My story beyond Christianity

Sent in by Jennifer

I'm not real sure how to start this. I will apologize now for any grammatical or spelling errors that occur.

My grandparents raised me to be the model Christian. They had me in church from the time I was 15 months old all the way up to the time I left home. I was involved in all the youth groups, but I never felt comfortable enough to tell others how to get "saved". I felt that it was a personal choice for a person to make. I started noticing all the hypocrisy in the church when I was around 12 years old. Our church broke up because of some things that were said. It never got back to normal. We were one of the largest churches in that town and then we went to having a total of maybe 20 members.

I had a member of that church criticize me for, of all things, having yellow teeth. That was the start of me really not liking the people in that church.

By the time I was 17, I had stopped going to church altogether. It just wasn't that important to me. I felt that religion was hypocritical and that the bible was my link to God, not what a preacher told me. I held this view all the way up to when I was 21. Then the worst thing possible happened to me. I lost my first son to a stillbirth. I carried him to full-term. I had the so-called Christians tell me that God had a reason, or that I was not the Christian I should have been and I was being punished. That made me turn my back on Christianity altogether-- no Bible, no church, nothing. I wanted nothing to do with any of it if God was that mean-spirited as to punish an innocent baby for the sins of it's mother.

As if that wasn't bad enough, when I was 25, something happened again. My grandmother passed away. She was a charter member of the church I grew up in. She and three other couples started that church in someone's living room. You would think that as such a pillar of their church, they would have some respect for her. She was sick from October until February when she passed away. I can count on one hand all the church members that came to visit her. The preacher himself only came twice. That was pretty pathetic. As a result, I am so pissed off at those people. They didn't take into account that a lot of those people she had known for 40+ years and it had nothing to do with whether or not she went to church with them. Just a little respect, please.

Starting a few years ago, I began questioning my philosophy on life. I figured that there had to be something more out there because not all things can be explained by science. I started on a personal journey to explore all religions and to try to make sense of what they teach. I have studied Judaism, Muslim, and even into the occult, and witchcraft, paganism, Wicca. None of those hold the answer for me. When I told my family that I was studying Wicca, I was told that I was going to Hell because the Bible condemns witchcraft. My aunt told me this, the one who has not picked up a Bible or been to church since she, herself, was a teenager. The typical hypocritical Christian response to gaining knowledge.

I do not believe in the Bible or that there is this one all-powerful deity. He seems pretty mean-spirited to me. I don't believe that Jesus was divine. I think that, if he even existed at all, he was just a man, a rebel who caused a lot of problems. I don't have all the answers, but I do just roll my eyes at the fundamental Christians. I have read too much and watched too many documentaries to believe anything in the Bible.

Anyway, this is my take on it. I don't know everything, but that is why am studying things. I believe in solid, verifiable historical fact. Now, any suggestions as to how I can make my search better would be greatly appreciated.

Ft. Hood
Texas
U.S.
Joined: Really young
Left: 25
Was: Christian (non-denominational)
Now: Agnostic, at best
Converted because: My grandparents took me to church as a child, so I was raised in the faith.
De-converted because: too many reasons to count
email: jen2192000 AT yahoo DOT com

34 comments:

twincats said...

Hi, Jennifer and welcome!

The best thing I can tell you is keep looking, keep learning and be patient.

I saw a bumper sticker once that said "The road to enlightenment is long and difficult, so bring snacks and a magazine." I think that about sums it up and it's still one of my all-time faves!

Don't forget to examine, discuss and be critical of whatever you may discover and, above all, enjoy your journey!

Sarge said...

Jennifer, you are Here and the time is Now. The first atheist I ever knew taught me that that's the greatest miracle anyone can expect. I've always thought that any entity which (allegedly) needs to be brown nosed shouldn't be shown any consideration at all.

Twincats, I saw a neat bumper sticker which said, "PADDLE FASTER, I HEAR BANJO MUSIC!" There was a kayak on the roof of the car. As one who plays banjo, I feel, well, empowered.

