sent in by anonymous I became a Christian when I was five. I recently turned 30 and am trying to finally leave it...and all of the happy fake people. But I'm struggling; not because I miss church, or miss the people; I don't miss the guilt and the confusion, or feeling terrible about simple things, like loving hip-hop or dancing or trying to figure out how to have a balanced view about sexuality. I miss, miss, miss God. I miss looking out at the mountains or the sun and feeling connected with some being that orders it. I miss the idea of someone who invented love, and could do it better than parents or people. The strange thing is that I've met more Christians that are dysfunctional, have no connections to reality, are closed people than not. I don't want to be bitter; feeling that Christianity fails you is like feeling betrayed -- I understand the bitterness and anger. Feeling vulnerable, opening up your heart and spending years involved in something that doesn...

sent in by anonymous I became a Christian when I was five. I recently turned 30 and am trying to finally leave it...and all of the happy fake people. But I'm struggling; not because I miss church, or miss the people; I don't miss the guilt and the confusion, or feeling terrible about simple things, like loving hip-hop or dancing or trying to figure out how to have a balanced view about sexuality. I miss, miss, miss God. I miss looking out at the mountains or the sun and feeling connected with some being that orders it. I miss the idea of someone who invented love, and could do it better than parents or people. The strange thing is that I've met more Christians that are dysfunctional, have no connections to reality, are closed people than not. I don't want to be bitter; feeling that Christianity fails you is like feeling betrayed -- I understand the bitterness and anger. Feeling vulnerable, opening up your heart and spending years involved in something that doesn...

sent in by Caligula I was born Roman Catholic. Now I know a lot of the fundies tend to think Catholics are evil…which I find to be much like the Ku Klux Klan calling the skinheads racists. Nevertheless, for those who don’t know, its extremely boring, mass is a like an hour long sleeping pill….and the communion crackers are like cardboard….if they gave out Oreos or something like that….maybe I would have stayed. My parents used to drag us to church every Sunday as well as on Christmas. So I grew up believing the usual God and Jesus stuff. One day, my parents decided to send me to Sunday school. The problem was, this Sunday school wasn’t even a catholic one, it was protestant. ( we still laugh about that to this day ) So I go...maybe twice and they literally had to drag me kicking and screaming. I didn’t pay much attention to what they said, the only thing I really remember, is they took a collection… ( yes…they took a collection of money from a bunch of 7 year olds) I notic...

sent in by Caligula I was born Roman Catholic. Now I know a lot of the fundies tend to think Catholics are evil…which I find to be much like the Ku Klux Klan calling the skinheads racists. Nevertheless, for those who don’t know, its extremely boring, mass is a like an hour long sleeping pill….and the communion crackers are like cardboard….if they gave out Oreos or something like that….maybe I would have stayed. My parents used to drag us to church every Sunday as well as on Christmas. So I grew up believing the usual God and Jesus stuff. One day, my parents decided to send me to Sunday school. The problem was, this Sunday school wasn’t even a catholic one, it was protestant. ( we still laugh about that to this day ) So I go...maybe twice and they literally had to drag me kicking and screaming. I didn’t pay much attention to what they said, the only thing I really remember, is they took a collection… ( yes…they took a collection of money from a bunch of 7 year olds) I notic...

sent in by Edwin Wollet Like a lot of people, I was born into the shit. The early years were particularly mindnumbing, since my parents (and therefore myself) were charismatic Christians, washed in His blood, anointed, etc. We would do the speaking in tongues bit and the falling down (slain in the spirit) and the anointing of heads with oil. Then we switched to the Catholic church. Different style, same substance. "Jesus Christ died on a cross for your sins. You are a sinner. The only way to get to heaven is through complete obedience to Jesus Christ." What a load of guilt-ridden crap. But, coming from a small, Midwestern town, that's the norm. I heard about atheism (and agnosticism) in college, but did not give it much credence. There was no way that there wasn't a god, it just could not be true. Then, I graduated and went to work. Most of my friends turned out to be Atheists. By this time, my family had become liberal-minded Christians (i.e....

