Send the Perverts to Hell...but don't go with 'em!!!
sent in by Deborah
Religion sucks... All "my life" (it's never been my fuckin' life) I've been told what a heathen I am. Daddy told me Charles Mansons' followers were going to heaven, but I wasn't. I was 15 then. Pretty scary stuff. So I repented & joined his church {Beth Yeshua-NY}. There I was treated to old men sticking their tongues down my throat [in front of their wives & all God's other children!]. I told Daddy but he said I was lying. My younger brother was seduced by Gaye, a "woman of God" who loved to show us photos of her life before she got "saved." Then there was Michelle. the teen w/the huge tits who regularly spent nights at the pastor's house. Hmmm... I guess I owe Gaye this much: she said I could masterbate; Michelle said God would punish me. At 15 I gave up sex, friends, drinking,...everything I knew! But it wasn't enough for them... Mom (her name is Virginia--it's hard to call a woman who records in a baby book her daughter's "first" abortion as easily as she records first footsteps as a mom. It makes me want to vomit! She still has photos of me as a little girl, exposing myself as I stand w/daddy & my brothers. If the look on my face doesn't ... fuck it. It is what it is. I was pimped out, along with a little girl who spent a summer w/us (foster child). I was sent to my daddy's bedroom and learned the fine art of sucking cock at an early age (yeah, it's gotten me to where I am today-on SSD, trapped in Tucson, and fighting for my life) But ask her today and Virigina will SWEAR!!! that I am a drug addict who made it all up! I've got proof you stupid bitch! AND I AM DRUG-FREE!
... FAST FORWARD to 2006
I'm almost 42. And I know the truth. My "daddy" is no man of God. Sure, he is pastor of a church in Holbrook NY called "Word of Jesus." Oops! Did I say too much? The truth will set you free, right? [Agape Christian Fellowship in Tucson...you're next]
THIS IS MY MESSAGE TO THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN HURT...Don't hate God! Hate the filthy mother fuckers (no pun intended) who have perverted God & twisted the truth. Why should you lose your salvation because of their sins! I have agreed to show my e-mail address -not because I want to- but because there's nobody to talk to (especially in Tucson). If I get 1000 hateful e-mails & 1 hopeful one, it's worth it. I'm just a child of God... and so are you.
Tucson
AZ
USA
Joined: 1st time was approx 15 yrs old
Left: 1st time approx 16 yrs old
Was: catholic, christian, born-again christian
Now: Survivor
Converted because: My father said I was a hell-bound heathen
De-converted because: "Christianity" as WE know it is false - it's a front for sexual perverts
email: ptldeborah at yahoo dot com
Religion sucks... All "my life" (it's never been my fuckin' life) I've been told what a heathen I am. Daddy told me Charles Mansons' followers were going to heaven, but I wasn't. I was 15 then. Pretty scary stuff. So I repented & joined his church {Beth Yeshua-NY}. There I was treated to old men sticking their tongues down my throat [in front of their wives & all God's other children!]. I told Daddy but he said I was lying. My younger brother was seduced by Gaye, a "woman of God" who loved to show us photos of her life before she got "saved." Then there was Michelle. the teen w/the huge tits who regularly spent nights at the pastor's house. Hmmm... I guess I owe Gaye this much: she said I could masterbate; Michelle said God would punish me. At 15 I gave up sex, friends, drinking,...everything I knew! But it wasn't enough for them... Mom (her name is Virginia--it's hard to call a woman who records in a baby book her daughter's "first" abortion as easily as she records first footsteps as a mom. It makes me want to vomit! She still has photos of me as a little girl, exposing myself as I stand w/daddy & my brothers. If the look on my face doesn't ... fuck it. It is what it is. I was pimped out, along with a little girl who spent a summer w/us (foster child). I was sent to my daddy's bedroom and learned the fine art of sucking cock at an early age (yeah, it's gotten me to where I am today-on SSD, trapped in Tucson, and fighting for my life) But ask her today and Virigina will SWEAR!!! that I am a drug addict who made it all up! I've got proof you stupid bitch! AND I AM DRUG-FREE!
