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Trying to find peace in my soul

sent in by Thomas I was born into a evangelical family. I became a Christian at age 12, it was an enormous relief after years of being desperate to know I was a Christian and no longer facing hell. Through my teenage years I was 100% convinced and read the Bible every day. I was persecuted at school for my faith but always turned the other cheek when beaten up, which was not a very successful strategy. At Univerisity I was president of the Christian Union and led the "mission" to promote Christianity to the lost students. Nothing made me happier than seeing people come to faith and find salvation. I married very young, believing it was better to marry early rather than risk falling into sin. We attended Church early in our marriage 5 or 6 times a week. The first tremor to shake my faith was a few years later when I found out that the leader I most respected in the church had been committing not just a sordid sin but something that was criminal as well. Furthermore the pastor ...

Trying to find peace in my soul

sent in by Thomas I was born into a evangelical family. I became a Christian at age 12, it was an enormous relief after years of being desperate to know I was a Christian and no longer facing hell. Through my teenage years I was 100% convinced and read the Bible every day. I was persecuted at school for my faith but always turned the other cheek when beaten up, which was not a very successful strategy. At Univerisity I was president of the Christian Union and led the "mission" to promote Christianity to the lost students. Nothing made me happier than seeing people come to faith and find salvation. I married very young, believing it was better to marry early rather than risk falling into sin. We attended Church early in our marriage 5 or 6 times a week. The first tremor to shake my faith was a few years later when I found out that the leader I most respected in the church had been committing not just a sordid sin but something that was criminal as well. Furthermore the pastor ...

On the eve of my ex-Christianity

sent in by anonymous Practically from day one, I have been brainwashed by Christian schooling. Oh, I don't doubt that they had nothing but the best intentions, but that is beside the point. I went to a Christian elementary school, where I thought I had become saved at a very early age. There was however no joy or feeling of the spirit, etc...a fact which later caused me accept countless more salvations. Saved, not saved, saved, not saved....Let's not even go into the Tulip Principle. After elementary school, I (and of my own decision,unfortunatly) went to another Christian school. The former was Lutheran, this was Mennonite based, but really was a collection of the individual beliefs of each teacher. Upon arrival I noticed the startling difference in their worship,(you know...sappy, emotional music, hands raised, prayers said under the breath. The kind of stuff that sucks you in...you know) and had strong feelings of guilt that I was unable to share their enthusiasm or...

On the eve of my ex-Christianity

sent in by anonymous Practically from day one, I have been brainwashed by Christian schooling. Oh, I don't doubt that they had nothing but the best intentions, but that is beside the point. I went to a Christian elementary school, where I thought I had become saved at a very early age. There was however no joy or feeling of the spirit, etc...a fact which later caused me accept countless more salvations. Saved, not saved, saved, not saved....Let's not even go into the Tulip Principle. After elementary school, I (and of my own decision,unfortunatly) went to another Christian school. The former was Lutheran, this was Mennonite based, but really was a collection of the individual beliefs of each teacher. Upon arrival I noticed the startling difference in their worship,(you know...sappy, emotional music, hands raised, prayers said under the breath. The kind of stuff that sucks you in...you know) and had strong feelings of guilt that I was unable to share their enthusiasm or...

Tickets for eternity cancelled!

sent in by Ryan I have been educating myself on this forum for several months now. I must say, I have learned so much from everyone on this website and I truly appreciate the inspiration and comfort I receive. To begin with, I was raised from day one into the Southern Baptist dogma and culture. I was always taught the Baptists had the right way and no others. Catholics? Going to Hell! I can remember as young as seven being stricken with fear as the preacher asked all the saved people of our church to come forward in the altar area to fellowship. My mother had informed me beforehand that I would not be going forward because I was not “saved” yet. Well, when everyone went forward I thought I was going to hell, not to mention I had the deepest sense of being abandoned by my family, sitting alone in the pew. As you can imagine, I bawled like a baby. I guess the preacher thought I was being a repentant sinner, so he took me aside afterwards to ascertain whether I understood t...

