had an affinity for masculine beauty. When I was a child of about 6 years old and had just begun to attend school, I had a habit of attempting to kiss other boys on the playground. One day, after having kissed a fellow named Seth, the teacher called my parents to the school. Mom and Dad totally freaked out. I was pulled immediately from public s...

ST. GEORGE, Utah (AP) -- A St. George man described by police as a pastor and teacher at a private school, has been arrested and accused of sexually abusing an 11-year-old girl, who was a student at the school. Gabriel E. Carlin, 32, a teacher at East Harbor Christian Academy in Washington, was booked into Purgatory Correctional Facility on four counts of first-degree felony sexual abuse of a minor. He was being held on $100,000 bail. St. George police Sgt. Craig Harding said Carlin allegedly gave the girl a ride to her home from school and there allegedly was "some inappropriate touching involved. All touching was over the clothes, no clothes were removed." The alleged incident reportedly occurred during the last 30 days, and the girl's complaint was filed on March 9. Harding said the charges were enhanced from second- to first-degree felonies because of the position of trust Carlin holds. Details on Carlin's ecclesiastic position were not immediately available. Howe...

sent in by xrayman Despite the fact that I have been skeptical of God existing most of my life, at 43 I have sincerely tried to find God many times. I was an out of control alcoholic in my mid 20's. Many of my best friends also fell into serious alcohol addiction. Gary one of my oldest and dearest friends from childhood finally stopped drinking and found God. Almost over night he became a preachy born again Christian. I really wasn't too fond of his ways, yet he did succeed in putting the cork in the jug. I continued to drink heavily. He always said that Jesus was the way to overcome my addiction. At age 27 I was married with a small child when I finally hit a complete rock bottom. My drinking took me as low as a man could go. On a March night in 1991, I was alone in my house shaking uncontrollably in a pool of cold sweat, with the DT's. I had been drunk with a friend for a week straight. When the money ran out and the booze ran dry, I had the worst withdra...

sent in by Piprus I thought about not bothering with telling my evolution to unbelief, but then as a new poster I thought it might be better to at least introduce myself somehow. It's a boring uneventful story, no doubt shared by many others here. An evolution, not a revolution...a gradual process. I came from a small family. Two parents, two sons. My father, and his family were agnostics who never went to church, and didn't incorporate any religious beliefs into their activities or lifestyles. My mother's side was southern baptist, although my mother herself was very liberal and tolerant in her beliefs. She was never a regular churchgoer either. She was a "nominal" Christian. I was introduced to church and Sunday school by my maternal grandmother and aunt, at the age of 10. Well, when I got my head filled with a typical hellfire and brimstone sermon every Sunday, it wasn't long before I became so scared I might die "unsaved" and end up in he...

sent in by tigg13 I don't remember the first time I was told about the god of Abraham. His existence and that of Jesus always seemed to be a given fact - like Lincoln or Napoleon. The bible was just as trustworthy as a dictionary or an encyclopedia. I never heard anyone questioning Christianity in any way. The first church I ever attended was with my father, I couldn't have been more than 4 or 5 years old. All I really remember was a man in the front yelling and everyone else sitting quietly. Oh, and the round, mint candies I got for going. My mother's relatives didn't feel comfortable with me or my little brother going to that church, so they decided to take me to their church - a non-denominational Christian Fellowship, populated mostly (if not entirely) by people who were related to me. Church was as much about keeping up with (tabs on) other members of the family as it was about preaching the word of God. This was when I first started to ask questions...

sent in by Jeff Well, I've been reading through this site for some time now and I figured I might as well put up my anti-testimony — if not for anything else but my own sort of closure to Christianity. I was born and raised in a "uber-church" one of those gigantic churches that doesn't claim any denomination and people have to meet in small groups to even get any sort of community going. Anyway, I was a Bible-thumper from the get go. I remember being in 5th grade, bringing my bible and trying to convert people; I even had my own little hellfire speeches. This pretty much went on throughout my entire school years — I was always known as the Jesus freak or that crazy Jesus guy. This all changed though, and ironically enough, it happened when i joined the army. Once I went through basic training I was almost forced to meet with people of other views and to get along with them. I couldnt just start preaching to somebody, telling them their going to hell, because these wer...