SpaceMonk said...

Welcome Jennifer,

I say just keep asking questions. Of course plenty of contemplation and questioning the answers aswell.

"I felt that religion was hypocritical and that the bible was my link to God, not what a preacher told me."

I lived that way too for a while.
It's good to point out because many ex-c'ers are criticised for leaving christianity just because of a "bad experience with church people", and that true christianity stands on it's own, etc.
but, for me and obviously you, understanding what the bible is truly saying is the reason for leaving, and living outside of a church environment helps that become clear.

Bentley said...

Actually. you may be at the end of the road for your quest for truth.

I myself, feel no need to search any farther, I've wasted more than enough of my precious time looking for those hidden clues and answers to life.

Religiosity in itself, gives people a license to condemn and to pass judghement on others that do not abide by the christain rules.

It's the christian bigotry that led to all the killing of the American Indians.

Where did christian bigotry come from in the first place? The Bible.

Before 1492, there had never been a bible or church or q'uran on American soil. What we have is an infestious disease called religion, where did it come from? The Bible.

tigg13 said...

Welcome Jennifer.

Let's see, to help make your journey better, my first suggestion would be to make sure you're having fun and enjoying yourself, be nice to the people you care about and let them be nice to you, and don't work too hard.

By getting out from under christianity's thumb you've gotten past the hard part. From here on out, it's all gravy.

jen2192000 said...

Thank you to all who have replied. I have pretty much come to the end of my journey. I guess the only thing that bothers me right now is the reactions that I get from friends and family. Some of the reactions I get are very insulting, so I clam up and every once in a while, someone will say something to set me off again. But yes I am enjoying my pursuit of knowledge.

Dave8 said...

jen2192000, great to hear you are on the road to discovery in your life.

For many in life, we question our purpose and reason for being, typically after reaching a point where we are able to think and move beyond survival needs - food, water, shelter, clothes, etc.

I have learned that our purpose is based on our knowledge. In life, as our knowledge changes, so does our purpose - thus, our purpose is one with our becoming. Our ultimate purpose, is found when we pass away - its what we became.

The religious state we "are", and thus, we have no way to "become". Its great to hear, that you have chosen to "become", instead of being limited by an ancient religious definition of what all of humanity "is". That would be; sinful, depraved, damned at birth, and the scorn of the earth.

The religious bad news; we are born damned and headed for hell. The religious good news; a god placed us in that position, and we can trust that same god to get us out of the mess ;-)

Again, congratulations on accepting your life back...

Jessica38 said...

Welcome Jennifer!

"I guess the only thing that bothers me right now is the reactions that I get from friends and family. Some of the reactions I get are very insulting, so I clam up and every once in a while, someone will say something to set me off again. But yes I am enjoying my pursuit of knowledge."

I so understand...I just got into a huge blow out argument yesterday with my folks that literally left me shaking and sick to my stomach. You can choose to hang around who you want but when it comes to your family, you just can't walk away.

barb said...

Jessica said,
"You can choose to hang around who you want but when it comes to your family, you just can't walk away."

Well, sometimes you can. Sometimes you have to. I am the youngest of 8 siblings, and I choose to spend time with 2 of them.
There are two, Christians, who I may not see until they die (or, may not see again ever, as I may die first), because I recognize that not one good thing comes from our spending time together. They are toxic to me, and I know the only thrill they get from my company is the belief that they have "planted a seed" which may bring me back to the fold. My honest response to them would involve mentioning my IQ (as compared to theirs), but my liberal humanism prevents me from being that cruel. So, I choose to keep them out of my life. My brother called, left a message saying he and wife would be in the area (they live 10 hours from me), and could we get together? I EMAILED back, sorry, so busy and stressed, it just would not work out. I can't talk to him-- just talking is hypocrisy. I'd rather lie outright(if that makes sense).
Save yourself, at whatever cost, is among my mottoes.

barb said...

