Sincerity

Sent in by Embracing Ambivalence

Sincerity is among the most beautiful things to grace this earth. It is the result of a free flowing desire that doesn't get manipulated or distorted by the mind, but rather is blessed by it to go forth into the world as is. Sincerity has this precious way of striking you're affections and breaking down you're guard to protect some false image you wish to preserve. Sincerity of another sets you free to be yourself. It sets you free to be vulnerable, and stupid, and ugly. Its rips down the damns that prevent you from expressing yourself. Sincerity is infectious, it begets sincerity. A sincere life, is the fullest life.

I read this today:
"The world needs a missionary to denounce its conventions. Why should each new soul that is launched out of God into Nature be wrecked at the beginning of the voyage by following the charts of its mates instead the compass, the stars, and the continents?"
—Ralph Waldo Emerson

For so long i have been clinging onto the ideas of other men...using their words and their arguments to create in me some sort of personal identity, something that i was never able to give myself. Society certainly hasn't helped...they have thrown at me ideas and books and rules and morals and structures and norms and media...

Some preacher once sermonized about the Bible as an acronym for "B-asic I-nstructions B-efore L-eaving E-arth" I was younger, probably a freshman in highschool. I believed him too. I thought, "great, the meaning of life and how to live it in about a thousand pages." But over time following the charts mapped out by men thousands of years ago didn't seem to be giving me the same experience it apparently brought many of them...one of joy, peace, love, freedom, and courage. To pursure such precepts without the experience only lead to insincerity. For the writers of the Bible, it was the other way around. They experienced and then wrote about it. Whereas I, read about it, and tried to follow, without any experience of my own. Such a life only served to create in me a dualism of two selves that eventually became so strongly opposed to one another that one of them had to break down.

A professor once told me "we read to know we are not alone." Well i came across this words rather unexpectedly. Carl Jung once wrote: "Modern man has heard enough about guilt and sin. He is sorely enough beset by his own bad conscience, and wants rather to learn how he is to reconcile himself with his own nature...he is not eager to know in what way he can imitate Christ, but in what way he can live his own individual life, however meager and uninteresting it may be....He wants to break with tradition so that he can experiment with his life and determine what value and meaning things have in themselves, apart from traditional presuppositions...and though this desire opens bar and bolt to the most dangerous possibilities, we cannot help seeing it as a courageous enterprise and giving it some measure of sympathy. It is no reckless adventure, but an effort inspired by deep spiritual distress to bring meaning once more into life on the basis of fresh and unprejudiced experience."

I met a girl who had no religious faith, no alcoholic father, nothing that was likely to have created an aversion to the more impermanent pleasures of this world. But despite this, she didn't drink. I wondered why. I didn't drink because i would go to hell if i did. I was told that it was a grave error of the higher life and that it would only lead to greater misery. I internalized these ideas about drinking and turned it into an impossibility, though another part of me, a real part of me, still wanted to drink. I was fascinated with this girl because her choice not to drink was a sincere one. She didn't drink because she didn't want to, not because she couldn't. I was neurotic about it. She was not.

I have begun a new journey. A scary one that is unclear and unbounded by doctrines and creeds. I have begun a journey in search of what I like. What is interesting to me? what brings me happiness? what things make me feel alive? Its a risky one, and likely a painful one. But it will be my life. Not someone elses. Now i will follow the stars and map out my own chart for this little journy of mine, "no matter how uninteresting it just might be."

But then again Nietzsche did say, "In heaven, all the interesting people are missing."

Acts 9:18 "And immediately there fell from his eyes something like scales, and he regained his sight"
one day the dreamer died within me.
to be free from all my sin
the perfect lover i can not be
when patience grows so thin

true life, is all thats left,
without the pressures that never let me rest
jesus tries to pull me back
but I have never felt so blessed

i too was on a road
to be unified with thee
and i cried out in hopes to know you
but you never heard my plea

no not any of you three
the spirit gave no peace
the son no setting free
and father of that glory
i simply could not see

the scales did fall
just like our paul
though what we saw
his was the flaw

and now my strife is gone
my guilt has surely passed
but still i can't believe
that yahweh didn't last

10 comments:

freedy said...