sent in by Ray Was born and raised a catholic. Went to catholic school. Did the entire sacraments thing. But everything still felt false and hollow. A Baptist friend shared the gospel to me and I ended up being born again via a Bible study in our office back in 1986. I then joined a full gospel church. For 10 years, I was a hardcore fundie. I became music leader in our church, attended seminars, symposiums, held Bible studies, joined outreaches, left Chick tracts everywhere, I was on fire, as fundies would say. Then the cracks in the foundation started. The old Armenian-Calvinism controversy. That created a big division in our office Bible study. Whereas before, everyone attended the bible study, conservative protestants started shying away from it after that. It was painful for me because naively, I’ve always believed we were one family. Well, months later, the bible study ceased altogether. “Work of the devil,” my fundie friends would explain. And then, the church. Ou...

sent in by Clay So my name is Clay, and I'm 19 years old. I go to the University of Washington in Seattle. It's nice. Although I have moved to different areas my whole life, I don't actually remember going to church until I was about 7, right when we moved to a suburb outside of Dallas, Texas. My Dad was raised Catholic and my Mother Methodist, and it just seemed normal that I went to church with my family every Sunday. I went to sunday school, then the church service, and when I was old enough, the youth group. I was never big on religion and was definitely not big on going to church, but I just thought I had to believe in God and that was it, that's all religion was; I was never a hardcore Christian or anything like that. When I was 13 we moved to The Netherlands. It was a little surprising that my Mother didn't search out a church for us to attend, but I didn't give it much thought and just continued on with business as usual. I would later find out why she d...

sent in by Adam I was raised in what you could call "Medieval Catholicism". There was lots of emphasis on Hell, Purgatory, blood, sins of the flesh, penance. I sure wish I could have a "do over" of my younger years, because I spent those years scared and burdened with theological bs that a kid should not have to worry about. But my past is what it is, and now I am a better person because of it. Sometimes I think I can enjoy the present more because I am able to contrast it with the difficult past. Overall it would have been better to have a healthier, functional past, but if I had, perhaps I would not have the insight that I do now to help others. Sexuality was the deal-breaker for me in regards to christianity. The theology basically teaches that sex is a necessary evil, to be tolerated ONLY to procreate to make more catholic people. To the extent that I felt sexual, I'd feel guilt and far away from god. After many years of that I just finally decided that...

sent in by S.L. Nield I come from a family of pure Atheists! My Dad and Mum answered my childish questions 'what happens when you die?' With I believe unashamed and commendable honesty 'I don't know, but you do live on in the minds of those who love you'. 'Does Jesus love us all' 'If he did exist, I suppose he would'. When I got a bit older, I found myself gravitating to Biblegod and all his works! I got involved with some intense evangelical types (Yes, they exist across here) and due to personal circumstance, I reached out and found what I was looking for in them. At 17 I( gave my heart to the Lord, which (honestly)upset my Mum and Dad. My Dad, now dead, lectured me on how it was all pretense, kiddology, as he put it, and my Mum switched the living room light off and said, 'see, that's what happens to us when we die, we just disappear, like that light did'. Even my gentle Uncle shook his head and said, with great regret, 'how can yo...

sent in by Born Again Atheist Hmmmmmmm, where do I begin? Shall I just ramble? Ok, then! I was born and raised Catholic. I first read the Bible cover to cover as a young teenager, and was anti-catholic from then on. I still had to pretend, as I had no choice but to attend their voodoo rituals where their priests droned on and on until I fell asleep, bored out of my mind. My upbringing was so conservative that TV was considered evil, and I grew up on a ranch in the middle of nowhere, so my only escape was walking around the desert and exploring, reading, and masturbating. (Recently I read Wilhelm Reich's "The Psychology of Fascism" where he states that total sexual purity causes religious feelings because the brain requires states of ecstacy and will invent them on its own if you don't pull on the lever - or press on the button - that it gave you for its own release, once in awhile. So THAT's why I never found the Lord!!) ANYWAY, the "Reading" part is ac...

sent in by Bernard Fields "To all the varied peoples of the world, nothing is so out of reach, yet so deeply personal and controlling, as the concept of god. My experience in my homeland showed me little of these supernatural beings beyond the influences of the vile drow deity, the Spider Queen, Lloth. After witnessing the carnage of Lloth's workings, I was not so quick to embrace the concept of any god, of any being that could so dictate, codes of behavior and precepts of an entire society. Is morality not an internal force, and if it is, are principles to be then dictated or felt? So follows the question of the gods themselves: Are these named entities, in truth, actual beings, or are they manifestations of shared beliefs? Are the dark elves evil because they follow the precepts of the Spider Queen, or is Lloth a culmination of the drow's natural evil conduct? Likewise, when the barbarians of Icewind Dale charge across the tundra to war, shouting the name of Te...