Sorry Jen,

I got so involved in my own story I forgot to acknowledge yours. Great post; thank you for sharing!
Peace will come, in time (you probably have experienced more peace through truth than you ever felt brainwashed by the *ahem* "TRUTH").
It's great to be free of that burden; I liken it sometimes to being on a diet, because when you're on a diet, you will fall off it. Without the diet, you just pretty much do what's right, what's healthy, what makes SENSE. I think my morals are healthier, and that I'm a more compassionate person, since I left christianity.
Think of yourself as someone who was kidnapped, was held captive, and over-identified with your captors-- now, you are debriefed, you get counseling for PTSD, and you rediscover life. It takes time but it will be great for you.
Hope your journey is lovely, fruitful, awesome.

Anonymous said...

Dear Jennifer ~

Let me, if I may, suggest something to you that perhaps you have never heard before. Namely, that God is real, but that the religion of Christianity is not and never has been of Him.

Please! Have patience with me for a moment. Reading some of the experiences that you have had in Christianity is heart-breaking. But they are not new to me -- in fact you are, as I'm sure you well know by now, not at all alone in what you have been through. This is what happens when MAN steps in and invents doctrines and ceremonies and rituals and declares that they are of God.

I am telling you that God's power is real, and that a person can be touched by it if he or she repents and cries out to Jesus with a sincere heart, and doing this has NOTHING to do with joining a church or repeating scriptures or participating in meaningless rituals such as Christian communion and Christian baptism.

The feelings that Jesus can give you are the sweetest and most tender that you have ever felt, and they go so deeply that one touch will change you forever. Jesus is the only one gentle enough to reach down into your heart and touch those deepest wounds, such as the tragic loss of your little baby, and heal them and make you feel life again. Some hurts are so raw that any human comfort is far less than sufficient. I know how that feels. So does Jesus.

Please, I ask you, get alone -- all alone -- with God and humble down once more and ask Him to let you know if He is real. Trust Him, He isn't going to let you down, as so many others have. It might feel like He already has; but that isn't the case. He's there! You have seen in your life what happens if you turn to man and the well-sculpted relgion that he has made using Christ's name. This time, just let it be you and your Father, your Daddy who loves you very much!

I felt so much love for you writing this. I know you are burnt out with searching for truth in this world, and I want to thank you if you have taken the time to read this letter from me.

Here is a website with more information about what I have been telling you:
pastorjohnshouse.com. Maybe you would like reading some of the testimonies. God is calling His people to come out of Christianity and serve Him in Spirit and in truth!

Love,
Rebekah

barb said...

Rebekah,

Ooh, honey, ICK!!

What you say is gruesome icky syrup. Treacle. Sweet, well-meaning, but it's cheesing my curd.
There is nothing. There is nothing. There is nothing you could say that could convince me that what you "believe" is anything more than how my 6 yr old believes in santa.
Do you believe in mohammed? Wow, how could you not, when it's o evident to millions of followers of islam?
Oh, but jesus is superior to mohammed?
See, I had not known that. Now it's clear.
When it's clear like that, when it's not because I have an emotional or psychological need to believe in a skyparent, I can "believe" in everlasting life with jesus.
Phew, missed a shitload of hell with that save.

scapegoat said...

Oh Rebekah, sigh .The sad fact is that the most populous state in America is the state of denial. I went to that website and recognized a niche church. You don't like your old church so you search for a new one. Pastor john is just like the rest. We don't need rescue but if you are lucky and keep reading here, you may find truth. It is the Terrible Truth but better than the Beautiful Lies. scapegoat

Dave8 said...

Again, lets see how a christian defines a persons' purpose for them.

Rebekah: "I am telling you..."

Here's your purpose introduction line...

Rebekah: "...that God's power is real,"

Here's the authority being used to "tell" you what your purpose in life is...

Rebekah: "...and that a person can be touched by it if he or she repents and cries out to Jesus with a sincere heart,"

Here are the requirements that "must" be met, in order to remove yourself from what you "are"... per christianity... Per christianity, you are, as well as everybody else; depraved, naturally defective, sinful, damned, and have no purpose or hope... unless you accept and cry out to the god who created you and everyone else this way. Oh, and you must be "sincere" when you cry out, and beg for forgiveness, because you were born...

