sent in by John Donovan
I was born into Christianity and its teachings. On my Mothers side they are very strict Pentecostals. My grandfather was an Apostolic Pentecostal minister—very strict. I was raised up in that kind of environment.
When I was 23, I was on the job and I was working with a Pentecostal person that was very devoted to that faith. He started telling me about Hell—that it was a deep dark pit and a person would fall for ever through flames, with other damned people trying to grab on to you. To be honest, that scared me. I started imagining myself falling through these flames. Well, being as young as I was, and ignorant of Christianity, I fell for it—Hook, Line and Sinker!
I started going to a Baptist church, soon went to a Pentecostal church, and became a minister. I preached several years, was licensed, and went to the fellowship meetings. I was the full-fledged thing.
I started disagreeing with the strictness of Pentecostal doctrine then and moved on to a non-denominational church. At that time I started getting interested in messianic Judaism, and stayed with that several years.
As I was surfing one day on the Internet, I came across a Jewish site that taught the errors of Christianity. Soon after that my life in Yeshua (Jesus) was turned upside down. I found out that Jesus was just another fabrication in a long list of fabrications. I did not want to believe it; I was flabbergasted. Everything I was taught and believed in was gone. After several months, I went on. I still had God and right and wrong. I went into pure Judaism, no Jesus.
But questions still nagged me: "If their is no Jesus, what about God?" The first book I read on the subject was "Losing Faith In Faith," by Dan Barker. I began to see that 16 of my years were wasted being a faithful Christian and believer in God. I didn't want to accept it, but the evidence was there. I wanted to believe and went through a back-and-forth battle with religion. It wasn't an overnight change. I would say it took almost two years for me to say I was an atheist.
I am so much happier now. Religion is frustrating and confusing. Who's right and who's wrong arguments just get old.
Was: Baptist,Pentecostal,Messianic Judaism,Orthodox Judaism
Converted: To be "saved",Fear
De-converted: To keep my sanity
Email: mind2hunt39 at yahoo dot com