Tickets for eternity cancelled!

sent in by Ryan I have been educating myself on this forum for several months now. I must say, I have learned so much from everyone on this website and I truly appreciate the inspiration and comfort I receive. To begin with, I was raised from day one into the Southern Baptist dogma and culture. I was always taught the Baptists had the right way and no others. Catholics? Going to Hell! I can remember as young as seven being stricken with fear as the preacher asked all the saved people of our church to come forward in the altar area to fellowship. My mother had informed me beforehand that I would not be going forward because I was not “saved” yet. Well, when everyone went forward I thought I was going to hell, not to mention I had the deepest sense of being abandoned by my family, sitting alone in the pew. As you can imagine, I bawled like a baby. I guess the preacher thought I was being a repentant sinner, so he took me aside afterwards to ascertain whether I understood t...

My wife lost her faith

sent in by Luke A cousin of mine used to go out and get drunk every single weekend. After a tough week at work he liked nothing better than to let loose and go wild on the weekend. Stress relief is what he called it. When his wife got pregnant with their first child he regretfully decided that his drunken weekends had to come to an end. He was surprised to learn that he not only enjoyed spending his weekends at home or going out and having a couple of quiet drinks but he preferred it to getting drunk. He hasn't been drunk once since then. That is how I felt before losing my faith. I thought life would be meaningless without belief. I couldn't fathom not having God during difficult times. I thought that nonbelievers must lack a moral compass and that their lives must be very empty. Like my cousin, I realised I didn't need a drug to be happy and to have hope and meaning in my life. Six months after I got married my wife dropped a bombshell. She had been struggling with her fa...

My wife lost her faith

sent in by Luke A cousin of mine used to go out and get drunk every single weekend. After a tough week at work he liked nothing better than to let loose and go wild on the weekend. Stress relief is what he called it. When his wife got pregnant with their first child he regretfully decided that his drunken weekends had to come to an end. He was surprised to learn that he not only enjoyed spending his weekends at home or going out and having a couple of quiet drinks but he preferred it to getting drunk. He hasn't been drunk once since then. That is how I felt before losing my faith. I thought life would be meaningless without belief. I couldn't fathom not having God during difficult times. I thought that nonbelievers must lack a moral compass and that their lives must be very empty. Like my cousin, I realised I didn't need a drug to be happy and to have hope and meaning in my life. Six months after I got married my wife dropped a bombshell. She had been struggling with her fa...

Freedom to be me

sent in by Jo Well the only religious family member I have is my gran. She is a God fearing Catholic. She forced my brother, cousin and I to go to church every Sunday with her from a very early age. We were told that there was a man sitting at the back who was watching us to make sure we were being good. I hated church, though eventually when I was about 8 the brainwashing paid off and I became a good Christian. But something at the back of my mind was niggling me. It kept questioning what the priest would say. I later became Church of England as it was less demanding than Catholicism. But one sermon angered me. The Rev. told us that we were not individuals but we were one. He kept repeating how we were not individuals. Was he on drugs or something? How can we not be individual? If we were not we would be a mass of pink goo slurping and making weird fart noises as we move as one being! I came across a website which states all of the evil things in the bible that the Christian god has d...

Freedom to be me

sent in by Jo Well the only religious family member I have is my gran. She is a God fearing Catholic. She forced my brother, cousin and I to go to church every Sunday with her from a very early age. We were told that there was a man sitting at the back who was watching us to make sure we were being good. I hated church, though eventually when I was about 8 the brainwashing paid off and I became a good Christian. But something at the back of my mind was niggling me. It kept questioning what the priest would say. I later became Church of England as it was less demanding than Catholicism. But one sermon angered me. The Rev. told us that we were not individuals but we were one. He kept repeating how we were not individuals. Was he on drugs or something? How can we not be individual? If we were not we would be a mass of pink goo slurping and making weird fart noises as we move as one being! I came across a website which states all of the evil things in the bible that the Christian god has d...

