Sent in by Chris I have been a believer in Christ for more than 15 years and now I must explain what has happened to my faith. There have been a lot of questions from family and friends, so I wrote this letter as an explanation of sorts. To put it bluntly, I don’t believe in God anymore. To finally come out and say that ‘I do not believe’ has been one of the most heart wrenching experiences of my life. I have been a zealous Christian apologist and I know most of the arguments in favor of the Christian faith intimately. I have a cross tattooed on my arm with the Greek letters for Christ above it. I know many of the key Bible verses in the original Greek as well as English. I am very familiar with all of the church history and the ‘evidences’, and have used them in debates with others who were not Christian. I have at times been a youth leader and have filled in worship leader playing guitar or bass. I have lead small group studies; my evangelical credentials are obvious to all who know ...

Sent in by Jeff As I perused over a lot of the articles on this site, I realized I fit the common profile. I grew up in Alabama my whole life, was born and raised in a Southern Baptist church, and was inducted into the cult around the age of 9. For several years, everything about Christianity made sense (at least from what I could perceive). But, starting around the age of 15 (i estimate), i would get occasional doubts in my mind. E.g. How could a perfectly benevolent god create evil? and if he didn't, wouldn't his omniscience and omnipotence enable him to prevent ANYTHING from creating a malevolent presence? Or if all of creation was ruled by god, why did he have no choice but to sacrifice his son? But every time, I would cast off these thoughts as evidence that I didn't know enough about the Bible. Then, just a couple of weeks ago, I had my revelation. After hearing a lecture from my Geography professor, I decided to do some research on the age of the Earth. I realized th...

Sent in by Brandine It's amazing how a little time and a lot of information can completely change your point of view. I never was really touchy about my religion. That's not to say I didn't get offended when someone said something I considered blasphemy, but I wasn't the one who was going to get up in their face about it. I pretty much accepted that everyone had their own road to walk. My sister, Layla, posted a testimony on this site a couple of weeks ago so I won't go into too many of the same details. Suffice it to say, we grew up in the rural south, bible belt where religion isn't so much of a choice or epiphany as it is just a way of life. Even our crackheads are somewhat practicing Christians. It wasn't until I was a teenager that I started questioning my faith. I can pretty much pinpoint the high water marks. I never really gave much thought to my spirituality until I was about sixteen. Until that point, I knew I was saved, and that was good enough f...

Sent in by Matt It has been almost two years since I called myself a Christian. In my last days as a pastor I decided to take a break, I had grown tired of the stress of the church I assisted at, and the questions I had when I was younger in the faith were still unanswered. It was time to finally deal with them. I walked away, scared of what was ahead for me as all I "knew" was what god had called me to be, but not who I was or what I wanted to be. One night it hit me. "It" was actually a bright balloon that hit my face during a wonderful concert. But as the balloon smacked me I was overcome with laughter and wore a smile -- something I hadn't had in some time. Not only was it okay that god didn't exist, but it was a beautiful thing because all my joys were now mine. No longer was happiness something given to me for being a good solider. Recently I performed at a local "spoken word" event. It was only the second time I had been in front of a microp...

Sent in by Heather In truth, I have already written a testimonial recently. " Look ma, I'm an agnostic! ", but I wrote that out in pure blind anger. I thank all who replied to that, but now I'm a little less angry, and probably can write the whole story. Since I was born into a christian home, it is basically my LIFE story, I'm afraid, quite literally. I was born in the later part of 1987, the first child and daughter to two doctors in a small town within Northern Ireland. My mother was of the Church of Ireland (Anglican), my father a Presbyterian and I was baptised within the faith my father belonged to as a baby. Just over a year later, my sister was also born, and went through the same motions. Living and growing up in Northern Ireland is very different from the rest of the UK, and even down south in the rest of the Island. It can sometimes make you wonder if you've stepped back 50 years, if you ignore the Internet access and other conveniences of a modern ...