Rebekah: "...and doing this has NOTHING to do with joining a church or repeating scriptures or participating in meaningless rituals such as Christian communion and Christian baptism."

Here's the disclaimer... that this message isn't guided by rituals and christian communion, etc., however, if this message is not in the bible, where does Rebekah derive her authority to speak on behalf of a god? A website?

Rebekah has found her purpose, its to follow someone else by their words. She is currently limited to acting upon "words", while disengaging herself from reality. When reality conflicts with the words that give her purpose, she will go into denial, or some cognitive prevent defense.

We are born in a circle (mind)... the circle room we sit in has 360 windows with shades pulled down, all around (sensory & cognitive potential)... as we mature, each window shade lifts and we are able to experience reality with more clarity and appreciation...

The religious would have everyone believe they are not capable of lifting the shades on their own, that they need help from a religious person. Thus, the religious person, opens the first window so that a person can start understanding their reality, only to find a pastor filling the entire window and telling everyone how to interpret reality. They use books, rituals, and any "words" they can, to substitute for "reality" or "real life experience".

The pastor at this time, after tainting the perception of the person, tells them to then open other windows, but... if they see anything that conflicts with his words, that window needs to have the shades pulled back down, because its evil. Evil in the sense, that it conflicts with the pastors' words, which hold the authority of a god.

Rebekah, sits in such a position. If I were to ask Rebekah, to define herself as a person, she wuold most likely do what most other religious do... they would describe themselves in terms of religion - because its all they know. In short, Rebekah "is", what she has been told she "is", that is currently Rebekah's "purpose" in life.

She can't "become" anything more, until she opens the other shades, and starts discovering life for herself, from a neutral point of view. In short, Rebekah's purpose is limited in life at the moment. She can never reach her true potential, by experiencing life with all the windows open, until she accepts that the pastor in the only window she has open - is just another mortal in life who only has one window open themselves. As, if the pastor has more than one window open, they are a hypocrite.

When others talk about the information they find in the other windows... the religious deny, hate, and revolt against anything and everything that disagrees with their one view - its called bigotry.

The pattern is consistent, and hasn't changed much in the past few thousand years. Again, congratulations on having the courage to open a few more shades, once you become acclimitized to the light, open a few more, enjoy the enlightenment. Take care.

Anonymous said...

HELLO ALL

I am a christian, a follower of Jesus Christ. I believe in God as the creator of everything that exist in this world, but that we as humans utilize his creations for our purposes, good or bad. I believe that Jesus Christ dies on the cross for our sins and that through Him and only Him I am forgiven by God. I know and believe that God is real and worship Him... Yes sometimes I fail and I've seen many others fail too but the great news is that GOd is a forgiving GOd and and when we fail, He's always there to dialogue with us and forgive us. It always amazes me that God continue to chose to use people in His attempt to reach people. I believe that in all your experiences you have each of you met at least one person who showed you the love of Christ but for some unknown reason that person got buried and all you can now see are the few that were judgemental. The thing to remember is this, "not everyone who says Lord, Lord is truly a follower of Christ and that like you some of us are still growing as people and as Christians. I know of one man who searched as you all are searching. His name was Solomon. Known to all as the wisest man ever to live. He searched for the meaning of live, using other religions, pleasure, riches to find meaning and in the end he concluded with this,
Fear God and keep his commandments, for it is man's all. For God will bring every work into judgement, including every secret thing, whether good or evil."
I know we may this is not real, GOd is not real, but I ask you as you ponder, oh great philosophers, what if, just what if, it is real..

Jane said...

Hey there Jennifer.

I am a Christian, but I'm not going to try to "convert" you, you seem to know the Scriptures, being you said you believed Scripture was your link to God and not some pastor. I agree with you. Actually, in my church body if we disagree with a pastor theologically, and he can not support his position with Scripture and the Book of Concord, we can have him kicked out of office.