Faith No More

sent in by Michael I was raised in a family that talked more about hell than God. Religion was all about the devil and how he was always watching you and was going to get you. I was told that the end of the world was coming an that I shouldnt worry about growing up because the end was coming, and most likely I was gong to go to hell instead of heaven. When I was around 15 several of my cousins were "saved", and began talking to me about it. They went home after they were saved and threw away all their rock albums, including rare ones that are today worth very much. Well, I bought into their rhetoric and got "saved". But, I still didnt throw away my albums, that was NEVER gonna happen. I began reading the bible, and going to prayer meetings and such. I always felt like I didnt belong, but I went anyway because I thought it would score me brownie points with THE BIG GUY LOL. There was all this talk about how gods work could be seen, and that the devil was at wo...

Faith No More

sent in by Michael I was raised in a family that talked more about hell than God. Religion was all about the devil and how he was always watching you and was going to get you. I was told that the end of the world was coming an that I shouldnt worry about growing up because the end was coming, and most likely I was gong to go to hell instead of heaven. When I was around 15 several of my cousins were "saved", and began talking to me about it. They went home after they were saved and threw away all their rock albums, including rare ones that are today worth very much. Well, I bought into their rhetoric and got "saved". But, I still didnt throw away my albums, that was NEVER gonna happen. I began reading the bible, and going to prayer meetings and such. I always felt like I didnt belong, but I went anyway because I thought it would score me brownie points with THE BIG GUY LOL. There was all this talk about how gods work could be seen, and that the devil was at wo...

I’m not afraid, my whole life ,thus far, has been a long bumpy road

sent in by Craig I guess it’s my turn, to share my testimony with you all. I wasn’t going to at first, but after reading so many of them, and realizing how much they have helped me in this difficult era of my life, I feel obligated to share my own story in hopes that it will encourage others. Unfortunately, like many others (testimonies), this too desires to be too long. I promise to make every effort to keep it tame. My wife and I moved to Colorado in the fall of ‘96, and after some shuffling around due to job promotions and such, we landed in a quiet, medium sized town the fall of ‘98. My wife, being the social butterfly that she is, began making acquaintances, all of whom, were very nice. I didn’t find out until later that they were Christians and all of them belonged to the same church. It wasn’t long before they started inviting us to different church functions and ultimately, we became exposed to the gospel message, which we both fell for. My excitement and enthusiasm for the ...

I’m not afraid, my whole life ,thus far, has been a long bumpy road

sent in by Craig I guess it’s my turn, to share my testimony with you all. I wasn’t going to at first, but after reading so many of them, and realizing how much they have helped me in this difficult era of my life, I feel obligated to share my own story in hopes that it will encourage others. Unfortunately, like many others (testimonies), this too desires to be too long. I promise to make every effort to keep it tame. My wife and I moved to Colorado in the fall of ‘96, and after some shuffling around due to job promotions and such, we landed in a quiet, medium sized town the fall of ‘98. My wife, being the social butterfly that she is, began making acquaintances, all of whom, were very nice. I didn’t find out until later that they were Christians and all of them belonged to the same church. It wasn’t long before they started inviting us to different church functions and ultimately, we became exposed to the gospel message, which we both fell for. My excitement and enthusiasm for the ...

I was a blood-bought, born-again, Bible-believing Christian

sent in by Blue Heron My xtimony could be very, very long if I covered every negative thing about my xtian life, but I will make it as short as I can. I apologize for the loooong sentences I’ve used in some of it too. This deconversion is all VERY recent for me, and unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. My mind has been trying to process it all, and the fact that I’ve been connected to the Matrix all my life, only just now getting unplugged and experiencing a world vastly different that I’ve been missing. I just turned 32. My whole life was steeped in Christianity. I regret all the years of turmoil, fear, guilt and anguish over the religion (or “relationship” as xtians say). But, I can’t go back and change it, only learn from it and move on. By the way, for all you Christians reading, I was a blood-bought, born-again, Bible-believing Christian with the “lord jesus christ” as my “only savior”. Let there be no saying that I wasn’t really “saved”. The Bible has to be the most mix...