I am not a Christian

Sent in by Gregory S

I am not a Christian.

Those words come from my mind (not yet from my lips) after forty-four years of serving Christ and his church with all of my heart. I gave my heart to Jesus when I was eleven, on Father's Day one hot June to honor my dad; I'm now fifty-five.

It is a scary thing, this leaving the faith business. Perhaps some do so in disgust, anger, or despair, but for me, walking away was scary. It would have been much easier, in some respects, if I had been outed and ostracized.

I'm an anime fan (google it), and one of my favorites is Fulmetal Alchemist. The main character is an atheist, as is his brother. In the first few episodes, he exposes a priest who is misleading a young girl into believing that he can bring her boyfriend back from the dead.

After the priest is discredited, the girl asks Ed (the main character), "What am I supposed to do now? How am I supposed to make sense of life?" Ed's answer has brought me a lot of comfort lately.

"You've got legs; stand up and use them to walk into the future."

Harsh?

Yes.

Good?

Also yes.

So, scary, yes. But there is peace, also. I will have to learn how to connect with people in a whole new way, but I'm already grateful for the ability to breathe, to think, question, ponder, and not worry if it's god's will or not.

Thanks for listening.

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