I was a very sincere christian and it was beautiful to me.To others I was just an irritating jerk.

Slowly,but surely the lack of sincerity in fellow fundies opened my eyes to my glassy-eyed and blind obedience. My sincerity soon turned to depression,...I'd been deceived!

I have a new found sincerity that I'm able to express here on EX.C.. I'm grateful for that this thanksgiving.

Heaven---Who's actually good enough to deserve eternal bliss?
No christian I've ever met!
(even with the blood of christ)
Hell---Who's going there?
Most people who do horrible things are mentally ill, and definately don't deserve to be tortured forever and ever and ever!
(no more than a 1,000 years)lol
** peace to you E.A.

Anonymous said...

But then again Nietzsche did say, "In heaven, all the interesting people are missing." Nietzsche evidently didn't know or understand that no human is in or ascended into the heavens at all, execpt Him that came down from heaven. which is non-other than Jesus the Christ "(Messiah)" of the Deity, and He is a very interesting person to say the least. None are missing that are supposed to be there at present.
and so -it-goes!
celestials1938@msn.com

Anonymous said...

freedy said...and Sumner commented back,

I was a very sincere christian and it was beautiful to me.To others I was just an irritating jerk.

Slowly,but surely the lack of sincerity in fellow fundies opened my eyes to my glassy-eyed and blind obedience. My sincerity soon turned to depression,...I'd been deceived!
If you follow a person you will in all probability be deceieved, and upset.

I have a new found sincerity that I'm able to express here on EX.C.. I'm grateful for that this thanksgiving.

Heaven---Who's actually good enough to deserve eternal bliss?
No christian I've ever met! "You my friend are exactly right"
(even with the blood of christ)
Hell---Who's going there?

"Friend Hell there is no such place that is just a figment of some imaginative degenerate brain.

Most people who do horrible things are mentally ill, Demon possessed and definately don't deserve to be tortured forever and ever and ever!

Ever and ever is a stuppid quote If it is already foreve why add another ever whats the point other that stupidity.

Right again they will not, they will be saved as the rest of humanity. We rely on the living God who is the saviour of all mankind period...(1.Tim.4:10) (Eph. 1:11). God is operating all in accord with the counsel of His will not wish...
celestials1938@msn.com
(no more than a 1,000 years)lol
** peace to you E.A.

Anonymous said...

"All is out of God, "All is thru God, and "All is for God. Romans.11:36 Christ died for all, and He will have all, none will be lost, God does not loose things or His creation period. God, is not a man, or woman He is spirit, and we live and move, and have our being in Him. Spirit, wind, air, breath. We may not see it, but, we know its there or we would not be...

celestials1938@msn.com

imaginary sky daddy said...

I was adopted and I wasn't told anything about my biological father until I was age 16. My parents told me he was an alcoholic and that it wouldn't be a wise idea for me to drink because it can be hereditary, and I took that into account and I haven't done it. But that's not the only reason, I also didn't do it for the fear of going to hell also. But now since I know the buybull is just a bunch of nonsense, that doesn't mean that I want to start drinking, because I still have the alcoholism factor hanging over my head. You understand what I'm saying. There are other factors to take in consideration, and as we know that applies to every aspect of our lives. I started to deconvert three years ago. And as with every other exchristian testimony mentioning that by reading the parts of the bible that the general populus of christians don't, that's also what caused me to open up my eyes. Good luck in your continued journey without jebus, EA.

Warnepiece said...

Celestial1938,

As a Fundamentalist troll, you seem to think that if you spout bible verses, your evangelizing will win brownie points with god/jesus.