I was touched by your story and I have a few comments.

I am going to study to be a deaconess next year. It will take me a while to complete, several years. We get heavily trained in theology. But one of the things a deaconess does is to sick with the sick in the congregation. Deaconess work is a work of suffering, mercy, and perservence. So I must say, I am sickened to hear of those who didn't even visit your grandmother when they supposely knew her so long. And the pastor! For shame!

Also, for those that said you were going to Hell for exploring witchcraft. The Bible does tell us to avoid it, HOWEVER, the Bible also says "Judge not, lest you also be judged." I am impressed that these so-called Christians have the nerve to believe they can read the heart! That is God's job.

Anyway, those are my comments, and I have a theory that if some is not trained in proper Law and Gospel distinctions, they will leave the church. Just from what you've written I don't think you were. I am going to write a book on it one day. My name is Jamie Alderman so look out for it :)

Again, I do not wish to "convert" you. I'm far from a Bible-thumber and you have read the Scriptures so it's not like I would telling you anything new anyway.

God Bless.

Jane said...

Hey there Jennifer.

I forgot to include something, a opinion of sorts, I just thought of it as I was walking away but I think you should hear it.

(By the way, when I said "sick by the sick" I meant "sit by the sick")

I do not condemn your decision so much as I condemn those who caused it. Do you remember reading Jesus' words to scribes and Pharisees? "But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut up the kingdom of heaven against men; for you neither go in yourselves, nor do you allow those who are entering to go in." I am not assuming that the Christians who ministered to you were hypocrites but they certainly didn't divide Law and Gospel. Those Christians who told you that your stillborn child was a result of your sin. Jesus is painstakingly clear that we never recieve suffering for our sin, because Jesus suffered for ALL our sins at the Cross. I can assure you now that whatever you go through, it will not be a punishment for sin.

God Bless,
Jamie

boomSLANG said...

Fundonymous said: "I believe that Jesus Christ dies on the cross for our sins and that through Him and only Him I am forgiven by God. I know and believe that God is real and worship Him..."

Ah, yes...a statement commonly heard here. You "know" AND "believe" that YOUR God is "real". Even though you have never experienced this deity on a personal level with your natural and physical senses, you "know" that your god is "real". Of course, any logical person sees the contradiction here.

Anony continued with: "know we may this is not real, GOd is not real, but I ask you as you ponder, oh great philosophers, what if, just what if, it is real.."

Hey wait a minute, do you "know" god is real, or don't you? You're asking "what if?", now? Okay, there's some Muslim dude sitting on the other side of the planet thinking "I 'know' and 'believe' Muhammad is 'real' and I 'worship' Him". Let's take your "what if" challenge and apply it to you---WHAT IF he is right, and YOU are wrong?...WHAT IF Muhammad is the true Savior for mankind? It would seem you're going to Islamic hell, wouldn't it? S~i~z~z~l~e

boomSLANG said...

Jamie/Jane reassured: "Jesus is painstakingly clear that we never recieve suffering for our sin, because Jesus suffered for ALL our sins at the Cross."

So like, are all of our "sins" payed for in full?... or aren't they? Are we in debt? Yes?-- no?...shucks, if he did all THAT for lil' ole me...I'd better get to sinnin'.... so that-a-way, jesus' suffering wasn't in vein. BTW, I was wunderin'---can a "God" really "suffer"? Somethin' AIN'T right about that!

Jamie/Jane said: "I can assure you now that whatever you go through, it will not be a punishment for sin."

Well shazam!---I'm glad out of a gazillion different interpretations of the bible, someone FINALLY has the Right one. lol

weege422 said...