sent in by Edwin Wollet Like a lot of people, I was born into the shit. The early years were particularly mindnumbing, since my parents (and therefore myself) were charismatic Christians, washed in His blood, anointed, etc. We would do the speaking in tongues bit and the falling down (slain in the spirit) and the anointing of heads with oil. Then we switched to the Catholic church. Different style, same substance. "Jesus Christ died on a cross for your sins. You are a sinner. The only way to get to heaven is through complete obedience to Jesus Christ." What a load of guilt-ridden crap. But, coming from a small, Midwestern town, that's the norm. I heard about atheism (and agnosticism) in college, but did not give it much credence. There was no way that there wasn't a god, it just could not be true. Then, I graduated and went to work. Most of my friends turned out to be Atheists. By this time, my family had become liberal-minded Christians (i.e....

sent in by Jason Well, here it goes! I really don’t know where to start as it has been such a crazy journey. Since I always started my Christian testimony this way, I guess I will tell you guys that I was not raised in a Christian home or in any religion for that matter. Religion was not talked about and it was not necessary. Life was fine without all the god talk. However at the age of 21 I got married. We were both young. She was 20. She did have some understanding of Christianity and she shared her beliefs with me, but it was not something that controlled our relationship. During our short lived marriage, we visited several non denominational churches. It was good for us. We would go, listen to the sermons, maybe throw a little money in the plate, and then go home. It made us feel like better people. We just figured, hey people grow up, get married, and go to church..right? So we went evey so often. I wasn’t even sure if I believed in god and the church that ...

sent in by Jason Well, here it goes! I really don’t know where to start as it has been such a crazy journey. Since I always started my Christian testimony this way, I guess I will tell you guys that I was not raised in a Christian home or in any religion for that matter. Religion was not talked about and it was not necessary. Life was fine without all the god talk. However at the age of 21 I got married. We were both young. She was 20. She did have some understanding of Christianity and she shared her beliefs with me, but it was not something that controlled our relationship. During our short lived marriage, we visited several non denominational churches. It was good for us. We would go, listen to the sermons, maybe throw a little money in the plate, and then go home. It made us feel like better people. We just figured, hey people grow up, get married, and go to church..right? So we went evey so often. I wasn’t even sure if I believed in god and the church that ...

sent in by Ian I was not born into a Christian home. Quite the contrary. I was born into an abusive household with heroin addicts for parents. My biological father was a Japanese immigrant who was never there, and when he was there, he beat the shit out of me. My biological mother was also guilty of this. It was common place for my mother to burn me with cigarette butts, or to beat me within an inch of my life. My sister was born when I was but 3 years old. Since my biological mother was too busy shooting up dope to take care of us, we usually went without food. Most of the time we wouldn't have electricity. One year later, at the age of 4, after more abuse and hospital visits, the State stepped in and took me and my sister out of the house. We were bounced from foster home to foster home for a while, and were finally placed in a home with parents that weren't going to beat the shit out of us. I was about 6 at this time. The family my sister and I were staying with we...

sent in by Ian I was not born into a Christian home. Quite the contrary. I was born into an abusive household with heroin addicts for parents. My biological father was a Japanese immigrant who was never there, and when he was there, he beat the shit out of me. My biological mother was also guilty of this. It was common place for my mother to burn me with cigarette butts, or to beat me within an inch of my life. My sister was born when I was but 3 years old. Since my biological mother was too busy shooting up dope to take care of us, we usually went without food. Most of the time we wouldn't have electricity. One year later, at the age of 4, after more abuse and hospital visits, the State stepped in and took me and my sister out of the house. We were bounced from foster home to foster home for a while, and were finally placed in a home with parents that weren't going to beat the shit out of us. I was about 6 at this time. The family my sister and I were staying with we...

