A Truth Seeker

By Chole’ Tiscornia

After I made the decision as an adult to become a fundamentalist Christian I thought I had found “The Truth.” It was, I believed, the truth about life, about child rearing, about God and what he wants for all his Children. I thought the Bible was infallible and I sought to learn every part of it so that I could understand God, follow him forever, and help everyone I knew turn to him and have salvation. I did not expect to leave him. I did not expect to learn what I learned, but because I was always seeking “The Truth,” I let myself learn the truth. After eight years I found a different kind of truth.

I am no longer a Christian for a great many reasons but for the sake of time I will try to render a complete yet brief explanation for my recent recovery from Christianity. The first reason I am no longer a Christian is because I have found none of the so-called prophecies in the Old Testament to be worthy of being called a Prophesy. I find nothing prophetic in the Old Testament whatsoever. There is nothing prophetic about Jesus or life, as we know it. A Prophesy is a prediction. The Old Testament is filled, at least half of it, with slaughters and killings and historical accounts of people. The writers of the New Testament, in effort to maintain that Jesus was a Jewish procurement of the Old Testament – try in vein to connect him with the God of the Jews. In each instance, the so-called prophesy either falls short by half fulfillment, erroneous fulfillment, or none whatsoever. I concur with Thomas Paine who said the Prophesies are false.

I am no longer a Christian because I do not believe the Bible is the infallible, inerrant Word of God. I believe it is a book written by men who wanted to believe God was with them, who set out to record their history with their God, but that it is no more a proof that God exists than the testimonies of people today who say they saw an angel or who are pregnant by immaculate conception. Since the Bible’s inception, the Christian Priests have maintained that the Bible is true in all ways. As time and science have proven many aspects of the Bible to be fallible, the Church relenting in its presumptions that the Sun does not revolve around the Earth and other matters, for instance, still maintains that everything spiritual is correct. Yet in my Church, people did not receive gifts of the Holy Spirit, yet in Pentecostal Churches they do. The fact that so many people, well meaning people have misunderstood very important aspects of the Bible, like how one is actually saved, shows that the Bible god does not know how to communicate with his own people. If he created us he knows how we think. It is ludicrous that there are thousands of interpretations of the Bible. For anyone to still say that they have it right and 99.9% of the rest of Christians are stupid is equally illogical.

I am no longer a Christian because I cannot be associated with such an evil God as the one of the Bible. God is supposed to be omnipotent and omniscient, knowing everything, yet his solutions to his problems are dealt with like a child. It is clear that God’s limitations are simply ancient Palestinians methods for dealing with enemies. Even for God to send his son to die a crucifixion is deplorable. There are so many other ways to talk to humans like literally talking to us. God’s bait and switch tactics are juvenile. He makes great promises to people, like Moses and Joshua, then reneges time and time again. The Bible says it’s sin that makes God change his mind, but according to the Bible all man’s thoughts are always wicked so why is he always surprised when we fall short of total obedience? If I promise my rebellious child that no matter what, we will go to the movies tomorrow, then he misbehaves and I say, “Now we can’t go,” that is a lie. Knowing the rebellious nature of my child I would say, “If you behave, we will go to the movies.” God doesn’t have the foresight for such things. God can’t even communicate how we are to come about salvation. God makes life hard for Christians by making them be subject to him for life, and if they don’t, they will burn in eternal damnation. However, no Christian I have ever met can tell me exactly who is going to Heaven and who isn’t. Even on my worst day I would not wish my children to burn in damnation even if they left me, ran away from home or committed a crime. Whatever happens to them is sufficient in this lifetime. How petty God is to set up hell in the first place.

I am no longer a Christian because I do not believe the miracles in the Bible happened. I do not believe the resurrection or many other fabulous stories that defy the very intricate nature our creator already bestowed us with. DNA and chromosomes, cells and organs are magnificent. They are intricate and exact. To defy those parameters is not only unnecessary, but also sloppy. Only humans dream of floating gods and talking clouds. Being born of a deity was commonplace in ancient civilizations. Julius Caesar was said to have documentation that proved he was the son of Venus and Cleopatra claimed to be the daughter of Isis. These two were born within the same century as Jesus. It seems it was in vogue to claim a deity as a parent.

Only ancient humans think dreams are prophetic. Our current civilization knows better. I do not pay attention to my dreams as far as accuracy and predictability go, nor do I have to believe the testimony of someone else who claims in their dream God appeared. The truth is, most of the people who lived in the times of the New Testament did not believe the miracles either. Jesus’ birth did not happen the way the writers said – if so, everyone would have believed in him. The bible uses a flimsy excuse why the people in Jesus’ own hometown won’t accept him as God’s prophet, let alone his son. If his birth came with such pomp and circumstance, if he really was the messiah, people would not have forgotten his birth. They would have been following him from day one. Jesus supposedly fed over 8,000 people with a few fish, yet he only had a few hundred followers at the time of his death. No, the miracles did not happen.

I am no longer a Christian because I have regained my sense of thought, reason, and logic which was suspended for the sake of faith. I do not believe in propagating the cause of Christianity with money, I do believe there are better ways to spend my money. I believe if it were not for Atheists, we would not have painters, sculptures, doctors, scientists, etc. because the Bible prohibits any science outside of religion, and at least one of the Ten Commandments clearly warns against art. If we all believed only in the Bible we would still believe that eczema and depression, epilepsy and the like are the result of demon possession. I do not believe in sin therefore I do not need to be forgiven. I do not believe God hears us now, I believe all those times I prayed I was talking to myself. If talking to yourself makes a difference in your life, then I do not judge.

I do not believe in the fabulous story in the Bible that all of people’s languages were a result of God confusing a great many people who were building the Tower of Babel. Does anyone really believe that some few 6,000 years ago – everyone was living in Palestine and spoke one language but God confused them so they spoke differently and then they all migrated to other continents before inter-continent travel was even heard of, and settled new colonies based on their 10,000 different languages? I was always taught I needed to believe the whole Bible and not just parts. I do not have to believe what any person tells me to believe. With my own intellect I reason the tower of Babel story is full of babble.

I do not believe in Heaven or Hell because it does not exist. I do not believe in the soul because it also does not exist. If it does, where is it? Is it in my hand? Is it in my head? It can’t be in my heart because it is an organ that pumps blood and oxygen through my body, therefore it does not feel or think. When we die, all our cells die. Our neurons in our brains fail to work – in essence we are unplugged from life. We know for a fact that corpses decay and nothing except bones are left in a burial and most people are cremated, so where is this soul and where does it live until Heaven appears? When I break it all down it is clear this is a myth perpetuated and believed because people want to believe there is more to life than there is. Desire does not make it true, no matter how sincere the desire is.

And finally, I am no longer a Christian because I can not believe a God still exists that would allow so many people to live and die without ever having known Jesus, thereby having the opportunity to go to Heaven, thus going straight to Hell. I believe if a God did still exist with the power so many Christians grant him no innocent child or human being would be allowed to suffer in domestic abuse situations or molestation or kidnapping and death. A loving God would spare those completely innocent of the crime bestowed upon them and allow only the guilty to suffer such atrocities.

State: California

Became a Christian: 33

Ceased being a Christian: 41

Labels before: Non denominational Christian

Labels now: Freethinker

Why I joined: Wanted something stable to worship

Why I left: Maturation

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