Atheist after reading the Bible
Sent in by Susan
I was raised Catholic. My whole family still believes in the Church. My dad is even a "Knight of Columbus."
As a child, I was afraid there was no God. I was always doubting. But since my parents believed, I assumed there must be a god, even though I couldn't see him. I sometimes felt uplifted at church.
When I was in high school, I had a boyfriend who was a born-again Christian. I liked his friends and the church activities. So I tried to buy into it. It's actually very simple: You just follow the rules.
After a while, I realized the rules were stupid. I stopped going and went to college. At college, I continued to be scared of dying. What if there was no God? No Heaven? That was very scary to me.
After a year at college, my mother died of cancer. I was angry at God and turned away from him. I said I was an atheist because god would not let things like that happen to my mom.
This went on for awhile. I would say now, that I didn't have a true atheism. I still believed in God because I was angry at him. I suffered from anxiety attacks when I thought about death. The anxiety attacks were very scary.
After college, I met my first husband. He was a manipulative jerk, but I was so depressed at the time, I was just glad to have someone in my life. It was a very sad, pathetic time in my life that I'm not proud of. My first husband was a born-again Christian and converted me back. The anxiety attacks mostly stopped because I could believe in something.
After awhile, I divorced my husband and met someone new. He had always been searching for the truth in life himself. We got married.
I began to really read the Bible and research what others said about different religions. I met some Mormons and learned about what they thought, too.
Reading the Bible showed me that the Bible is contradictory, mean-spirited and anti-family. As a mother of 2 kids, I would never choose God over my kids, but the Bible expects a person to do that.
After all of this research, I realized that there is no way that there is a God. People want to believe because it makes them feel better. It made me feel better, too. But believing in something that isn't real isn't very satisfying to me. I'd rather that there was a Heaven. I'd love to see my mom when I die. But I know that's not true. It's wishful thinking.
At this point, I became a true atheist. I started taking medication for my anxiety and depression. It turns out that I have a chemical imbalance that I probably inherited from my parents. The medicine balances me. I am able to think more clearly.
I discovered the writings of Epicurus. It helped me deal with death. There is nothing to fear.
I have am raising my kids to be free-thinkers. I hope they will choose atheism. My husband is not an atheist, but neither is he religious. He is moderately "spiritual." I hope more people can learn to turn away from religion. It is a pipe-dream, a wishful desire that leads to nothing. Appreciating life and celebrating it every day is what is most important.
El Paso
TX
USA
Joined: born into it
Left: 28
Was: Catholic, Christian (Born again)
Now: atheist
Converted because: Born into it
De-converted because: Read the Bible
I was raised Catholic. My whole family still believes in the Church. My dad is even a "Knight of Columbus."
As a child, I was afraid there was no God. I was always doubting. But since my parents believed, I assumed there must be a god, even though I couldn't see him. I sometimes felt uplifted at church.
When I was in high school, I had a boyfriend who was a born-again Christian. I liked his friends and the church activities. So I tried to buy into it. It's actually very simple: You just follow the rules.
After a while, I realized the rules were stupid. I stopped going and went to college. At college, I continued to be scared of dying. What if there was no God? No Heaven? That was very scary to me.
After a year at college, my mother died of cancer. I was angry at God and turned away from him. I said I was an atheist because god would not let things like that happen to my mom.
This went on for awhile. I would say now, that I didn't have a true atheism. I still believed in God because I was angry at him. I suffered from anxiety attacks when I thought about death. The anxiety attacks were very scary.
After college, I met my first husband. He was a manipulative jerk, but I was so depressed at the time, I was just glad to have someone in my life. It was a very sad, pathetic time in my life that I'm not proud of. My first husband was a born-again Christian and converted me back. The anxiety attacks mostly stopped because I could believe in something.
After awhile, I divorced my husband and met someone new. He had always been searching for the truth in life himself. We got married.
I began to really read the Bible and research what others said about different religions. I met some Mormons and learned about what they thought, too.