How about considering this:

“Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds,
The Beneficent, the Merciful,
Master of the Day of Judgment
Thee alone we worship; thee alone we ask for help.
Show us the straight path,
The path of those whom Thou has favored; Not the path of those who earn Thine anger nor those who go astray.”
Quran – The Opening 1:2-7

Should we consider that quote from the quran any more believable than your quote from Romans in the bible? Why/Why not?

How does quoting out of a book give evidence that it is the truth?

You ended with “We may not see it, but, we know its there or we would not be…”

What you mean is “Celestial1938 believes they may not see it, but Celestial1938 believes they know it is there, otherwise Celestial1939 would not be…”

If you believe it, it MUST be true?

Nvrgoingbk said...

Sincerity is NOT the answer either. There are many sincere men and women of faith around the world that subscribe to different holy texts. Who is right? If sincerity was the measure of truth, I'd be sincerely CONFUSED!! One can be sincerely WRONG.

I was once a sincere Christian. What a waste of time that was! I am not a "sincere" Athiest now, however, because I am not so sure that I buy into THAT train of thought either. What I DO know, is that NONE of us know, and that it's time we all fucking admit it, and stop looking to the sky for answers but rather into eachother's eyes.

We may very well be all that we have on this "bouncing ball" (Five for Fighting's song "Riddle"). We have no proof otherwise, and until we do, we better stop praying and roll up our sleeves and get our hands dirty with solving some of the world's problems, because the truth is, that what religious people spend most of their time on is NOT aid to other countries, good will toward man, etc.. NO, what the religious spend the most time on is nurturing their belief through WITNESSING, church attendance, Bible, Koran, Torah reading, church, Mosque, or temple activities, praying, fasting, singing gospel or religious hymns, and "raising their children up" to know the Lord". How is ANY of this productive to the rest of the world? All of these pasttimes serve merely to strengthen THEIR faith, and to give THEM the warm fuzzies every Sunday (Saturday if you're Jew, Messianic, or Seventh Day Adventist).

What the religious care the most about is influencing others to believe the way they do. Missionaries go out into the world to "make believers of all men". The physical relief they offer through food or supplies is merely an afterthought.

Christians think that putting a magnetized fish on their car, hanging a cross from their rear view mirror, turning up JOY FM on their car stereos, or a public display of dinner prayer at the Golden Corral after church will be all the fruit they need to impress the world with their peity. NO! NO! NO!

Muslims think that praying five times a day in the direction of Mecca, blowing themselves up for Allah, or flying planes into buildings as a martyr for the faith, will be enough to show the world their devotion. NO! NO! NO!

I've seen what religious sincerity has to offer. I don't want any more of their religious devotion. Why aren't the Christians and Muslims in the labs discovering cures for our diseases? Why aren't Muslims on the forefront of bringing an end to world hunger? Why aren't Christians holding their perverted leaders accountable? If the faith of the religious is the answer the world needs, why are most of us so fucking miserable? I'll tell you why...

Because, the religious are too damned busy worrying about the afterlife instead of the only one they may ever have.

If little Emily is born with no brain, her Christian parents ask, "Why, God", but if it's someone else's kid, than it must be due to some hidden sin on the part of her parents, or God is going to teach them a profound lesson through their brain dead daughter, or it might just be, because he will use the faith of her parents as a witnessing tool to show the world what a real Christian couple looks like when they don't give up on Him even though their daughter is essentially DEAD! THey will one day come to thank Him for his wisdom. WTF!!

Meanwhile, in a lab, not so far away, those dirty birdie heathen Athiest scientsts are trying to come up with cures for humanities ailments, and the religious flock to the pharmacutical counters every cold season just like the rest of us, because while their God has been busy taking count of all those who don't believe in him, some scientists figured out that while they might not be able to cure the common cold, at least they could alleviate some of the symptoms, thereby making cold season a little more tolerable.