A lot of these comments are based off of notions without presuppositiion. There's no basis or support for what some of you are saying. My g/f stumbled upon this website and sent it to me. I'm glad she did. I am a Christian, but i have a bigger problem with Christians than any other type of people. They are the biggest hyprocrites in the world (not all but a good majority). they know nothing about why they believe in what they believe in. I do know that there is a truth out there. I know (personal experience) that there is truth out there. There is a God and God has revealed enough knowledge of Himself for us to find it. I'm not going to sit here and tell you that the Bible is truth and Christianity is the only way of salvation. I'm not one to force my beliefs upon someone else (I can't stand it when people do that. it gets nobody anywhere, and it only causes dissension). I do know that there is truth and God is real. I just encourage you to drop any notions about what PEOPLE made any God out to be, and focus on you and your individual quest(if you want to search) for God. just YOU and GOD. Search God out with an open heart. Weigh the evidence, weigh the options, weigh the reliability of things through direct and true sources (not necessarily television). You will find your answers if you search for truth. i absolutely guarantee it. i have no doubt of that. I apologize on behalf of Christians. It wasn't originally set out to be what PEOPLE made it to be.....just hope you remember that.

boomSLANG said...

"Search God out with an open heart."

What exactly does that mean?...an "open heart"? You mean, like, "feelings"? Find truth?.. based on "feelings"? Like....if I "feel" that something is true, then it must be? If there's one thing that two logical people should be able to agree on, it's that man's decision making based on emotion(feelings) is highly prone to error. Look at history. The unknown may not ALWAYS be unknowable. Until then, a position of neutrality is the most honest position.

"Weigh the evidence, weigh the options, weigh the reliability of things through direct and true sources (not necessarily television). You will find your answers if you search for truth."

And just why have you ass-umed that we haven't done any of this already? Hmmm....is it because we didn't come up with YOUR "truth"?---a truth based, admittedly, on your personal experiences? 'Don't know---it's seems a bit presumptuous and arrogant on your part.

"i absolutely guarantee it. i have no doubt of that."

You guarantee it, do ya? John Travolta guarantees that L. Ron Hubbard has the "truth". Gee, I dunno....my "heart is more open" to Vinnie Barbarino being right, than some anonymous dude on a forum ; )

jen2192000 said...

Rebeka,

I have a question for you. Did you even read my story and the reason for my leaving the church and religion altogether? There are so many more reasons than just the ones that I talked about. I think that church people are hypocritical asses. They raise hell all week, but come on in here on Sunday, we are all forgiven, then leave and completely forget about the lesson you were just taught. All church was for me was a damn contest to see who could outdress the next person. As for my 'Daddy who loves me very much', screw that. I already have a Daddy who is a Born-Again Christian. Never mind that he abused all of his kids, by hitting, verbally, and sexually. He chose the religion path because he doesn't want to go to hell and he wants SOMEone, ANYone to forgive him. Well, it's not gonna be me (even though I talked to someone in the church and they told me I HAD to forgive him. I don't think so.)

Jamie, thank you for your words of comfort, but it is a little too late for me. Yes you are right that I have studied, extinsively, in fact, and there is nothing that you or anyone else can say to me that will make me go back to Christianity. I have been hurt too much by the church. Also, once again, let me make this perfectly clear for you and for anyone else who has a probem with my not being a Christian: It wasn't just the religious people that turned me off of religion. I wanted to know more about ALL religions, so I studied ALL religions. They ALL have some varience of the same thing. The oldest religions were polytheistic and alot of the ideas for christianity were stolen from them. The Virgin Mary is no more than Isis. Now, go ahead and call me a heretic. Where is your proof that any of the religions are real?

Jennifer

Dave8 said...

weege422: "There is a God and God has revealed enough knowledge of Himself for us to find it."

Knowledge: "Cognition: the psychological result of perception and learning and reasoning."
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

Knowledge is the product of human cognition. Therefore, god does not "reveal" knowledge, unless you are suggesting "god" manipulates the neurological processes in every human to ensure we come to some specific "knowledge", regarding himself.

If that were the case, then everyone should have the same "knowledge", and thus, have an equal understanding of a "god", right.

