sent in by Cad
Jesus didn't die for my sins; I didn't give him permission.
I attended three church services a week for over 20 years, and have read the Bible at least ten times, with about a quarter of it memorized. I told myself I had experienced a relationship with Jesus, but really it was a relationship with my ego.
It all became suspect when I realized the God I worshipped was worse than Hitler. I couldn't imagine an all-powerful loving God allowing a Hell for billions of people. How many Christians can ponder torturing a total stranger for days, much less eternity?
Then I suspected God couldn't give a rat's ass as to whether he was worshipped or not. I looked around and realized that worship was really a sexual outlet for my repressed friends. If you look at people while they worship, their faces are terribly erotic, mixed with a yearning quality that borders on orgasmic.
Finally, I realized that anthropomorphising God required infinite hubris. The Christian apologist Paul Tillich once said that argue that God exists is to deny Him. Real spiritual belief, as I understand it, is counterintuitively natural--an oxymoron on par with quantum physics. Do I believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross and rose again? You bet--as a metaphor only. His story is a great symbol of how the ego must be sacrificed in order for true awareness to emerge.
Now, I no longer fear Hell. I feel the glory of existence flowing through my heart, embracing everyone I see with love. Just like Huck Finn, Billy Budd, Jesus Christ, and hundreds of other literary characters, in order to get to heaven, I had to be willing to go to hell. The price is worth it.
Was: Evangelical, Charismatic, Baptist, Pentecostal, Non-Denominational
Convterted because: Fear
De-converted because: No fear
email: caddycomp at gmail dot com
Online Reading List
- An Outline of Intellectual Rubbish by Bertrand Russell (1943)
- Bible Teaching and Religious Practice by Mark Twain
- God is Imaginary
- Is there an Artificial God? by Douglas Adams (1998)
- Skeptics Annotated Bible
- The Age of Reason by Thomas Paine (1795)
- Which Way? by Robert Ingersoll (1884).
- Why I Am Not A Christian by Bertrand Russell (1927)