Christianity taught me...

Sent in by Sharon H

Christianity taught me that I must always forgive. Now I’m learning that while forgiveness is indeed good for the soul, forgiveness is a choice not a mandate. Compassion is more effective than forgiveness, because it involves stepping back and detaching from the tendency to judge.

Christianity taught me that marriage was the second most important goal in life, the first being devotion to God. Now I've learned that marriage is not a goal at all but a formal way of expressing a love relationship between two people.

Christianity taught me that allegiance to one’s life partner is more important than anything—including one's sanity, safety and well being. Now I’m learning that allegiance to self is most important.

Christianity taught me to judge my every feeling, thought, and behavior as morally right or wrong. Now I’m learning that feelings are feelings, thoughts are thoughts, and behaviors are either effective or ineffective.

Christianity taught me to scrutinize myself. Now I’m learning to love myself.

Christianity and its patriarchal system taught me that I was a second class citizen thus setting me up for victimization by those deemed first class.

Christianity taught me to believe in moral absolutes. Now I’m learning the importance of developing and trusting my own set of values.

Christianity taught me intolerance and separatist thinking. Now that I’m freeing myself from these, my mind is opening up to embrace all people.

Christianity taught me to fear hell and to feel guilty. Now it seems my process of recovery from the tyranny of fear and guilt will be life long.

Christianity taught me that good things come only to those who wait. Now I’m learning that I deserve good things regardless of waiting.

Christianity taught me that without god I could do nothing, even parent my children effectively. Now I know I parented my children effectively despite an errant belief system, and given the chance to parent again, I would do so without Christianity's problematic influence.

16 comments:

resonate11 said...

Wonderful insights! Way to think, Sharon.

Anonymous said...

You go Sharon! :)

stronger now said...

"...feelings are feelings, thoughts are thoughts, and behaviors are either effective or ineffective"

I'm still learning these lessons. Thanks for posting this I think it's really helpfull to me.

Brock said...

Fantastic! One of the best statements I've ever seen about recovery from Xianity. The only thing I would add is that good things come to those who work for them, but your post shows that yu already know that.

SpaceMonk said...

Thanks Sharon, that was beautiful,
and helpful. :)

MT said...

Sharon - beautifully written.

If you are divorced and want to share your story in a documentary about how the Christian church treats people that leave their spouses, email me at taylormags at yahoo.com with the subject line - Divorce movie.

Best wishes to you - i really did enjoy your post.

Lorena said...

Nicely said, Sharon.

Christianity taught me all that, and it also taught me to form black-or-white opinions about people. So people were either good or evil. Now I am learning that people are who they are, not good or evil, just themselves.

Thank you for your post, Sharon.

SCOUT said...

Sharon,
staight from the heart. thank you for that clear & concise point of view! i also noticed on the "live traffic feed" that you are from w.monroe? me too! e-mail me at SHe9909732@aol.com

jfraysse said...

Hey Sharon: I loved you post - very effective and thoughtful - even poetic in meter. Thanks for sharing. All the best to you and your family!

Evie said...

Sharon -
Nice post, simple but eloquent. You packed a lot of substance into a concise set of statements. I look forward to reading more from you.

Hana E said...

Perfect, thanks for sharing!

Amanda Anderson said...

Just wanted to say that it is no wonder you decided to leave Christ, because the first thing that any follower of Christ should know is that its not about them. It's all about God. Yep, thats right, i said it, its all about the Creator.

You want to live a selfish life, one that is based around you. One that feeds your soul through selfish acts, selfish thoughts, and basically...laziness. You have said it many times.....its all about you. A real follower of Christ seeks the the Kingdom of God before anything else. Thier life becomes all about God, NOT themselves. Therefore, all desires are met because they live a selfless life looking towards God first.

And yes, God says he is a jealous God, a God who planned us for his pleasure, who shaped us to serve him, and molded us to go out and fulfill his mission. So its quite a shame that you want to spend life focused on you, and only you, for i know for a fact you will never be satisfied being focused on yourself. What makes you so darn worthy of your egotistical love anyways?

And that is the beauty of Christianity. We arent worthy, but Jesus was crucified to stand in our place on that cross. Because HE IS worthy. We are not. Dont worry, there is still hope for you...Because he died for us ALL. not just me, but you too. And He definitely has forgotten about you.

Shame on you for trying to live a selfish and conceited life. you can try all you want, but i guarantee you you will never be satisfied.

Good luck!