Personally, I don't think a god is regulating my neurological process to provide a needle that points to him/her. Therefore, there is no "knowledge" being revealed, except by humanity, and its revealed after they cognitively process their reality and come to some knowledgeable determination of what they consider truth.

J. C. Samuelson said...

"There's no basis or support for what some of you are saying."

Examples, please.

"Weigh the evidence..."

What evidence?

"...weigh the options..."

The sheer number of options, even within Christianity, limits the credibility of the religion.

"...weigh the reliability of things through direct and true sources..."

Such as? If you mean the Bible, there is more than enough evidence that it is simply a well-preserved, imperfectly translated and transmitted, human literary work. Beyond that is to enter the realm of the illogical and extremely unlikely.

Bentley said...

wedgie422 said;

"A lot of these comments are based off of notions without presuppositiion. There's no basis or support for what some of you are saying. (But my Bible and my beliefs are totally true and provable by my beliefs and by my faith)

My g/f stumbled upon this website and sent it to me. I'm glad she did. I am a Christian,( But I live and sleep with my girlfriend and we have sex after we pray to God to forgive us, so I am therefore a Christian) but i have a bigger problem with Christians than any other type of people.(That exludes me though) They are the biggest hyprocrites in the world (not all but a good majority).(and especially not me) they know nothing about why they believe in what they believe in. I do know that there is a truth out there.( yeah it's out there, not anywhere near the Bible, but it's out there, saith me) I know (personal experience) that there is truth out there. There is a God and God has revealed enough knowledge of Himself for us to find it. (he sent us a book written by Arabic dope runners thats my evidence)I'm not going to sit here and tell you that the Bible is truth and Christianity is the only way of salvation.(where is a need for salvation, and I have it already) I'm not one to force my beliefs upon someone else (I can't stand it when people do that. it gets nobody anywhere, and it only causes dissension).(all I know is that I am a Christian and all others are going to hell) I do know that there is truth and God is real.(because I was told there is a God) I just encourage you to drop any notions about what PEOPLE made any God out to be, and focus on you and your individual quest(if you want to search) for God. just YOU and GOD. Search God out with an open heart.(go to the hospital and have your heart removed and slpit it open and start searching, saith me) Weigh the evidence, weigh the options, weigh the reliability of things through direct and true sources (not necessarily television). You will find your answers if you search for truth. i absolutely guarantee it.(for I have the answers to all ultimate truth, but it is you nonbeleivers, that need to search as much as I have) i have no doubt of that. I apologize on behalf of Christians.(becasuse I represent the true model of true christianity) It wasn't originally set out to be what PEOPLE made it to be.....just hope you remember that.( because I have deciphered the Bible and found out the only absolute truth and I am the only true christian living with my girlfriend, so the rest of you all are going straight to hell, except for me and her)

You know what weege? You turned out to be the biggest self-centered, self-righteous, snot-nosed, self-loathing christian hypocrit piece of shit to ever have posted on here, you're sick and demented imbecile. I pitty your poor girlfriend what she must endure on a daily basis. Have her come on here and tell us just what a glorious Saint you happen to be, you turned out to be a bigger hypocrit than the people you intentenally tried to condemn. What a mindless fool you turned out to be.

Anonymous said...

I feel pretty lucky that my decision not to believe wasn't because of some terrible run in at a church, or with other christians. Otherwise I would have to wonder if I was really against christianity or just against its followers. Even though I was raised as a preacher's kid, and went to a christian high school and college it was never really forced down my throat. When I could get past the scare-factor of hell and really start thinking about it, that's when I realized that it was all pretty ridiculous.

Derek said...

Hi Jennifer,

I read your story, wow I can't amagine what you have gone through. I am a christian and although I agree with what some of the christians said, I don't think what you need or want is for someone to argue you back in the kingdom. But I am confused why christians would try to argue with you instead of first apologizing on behalf of christians for the way you were treated in the church. I am sorry that people decided to destroy you instead of building you up.
I hope someday that you realize that christians are not always the best representatives of Jesus.
I am glad that you are exploring different religions and I encourage you in gain more knowledge, which is never wrong.
I hope someday you restore your relationship with Jesus and you experiences will help you to be the follower of God that you wish you witnessed when you were younger. I'll be praying for you.

boomSLANG said...