From Kristen I'm 21 and still live with my parents. I go to college and they foot the big so I have to. I don't believe in god but I am forced with the burden of playing pretend. I don't feel I am don't well at all, as my mom (who is a missionary in the church) keeps saying " I need to talk to you". I hate church. I go to a pentecostal church. They are sexist, homophobic, and elitist -- full of pomp and circumstances. Someone else described church as a side show, ladies dressed up in ridiculous hats and elaborate dresses while large men shout from pulpits. I have been going to this church for my entire life. I grew up there. I have been a Sunday school secretary, a youth teacher, and participated in youth group when I was younger. I remember the good times and feel guilty when I realize I want to leave. They could hold that against me. As I have gotten older, I have tried to distance myself from this church. I go to college and come home once a month. I st...

Sent in by Layla Like many others here I was raised in the way that Christianity wasn't presented to you as a choice; it was a lifestyle. It just... was. Even if you didn't go to church. It wasn't that you weren't a Christian, you were just a backslid Christian, in need of a little prodding, belittling, but all in the name of God's good works, you see. We weren't really church goers, my sister, brothers and myself might go every now and then but that was mostly just to hang out with the other kids. I never "felt" what I was "supposed" to. If anything I was always a little weirded out by church, everything about it vaguely resembled a sideshow if that makes sense. Old ladies in their best flowery dresses, a loud round man shouting from the stage about hellfire and damnation. People shouting left and right agreeing with everything the pastor says. I felt sick inside sometimes, I still do when I think of it. Still even with every nagging dou...

Sent in by DK My family is extremely fundamental, evangelical –- most of them missionaries. I let go of my beliefs about two years ago, but in order to not rock the boat, have stayed low key and have not come out of the closet yet. Over Christmas, my 27-year-old daughter told my 81-year-old mother that she believes the search for truth is revealed from within and you must follow your own heart wherever it leads even if it doesn’t lead to Christianity, because one must be true to oneself. Here is my mother’s comment: “Sorry about what *** wrote, but at least we know where she stands. We are fervently praying the Lord will open her eyes. She doesn’t know her heart is deceitful and desperately wicked. Also Satan is the father of lies and he has been feeding her lies and she has been believing them. We pray she will believe Jesus, who is the way, the truth and the life.” How close-minded, arrogant, and judgmental. I feel sickened ... but not at all surprised. DK from Atlanta

Sent in by Jake Sometimes, I miss being six years old and really believing that there were fairies and dragons and wizards out there somewhere, with the dinosaurs that maybe, just maybe lived in places of the world no one had found. When I was little, I dreamed of being an explorer and finding those places. I ran around as kids are wont to do, pretending to be storybook characters, exploring lost temples and forgotten jungle civilizations with Indiana Jones, slaying dragons with King Arthur, fighting off hordes of space invaders with lasers only I could see and all manner of other imaginative forms of self-amusement. It was a great dream, and as I was an only child of a poor family, typically the only reliable entertainment available to me. Someday I might just write books about it all. They'll be categorized as fiction, and I'll fondly keep copies of them on my bookshelves, to eventually read to my children/grandchildren, provided I ever have any. To arrive at my point, there...

Sent in by Angela I've been creeping around this site for awhile now, and thought I should finally come out of the woodwork and formally give my little story. When I was a little girl, my mother decided she was "searching" for something. This searching lead to me being dragged to many different churches, and learning many different faiths. And I'm not just talking Christian. There was the stint at a Catholic church, then about a year at the Unitarian. From the Unitarian we joined some kind of spiritualists, called (I think) CUPS. Or CUUPS. Something like that. Then it was back to Catholic for a while. Then a year or so of nothing. Then a couple of months at a Jewish temple. Then about a year or so at a Messianic Temple (Jews for Jesus - that made no sense to me, even then). Then some more nothing, then my mother 'discovered' the Christian Church. I was in the fifth grade. At the time, I was dealing with a lot of 'emotional things' from my extremely ver...