sent in by Khash
I grew up in the Southern Baptist church. I didn't question it - it was life, reality, truth. How do you question truth? Well I didn't. I've always known I was gay but it wasn't a problem until I was an adolescent.
I fell in love with my youth pastor. I might be many things but dumb isn't one of them. I knew this was "wrong" but it felt right. I didn't expect him to return my passion, but nor did I think what I felt was wrong. I read the Bible cover to cover trying to find some way to heal myself - hey, God wrote it, there must be some hint in there somewhere...
Then I met a girl.... not exactly hollywood's idea - gay boy meets girl. But it worked. She knew the Bible better than I did. And she was smarter than me. And when I came out to her, she said "Oh for Pete's sake, just give it up! You wanna fuck men, then fuck men! You worship this god who insisted that his son be tortured to death and then obsess about giving another man pleasure. I think the ethical choice here is pretty clear. Think about it!"
She was right. I tried lots of religions, including atheism. I ended up with Wicca. But I don't take it seriously in the sense of most religions. I don't believe in a Great Goddess in the Sky. For me it's just a shorthand way of describing reality - a form of poetry, perhaps.
I no longer think in terms of right and wrong or good and evil, instead I think about how my acts actually affect other people. Ethics rather than morality.
Became a Christian: I was born into it
Ceased being a Christian: How old were you when you ceased being a christian?
Labels before: What churches or organizations or labels have applied to you? Southern Baptist, now I'm Wiccan but only consider it a metaphor
Labels now: Gay pagan sadomasochist
Why I joined: Why did you become a christian?
No choice, I was raised that way
Why I left: Why did you deconvert?
Why did I deconvert? Um, good sense?
Email Address: khashka at ev1 dot net
Online Reading List
- An Outline of Intellectual Rubbish by Bertrand Russell (1943)
- Bible Teaching and Religious Practice by Mark Twain
- God is Imaginary
- Is there an Artificial God? by Douglas Adams (1998)
- Skeptics Annotated Bible
- The Age of Reason by Thomas Paine (1795)
- Which Way? by Robert Ingersoll (1884).
- Why I Am Not A Christian by Bertrand Russell (1927)