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10/11/03                                                                                       View Comments

I Am What I Am ~ And That’s ALL What I Am !

sent in by Rex Payne

I am me…unique in the universe; for there is no one exactly like me! Who I am? What I am? And why I am? These are questions that pertain solely to me and my personal evaluation of me. They are questions that are yet to be answered completely, for I am ever changing and evolving on a daily basis. Each new experience adds yet another dimension to the ‘me’ of ‘me’. Whether I slithered out of the primordial ooze some billion years ago, and painstakingly evolved into the complex creature I am today, or was created by an omnipotent deity, are questions that have yet to be answered by the scientific or theological communities, as far as I can determine. I prefer to believe that a divine, universal entity played a major part in my existence. That universal entity is who I perceive to be my God, as I understand Him. He has no connection to the ‘Christian god depicted in the ‘Bible’. That god, is a god of vengeance, anger, cruelty, and is constantly destroying that which he created! One would think that being the god of all creation; he would have gotten it right the first time! My “Higher-Power”, does not sit in judgment of me, nor does He demand that I worship Him. I am a ‘mortal’, period! There is no ‘godliness’ in me. I am above the animals only because I have the ability to reason and use my opposing thumb to create tools, which help make my life more ‘livable’. I have the right of ‘choice’…be it my lifestyle, my belief system, or the form of government I choose to vote for. Unlike the family I was born into, (through no choice of my own) my friends, companions, and lovers, are of my own choosing. “Choices” are the ultimate privileges that separates man from the animals. Look at the ‘choices’ the Christian god gives us; either we worship and adore him and therefore spend eternity with him in paradise…. or, not believe in him and suffer the torments of hell for all time. Some choices, I’d say! My “Higher-Power” instilled in my
gene pool, the basic ability to think and make decisions, and to know instinctively, right from wrong. Obviously, not everyone uses those abilities to good purpose, which is why we must have laws to govern us.

I am a good person, and I choose to do good. Sometimes I get angry when I feel persecuted or treated wrongly, and at those times I don’t always act in a responsible manner. No one is perfect. We all have our flaws. The important thing, (in my opinion) is to be aware of those flaws and not let them become the ‘rule’, rather than the ‘exception’. The God-of –My-Understanding, gave me life, and at the same time, gave me the freedom to live that life of my own choosing. My accomplishments are mine, not my Higher-Powers…just as my failures are mine, not my Higher-Powers! When I am good, it is His doing, but when I am bad, it is my doing. There is mutual respect between my God and me, and that is, (in my opinion) how it should be. “I am what I am, and that’s all what I am”……………amen.


City: Lompoc

State: CA

Country: USA

Became a Christian: 21

Ceased being a Christian: 60

Labels before: Bible Baptist, Nazarene, 7th Day Adventest, etc.

Labels now: Deist

Why I joined: Peer pressure, fear, ignorance...

Why I left: Finally found sanity and truth!