In Christ,
Amanda

Anonymous said...

>>Just wanted to say that it is no wonder you decided to leave Christ, because the first thing that any follower of Christ should know is that its not about them. It's all about God. Yep, thats right, i said it, its all about the Creator.

Oh, blah blah blahh... Yeesh. Amanda, I personally walked away from your silly christian religion because it simply MAKES NO SENSE. None, whatsoever. And neither does this fictional jesus charactor you so adore. Silly girl. Did you even bother to read any of the testimonials on this site? Did you?? Perhaps you should before posting such blatant ignorance in the future, okay?

>>You want to live a selfish life, one that is based around you. One that feeds your soul through selfish acts, selfish thoughts, and basically...laziness.

Hey, Amanda? You know absolutely nothing - NOTHING - about me, nor anyone else who might frequent this forum, so why not shut your pie-hole, ok?? How dare you come here and make asinine assertions about people whom you've never met. What the hell is wrong with you? Would you approach strangers in a public place this way?? Probably not, huh? Oh, how safe it must be for you behind your ISP..

>>You have said it many times.....its all about you.

Out of curiosity, where exactly has anyone said this? ...or are you just saying garbage because your having a hissy-fit?? How old are you?

>>A real follower of Christ seeks the the Kingdom of God before anything else. Thier life becomes all about God, NOT themselves. Therefore, all desires are met because they live a selfless life looking towards God first.

Yeah, sure, Amanda. We're supposed to just blindly accept that your interpretation of christianity is the most 'correct' one of all thirty-three thousand or so current flavors of christianity that exist today. Proof please, Amanda, that any of what you say is even remotely credible. Thanks.

>>And yes, God says he is a jealous God,..

Geez. There goes Amanda, attributing characteristics to a god she cannot even prove exists... Yada yada.

>>..a God who planned us for his pleasure, who shaped us to serve him, and molded us to go out and fulfill his mission.

Humanity is Yahweh's sex toy? Ech!

>>So its quite a shame that you want to spend life focused on you, and only you, for i know for a fact you will never be satisfied being focused on yourself. What makes you so darn worthy of your egotistical love anyways?

Yeah. Such a shame.. Then there's Amanda, who just blindly, uncritically, and stupidly accepts whatever garbage is preached at her, desperately trying to please her angry, vicious, jealous god, hoping that in the end she will be spared a decent into an eternal house of horrors.. Yup. Such a shame that others don't share the same twisted delusions that Amanda has running rampant in her head...


>>And that is the beauty of Christianity. We arent worthy,

That's your (rather ridiculous) opinion, Amanda.. Holy crap, I'd hate to have your outlook on humanity. How sad for you. No beauty there. Sorry.

>>..but Jesus was crucified to stand in our place on that cross.
Because HE IS worthy. We are not. Dont worry, there is still hope for you...Because he died for us ALL. not just me, but you too. And He definitely has forgotten about you.

More baseless assertions based on.. ..well,.. ..nothing at all! But then, how else would you be able to justify wearing an instrument of capital punishment around you neck?

>>Shame on you for trying to live a selfish and conceited life. you can try all you want, but i guarantee you you will never be satisfied.
Good luck!

Amanda, you can just go ahead and take that nice bible of yours, and all of your petty nonsensical christian rhetoric, and perhaps (if there's still room) everything else in your myopic life that might be partly to blame for turning you into the arrogant, snobbish, judgemental piece of shit you appear, and shove it all up your fundament.

Oh, and you can have back some of that 'good luck' of yours if it aids insertion, k? Cheers, -Wes.hjdz

Anonymous said...

"What makes you so darn worthy of your egotistical love anyways?"

What makes you so darn worthy of consideration :-) -Wes.

.:webmaster:. said...

Amanda in Christ!

All Christians are selfish. If it wasn't for the carrot of eternal life and the stick of everlasting damnation, I doubt that more than a handful of Christians would remain Christian.

No one becomes Christian for God's sake. People become Christian because they feel GUILTY, or AFRAID, or IN TROUBLE, or... name your emotive state. People convert to Christianity for selfish motivations, to assuage some bad feeling or to fulfill some perceived need -- and live forever and avoid hell.

All Christians are selfish.

Anonymous said...

Well written, Sharon. I am glad that you are finding that some religious rules need to be questioned and not followed. Being ruled in the wrong way, for the wrong reasons can be destructive. You are an intelligent woman to have broken free from being ruled in a way that hurt you. And intelligence is impowering!

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