sent in by Cj I posted a testimony here a while back, but I still feel like I haven't fully left Christianity. I want to but I can't admit to myself that so much of my life was so false and pointless, as well as the people. I miss my Christian friends, and my community, and I want to be accepted and loved by them again, but I don't even think I believe that they are real friends. Since my deconversion I've been so depressed and insecure. I feel like all my security and hope died when I gave up on Jesus. I believed before that I had a relationship with him, but I just can't believe anymore. I've read endless essays, books and articles on this subject, which just convince me Christianity isn't true, but I so desperately want to believe that it is true. A couple of months ago I was feeling suicidal and very confused so I thought i'd go back to a Christian group I used to belong to, full of young people like myself. I thought they could help m...

sent in by Cj I posted a testimony here a while back, but I still feel like I haven't fully left Christianity. I want to but I can't admit to myself that so much of my life was so false and pointless, as well as the people. I miss my Christian friends, and my community, and I want to be accepted and loved by them again, but I don't even think I believe that they are real friends. Since my deconversion I've been so depressed and insecure. I feel like all my security and hope died when I gave up on Jesus. I believed before that I had a relationship with him, but I just can't believe anymore. I've read endless essays, books and articles on this subject, which just convince me Christianity isn't true, but I so desperately want to believe that it is true. A couple of months ago I was feeling suicidal and very confused so I thought i'd go back to a Christian group I used to belong to, full of young people like myself. I thought they could help m...

sent in by Tim My name is Tim. This is my de-conversion story. Prepare to be sickened! One day, my live-in girlfriend (now my wife) suggested we go to this local church she and her family attended in her youth. (she stopped at age 17) It was this church's 25th anniversary and her mother (devout xtian) invited us to the sunday service. (At this point, the only exposure I had to xtianity was a few years of being dragged to services at a seventh-day adventist church twice a month by my grandmother when I was between the ages of 4-7.) At age 30, I knew absolutely nothing about the bible or church. So, I decided why not. Hey, it'll probably score points with my girlfriends mom, right? And maybe it will make me a better person. So, off we went. What was coming from the pulpit was unlike anything I had ever heard. In just under an hour, I had the full gospel message preached to me from adam to revelation with conviction , much enthusiasm (holy ghost power!). I met a f...

sent in by Tim My name is Tim. This is my de-conversion story. Prepare to be sickened! One day, my live-in girlfriend (now my wife) suggested we go to this local church she and her family attended in her youth. (she stopped at age 17) It was this church's 25th anniversary and her mother (devout xtian) invited us to the sunday service. (At this point, the only exposure I had to xtianity was a few years of being dragged to services at a seventh-day adventist church twice a month by my grandmother when I was between the ages of 4-7.) At age 30, I knew absolutely nothing about the bible or church. So, I decided why not. Hey, it'll probably score points with my girlfriends mom, right? And maybe it will make me a better person. So, off we went. What was coming from the pulpit was unlike anything I had ever heard. In just under an hour, I had the full gospel message preached to me from adam to revelation with conviction , much enthusiasm (holy ghost power!). I met a f...

sent in by Riley J BORN INTO CHRISTIANITY I was born into Mormonism. My mother’s parents were Jehovah’s Witnesses. My mother was disowned for turning to Mormonism after leaving an abusive home. I’m not sure if she was abused or not. People make up those things to get pity or demonize others for not getting love. My parents were never there for me. They were never there for themselves as a matter of fact. They have never had any expectation for themselves. When I was five, I woke in the middle of the night after a nightmare and told my mother I did not want to go to hell. She has no answers for me. She said to go back to bed. I knew from that day on my parents didn’t know shit. My non-active Mormon parents always perpetuated the Mormon belief, by never went to church much. The missionaries would come to the house while my parents were gone somewhere and search for coffee and cigs. Fast forwarding to High School. I found myself trying to get more involved in the Moron ...