Sent in by Donna
This site must be an answer to prayer. I was conceived and born into Seventh Day Adventism and have always suspected the rigidity of the religion coupled with the sterness of my father as having a repressive effect on who I was to become. And it did, but no longer.
Though there are many positive things that resulted from a strict religious upbringing, I always felt very sad inside many times, as if the song I was born to sing could not be sung or else I would certainly loose my soul.
My home was loving and my parents were most giving and great parents and I would not have chosen any other two people, as I now believe we all choose who we come to the earth by and that people do the best they can. But once my parents passed on, I was forced to look at my beliefs. Did I really believe the things I said I believed? And if so why did I believe them? Mostly I believed because that is what I had been taught and if I deared to question too deeply, it was strongly discouraged and I always had to be conscious of what others thought as well. So much so that it did not matter whether it made sense or not.
At 25, I began to search and follow mylife time's inner intuitive questionings. I have always had questions, but no one really answered them or I was told it's a mystery — we'll know when we get to heaven. Why Did God send the serpent in the Garden to tempt Adam and Even if He is all knowing? Why weren't there any people of color in any depiction of heaven or historical christian events?
Well, I cannot tell you how angry I was when I discovered that the image of Jesus I had been taught all my life was the son of God was actually the artist's model and that the books of the Bible were chosen by a Council and that King James was one of the most obnoxious persons in history. And that there were other writings which were not chosen. That Christianity suppresed the femine expression of the divine and on and on. Once I got over my anger I became greatful for the Universe providing answers to my questions and I began to de-condition myself from all of the "shoulds and should nots" which religion imposes on you and renders a most unhealth psyche and hypocritical way of life. I am still freeing myself but for the last 10 years I can say I have been the most free and especially the last 5.
I had told myself I would not call myself any man-made label but rather call myself a child of God and God being the unexplainable life providing and life giving force within all — not a man up in the sky.
I respect those who choose a religion to support them in life, but I have made peace with myself that I do not need any particular made made religious organization to guide my steps, for the divine exists inside of all of us if we would access it and the all the answers we need are right inside of us.
I have taken the shackles off my feet and now I am dancing!