I've had enough of the sincerity of the religious. What I want to see are people who do the right thing "just because" and refrain from the wrong thing "just because". I'm sick to DEATH with the pious who merely tolerate he rest of the planet and only place money in the offering plate out of guilt. I am sick and tired of convicts who profess Christ, but continue to live a life of crime once they are released. Obviously, Christ isn't reason enough for most Christians to stop sinning. And I'm not talking about little "oops" sins. I'm talking about some WHOPPERS! Obviously Christ is NOT working for these people. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results right?

So how about this, Christians: How about being nice, just because it makes the world a better place? How about not touching little kids, because it's FUCKED UP!! How about not screwing your neighbor's wife, because you wouldn't want YOUR neighbor hot rodding YOUR wife? STOP praying to your God to make you a better person, and utilize all of that spiritual energy to actually make YOURSELF a better person! Why is it so damned hard for you to stop looking at kiddie porn on the Internet if "Jesus is the reason"? If Jesus sets free the captives, than they why the hell are so many of you still perverts, alcoholics, sluts, mean bastards, swindlers, cheats, liars, and criminals? How about just STOPPING THE MADNESS without fear of hell or reward of Heaven? Your sincerity has failed to convince the rest of the world that your God is the answer. Perhaps, if you actually began living lives that were signifcantly holier than the rest of us we might be inclined to hear you out, however, I doubt it, since there would still be that whole uncomfortable issue of your motive, but at least you could make a concerted effort to live the way you claim a Christian is supposed to. Just a thought.

freedy said...

Anoy#1938,.."forever and ever and ever was meant to be a stupid quote,you idiot!This is just what your neighborhood preacher teaches.

Go troll somewhere else.
*Were you drunk or high? Nobody here needs a lecture on the non-existence of hell.

Sober up before commenting here,...your exposing yourself!
Fundy universalist!!!!!!!!!

C.W. said...

I love the way Bible quoting weak minded people like Celestials1938 come on here and quote their scripture. He can't seem to realize that none of us care about what his 2,000 year old book of fairy tales has to say.

See that's the problem with these narrow minded fools. They don't know how to speak for themselves and the only way they know how to defend their beliefs is with some stupid book. Unlike them, I know how to defend myself, and that's with reality thinking which means having a open mind and having scientific proof instead of some imaginary friend.

The Bible doesn't mean a damn thing to us so stop quoting your stupid scripture. You are waisting your time, and you will convert none of us. Hell, I'll just start quoting Mother Goose, because that's what your bible is. A stupid book full of fairy tales and lies about a false god who does not exist.

I would like to recommend a movie to Celestials1938. Go out and rent the Matrix. It will help you open your mind instead of some 2,000 year old book.

The bible is nothing but man's opinion of what he thinks God is and what God is supposed to be. I would also like to say that the apostle Paul who wrote part of the New Testament, was one of the biggest losers on the face of the earth, who was bitter towards women, because he was probably some dork who could never get dates.

C.W. said...

I love the way Bible quoting weak minded people like Celestials1938 come on here and quote their scripture. He can't seem to realize that none of us care about what his 2,000 year old book of fairy tales has to say.

See that's the problem with these narrow minded fools. They don't know how to speak for themselves and the only way they know how to defend their beliefs is with some stupid book. Unlike them, I know how to defend myself, and that's with reality thinking which means having a open mind and having scientific proof instead of some imaginary friend.

The Bible doesn't mean a damn thing to us so stop quoting your stupid scripture. You are waisting your time, and you will convert none of us. Hell, I'll just start quoting Mother Goose, because that's what your bible is. A stupid book full of fairy tales and lies about a false god who does not exist.

I would like to recommend a movie to Celestials1938. Go out and rent the Matrix. It will help you open your mind instead of some 2,000 year old book.

The bible is nothing but man's opinion of what he thinks God is and what God is supposed to be. I would also like to say that the apostle Paul who wrote part of the New Testament, was one of the biggest losers on the face of the earth, who was bitter towards women, because he was probably some dork who could never get dates.

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