"I hope someday that you realize that christians are not always the best representatives of Jesus."

Of course they're not....how could they be?.. if JESUS can't even represent HIMSELF accurately?

"I am glad that you are exploring different religions and I encourage you in gain more knowledge, which is never wrong."

Exploring different religions is about as useful as an alcoholic exploring different gins. And what???..."gain more knowledge"?...you encourage it? Hmmm, that's odd, eating from the tree of "knowledge" is what corrupted all of mankind to start with, according to your bible. Not to mention, "the wisdom of man is foolishness."(paraphrased)

"I'll be praying for you."

Oh jesus christ! AGAIN???......prayer is about as useful as shoes on a mackeral!

lauren said...

hey tis lauren here!!i completely understand your feelings.i was heavily into the occult and it undoubtedly still has a power to it.i feel alot of christianity today is very hypocritical and my faith is and has always been personal and i dont attend church regularly.i swear, i drink, i smoke and hell i love rock n roll musaque but i dont give a toss wat neone else thinks of me and i cant deny the feelings in me for God.i am a Christian who has a personal relationship with God and i dont have a niche or denomination that fits with my faith.hence my private faith.i try to be more selfless etc etc and i feel aslong as you try nothing else is expected.im truly sorry for the way you've been treated and being from n.ireland i understand the religious judgement.i'd like to hear your thoughts n all!

Patti said...

First let me say that I'm a "believer" - and may I be so bold as to deeply, deeply apologize for the bad behavior of Christians who completely miss the mark - there are many!! Further, I would say to not only you, but to others who have written off God - please leave the door open just a crack - God himself hasn't let you down - it's people who have.

boomSLANG said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
boomSLANG said...

Patti said: "please leave the door open just a crack - God himself hasn't let you down - it's people who have."

People are imperfect and are bound to let you down at some point, whether God exists, or not. However, if a God DOES exist, he/she/it MUST be perfect, or else they are unqualified to be a God. That said, if you really took the time to read some of the testimonies, you'd see that many of the people here cannot reconcile that a "perfect" and "omnibenevolent" being would systematically ignore their prayers and their pleading for God to reveal himself/herself/itself to them. I fit in this boat. I prayed, and I prayed, and I prayed. NOTHING. ZILCH. NADDA. Presumably, God exists atemporally. Um, that's a long time, compared to my measley lifetime. God as had EVERY opportunity to reveal himself to me/us, yet continually fails. By this reasoning, it would seem that "God" would rather see me burn in hell, than to simply make an appearance.

At some point, a sane rationally thinking person has to say either God just doesn't give a f%ck, and/or is a malicious being....OR, God doesn't exist. It's no-brainer.

Elder Norm said...

Jennifer,
I am sorry to hear of your troubles. I hope that you find what you are looking for. My own change process was not quite so dramatic but then again, it took some time.

Since you asked about possible sources of information, I will offer a group called ARO. The web site is www.aro-religion.org but don't let the term religion bother you. Their motto is "THe belief in reality and the organized search for its measure." You may also e-mail me with any questions. You can reach me at eldernorm at hotmail dot com.

Either way, I wish you the best of luck on your search.

Elder Norm

muttmutt1978 said...

I hate it when christians try to bring people back when theyve been hurt by christians and thier religion, its like they dont get the full picture. anyways, my mom is a liberal christian and she threatened to throw me and my husband on the street because (in my opinion) i refuse to raise my unborn child christian. What will happen with us i do not know, but i can only hope on the kindness of strangers to get me through. It disgusts me to no end when christians apologize for bad behavior then try to convert you back(as if thats going to help anything) anyways i hope life treats you well, and i hope you never go back to that evil religion of christianity(dont be islam either theyre just as bad!)

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