Reading the Bible showed me that the Bible is contradictory, mean-spirited and anti-family. As a mother of 2 kids, I would never choose God over my kids, but the Bible expects a person to do that.
After all of this research, I realized that there is no way that there is a God. People want to believe because it makes them feel better. It made me feel better, too. But believing in something that isn't real isn't very satisfying to me. I'd rather that there was a Heaven. I'd love to see my mom when I die. But I know that's not true. It's wishful thinking.
At this point, I became a true atheist. I started taking medication for my anxiety and depression. It turns out that I have a chemical imbalance that I probably inherited from my parents. The medicine balances me. I am able to think more clearly.
I discovered the writings of Epicurus. It helped me deal with death. There is nothing to fear.
I have am raising my kids to be free-thinkers. I hope they will choose atheism. My husband is not an atheist, but neither is he religious. He is moderately "spiritual." I hope more people can learn to turn away from religion. It is a pipe-dream, a wishful desire that leads to nothing. Appreciating life and celebrating it every day is what is most important.
El Paso
TX
USA
Joined: born into it
Left: 28
Was: Catholic, Christian (Born again)
Now: atheist
Converted because: Born into it
De-converted because: Read the Bible
Comments
Welcome to sanity, from christianity!
boomslang.
Have you noticed that all authority requires you to put all other loyalties and loves to the rear? Countries, religeons, work...they all want to actually own you, religeon just holds the note longer.
Sorry to hear of your past problems. Hey, at least you have realized the real way of the world early and can enjoy life as it comes and not spend your life waiting for a hope based upon really bad stories and pretend morals.
If you are still trying to find your way around reality, I had good luck with a group at www.aro-religion.org". Trust me on the name thing. :-)
Norm
EL Paso,at Blessed Sacrament,in grade school.Much of those religious teachings really messed with my head. Making
a mistake, just before you die, could damm you to hell forever.I had resentents toward god.I felt this stuff was forced on me.The
idea of christ dying for our sins
seemed a little strange.AT that time I was a believer.AS I got older I began having serious doubts
about it.I have seen the flaws and crazy stuff that's in the bible.I
can't believe I use to call it a holy book.I have become an atheist
since than.I felt a huge feeling
of relief since that has happened.I
am fine with just dying ,and that is the end of it.I lost my sister
10 years ago to cancer.I felt like
a part of me was torn away.I don't
live in El Paso any more,but I do
visit my other sister, and nieces and nephews.I go to church with them,more just to be with them,and friends,then the actual church service.During christmas. Letting your kids become free thinkers,sounds like a really good thing.Good for you.
You made one of the most profound and true statements I have ever heard anyone make when you said, "have you noticed how all authority requires you to put all other loyalties and loves to the rear? Countries, religions, work...they all want to actually own you."
Every person to their own, xrayman and anyone else who is atheist. But I just can't understand how some people can say that there's not a creator or creators of the universe. Also, there have been so many testimonies of people who are sensetives to the world of spirits. That's something else that I can't fathom.
I myself at age 7 had a friend to have her head accidentally ran over by her grandfather, and the night of her funeral I spent with her parents at her house and I slept in her bed. I know for a fact that I saw her spirit appear to me. I wasn't thinking about her when I encountered it. Plus I was wide awake. I never told anyone because I knew that they would say it was just a dream. But I know otherwise. Will anyone who is atheist explain to me how they don't believe in a not all powerful being but somewhat powerful. For a person to continue to exist in their spirit after death is something that just can't be dismissed. I would appreciate for someone to elaborate on this for me. Thanks
Until the next time that I post a comment, everyone who visits this site take care.
I have also found out after reading the Bible how truly menacing that Book really is! I was never aware of it before but the Bible is actually very violent, sexiest,intolerant and just plain dangerous, if you ask me! Certainly not a Book i would want children to read!
Atheism is difficult at first because reality is sad but i'd still rather "know" than be fooled into believing fairytales.