sent in by Michael
I was raised in a family that talked more about hell than God.
Religion was all about the devil and how he was always watching you and was
going to get you. I was told that the end of the world was coming an
that I shouldnt worry about growing up because the end was coming, and
most likely I was gong to go to hell instead of heaven.
When I was around 15 several of my cousins were "saved", and began
talking to me about it. They went home after they were saved and threw
away all their rock albums, including rare ones that are today worth very
much. Well, I bought into their rhetoric and got "saved". But, I
still didnt throw away my albums, that was NEVER gonna happen.
I began reading the bible, and going to prayer meetings and such. I
always felt like I didnt belong, but I went anyway because I thought it
would score me brownie points with THE BIG GUY LOL. There was all this
talk about how gods work could be seen, and that the devil was at work
against all christians. I personally only saw the results of ones own
work, not gods. And as for the devil, he seemed like a scapegoat.
After highschool I experimented with buddhism, hinduism, and just about
every other "ism" that exists. All fell short of truth and all seemed
empty and silly.
I eventually came to the conclusion that belief in any diety was just
primitive superstition, and sorry to say, just plain ignorance.
I would always pray to god for increases in my natural talent for
playing guitar, and people would say "Wow, God really blessed you with an
amazing talent". Now I say"Actually 22 years of insane study and
practice gave me this talent". I waited for god to show up at my doorstep for
years with answers, only to open it and find the paper boy!!
The truth for me is: There is no promised Utopia of heaven, and there
is no eternal damnation of hell. I see only the reality of what is:
There is beauty, there is hatred, there is peace of mind, and there is
brooding discontent. All these polarities exist, and the promise of
some kind of devine intervention, a second coming seems so childish and
unbelievable. If only christians could see how they are wasting their
lives waiting for their savior. Hes never going to come, and Im not
waiting. I believe in the strength of humanity, that we are strong and
heroic beings capable of our own "saving".(yes I am influenced by ayn
I have this to say as words of encouragement to newbies in the area:
Deprogramming takes time. You will find yourself praying at times,
saying "thank god" etc. You will also miss the community of "believers".
But remember "The truth shall setyou free!" The truth is: God is a
lie. Thats the truth, and I will bask in that freedom instead of trying
to live up to some impossible standard of morals and behavior.
And think about this too in your ponderings: God supposedly gave us
free will, right? Well, read Genesis and youll see otherwise. He gave
Adam and Eve the choice after their "fall". He basically said "You can
choose either obedience to me, or you can choose death." Some choice
huh? That doesnt sound like free will to me. The bible is a book FULL
of contradictions and such. Truth is knowledge my friends, and I
choose to eat the fruit of its tree. I will risk death and eternal
separation from god. Oh wait, there is no god. You know why I know that? I
ate the fruit from the tree of knowledge, and it gave me the truth that
god feared in the garden: We dont need him.
I was 15 when I became a christian
I ceased being christian at various points along the line, but stopped
for good now
I have been born again, involved with mostly non-denominational type
Now I am a Strong Atheist
Converted because I was afraid of hell
De-converted because I was living in hell because I believed all the right-wing garbage
email: guitargeek1986 at aol dot com
Online Reading List
- An Outline of Intellectual Rubbish by Bertrand Russell (1943)
- Bible Teaching and Religious Practice by Mark Twain
- God is Imaginary
- Is there an Artificial God? by Douglas Adams (1998)
- Skeptics Annotated Bible
- The Age of Reason by Thomas Paine (1795)
- Which Way? by Robert Ingersoll (1884).
- Why I Am Not A Christian by Bertrand Russell (1927)