... FAST FORWARD to 2006
I'm almost 42. And I know the truth. My "daddy" is no man of God. Sure, he is pastor of a church in Holbrook NY called "Word of Jesus." Oops! Did I say too much? The truth will set you free, right? [Agape Christian Fellowship in Tucson...you're next]
THIS IS MY MESSAGE TO THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN HURT...Don't hate God! Hate the filthy mother fuckers (no pun intended) who have perverted God & twisted the truth. Why should you lose your salvation because of their sins! I have agreed to show my e-mail address -not because I want to- but because there's nobody to talk to (especially in Tucson). If I get 1000 hateful e-mails & 1 hopeful one, it's worth it. I'm just a child of God... and so are you.
Tucson
AZ
USA
Joined: 1st time was approx 15 yrs old
Left: 1st time approx 16 yrs old
Was: catholic, christian, born-again christian
Now: Survivor
Converted because: My father said I was a hell-bound heathen
De-converted because: "Christianity" as WE know it is false - it's a front for sexual perverts
email: ptldeborah at yahoo dot com
Comments
Like you, I actually still believe in God. However, when I was going through my hell period in the 80's I kicked God out of my life. It took me actually turning away from religion and Christiany and God to find my truth!
Hang in there! Breathe freedom.
Deborah I am so sorry for what you have been through, men think that women/girls constantly want sex just like they do, they think that if you do not bend over and give it to them, then you are just withholding yourself just to be a bitch. Proper sex education is still not taught in any form of education and here we are in 2006 and men still live in the dark ages. Men invented religion to get forgiveness from their imaginary god for their sexual abuse of women. Men invented religion just for them, the bible does not include women on an equal stance.
Men wrote the bible, men rule the world, men invented the bible god, the bible was written for men.
Welcome. You've been hurt in the worst way. Not only did they scare you as a little girl with their hateful God shit, they sexually assaulted you - I say it again: Fundamentalism is child abuse!
If I may be so bold to assume some things... You are probably turning your life over to a higher power (through Jesus Christ) because it is difficult to confront all of the horrible things that have happened to you in your life on your own. If you have to and it gives you strength, then do it, by all means.
You said:"THIS IS MY MESSAGE TO THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN HURT...Don't hate God! Hate the filthy mother fuckers (no pun intended) who have perverted God & twisted the truth. Why should you lose your salvation because of their sins!" With time, I hope that you will be able to see that it has always been about men and control. The system we live under is not about saving people's souls, but it is more about keeping the "little" man (and especially women) in their place - under the control of the power elite.
I did not go through the sexual abuse that you went through (as far as my mind will let me be aware of, anyways), but you feel like a kindred spirit to me. The crazy notions of the christian-wrong are hard to overcome on your own - "Daddy told me Charles Mansons' followers were going to heaven, but I wasn't" - what kind of shit is that!?!
It's okay to ask for help. It sounds like you are in a lot of pain. I got help. It was something that I needed to do so that I could finally get on with my life. I am just learning to love myself. Most of the christian experience is about minimalizing yourself and you are taught that your life on earth is not important. It is important! On earth is where you have a body to experience things through your senses - it it the only human experience you will have (unless you are Buddhist and believe in reincarnation)! Life is a precious gift - live it fully! Exchristians is a terrific place to bounce ideas and get support. You will probably find your christian viewpoints "under review".
Be good to yourself, Deborah!
He proceeded to molest these boys.
I also had a best freind who grew up in a christian commune whose memmbers practiced wife swapping,he ended up a helpless aloholic..I would give more details of other horrible things I witnessed over 23 yrs. This would just harm innocent family and friends, some of which don't to this day even know what happened.
I personnally believe chritianity attracts and enables these sick people,and thru love and sweet fellowship, actually places opportunities right in the sex offenders way.
Thank you for your brave and revealing post, I'm sure it help many on this site,peace to you
freedy