thank god for critical thinking... oh wait... never-mind :)

Sent in by Bob

Growing up I went to church every once in a while. I even went to two different Christian schools in between public schools. My Mother was not a big church-goer but she thought it did good for us kids to believe. In my early teens I was surprised to hear her confess to me that she was an atheist.

I was a gullible sort all around in that I believed a lot of other nonsense as well in my youth all the way up to short of a few years ago. I was an avid UFO buff and strong believer in just about anything supernatural in mainstream media. When I was 20, a lot of my friends started getting saved and having bible studies.

We were all musicians, and one in particular was a really good song writer. He wrote a song that was so moving it gave me chills about the torments that Jesus went through.

From hanging out at these bible studies and going to Christian concerts, it wasn't long before I was one of them. I found many contradictions along the way... I, like someone else mentioned in here, laid hands on people in circle jerks of prayer and spoke in tongues. Someone asked someone on here if they were insane because they had spoken in tongues. Honestly you don't have to be insane. You're in a circle of believers and someone says you are getting baptized in the holy spirit and you've heard others speak in tongues, and there's an expectation to live up to. So you start speaking nonsense... then you start doing it faster, and before you know it, you even believe that god is speaking through you.

When you already believe in a mighty being who popped out of nowhere and created everything it isn't hard to believe such things. Anyhow.. as time went on I was "tempted" to the point of going back to doing things the way I wanted. Over time I started becoming very bitter toward god. I went back and forth between believing in a god and not believing. Finally I settled on believing in god and not believing in Christianity. I was content with who I called "the god of Abraham" even though I didn't believe he existed.

I know now that I did still believe in him.

And a few years later I went back to Christianity. This time it was because of fear that I came back. I was afraid for my life at one point and prayed to god and felt comfort so what the heck might as well, huh. I went on again as a Christian.

Me and my fiancé who was also Christian, got married. She was very happy that I rededicated myself, etc. I believed stronger than I had in the past. I never went to church that whole time but maybe once. I believed in worshiping from home and with friends and family. after a couple of years I re-discovered an old passion: Astronomy. I started learning all I could about astronomy and soon found myself moving into new territory called Cosmology. The more I learned about our Universe, the more questions I had.

Eventually everything I believed in as a Christian collapsed under the weight of reality. It happened really slowly actually. and quietly. I didn't speak about it with my wife. I didn't speak about it with much of anyone. Eventually I told my wife that I wasn't sure how I felt about it. At this point I was sure I was not a Christian but I was not sure what to believe about god. Then seemingly out of nowhere my wife was talking about leaving me.

Come to find out she cheated on me. We ended up working things out and staying together. Long story and not really the point of this story. Anyhow I remember walking through a store thinking about my life and all the things that have happened and In an instant it hit me. There is nothing -- nothing at all beyond the physical reality we can sense and measure. Nature is all that is and has ever and will ever be. There is no fate.

Anyhow, I still didn't put make a complete decision until earlier this year when I realized by accident so to speak that I AM AN ATHEIST AND IT'S TIME FOR ME TO STOP PRETENDING I'M NOT.

So I told my wife.

That didn't go to well.

And then my mom passed away.

Hell of a time to be coming to terms with being an atheist. Anyhow, that's my story.

I continue to learn all I can in science and have learned to become a true critical thinker. The hardest part was coming to terms with the likelihood that this life is all there is. Once I finally learned to accept it, It felt like the world opened up for me. I think atheism has done more for me than any religion could ever hope to. I no longer have to look for the answer or feel conflicted by contradictions.

How old were you when you became a Christian? was raised as an Xtian and then became a Christian at age 20, around 22 I became an agnostic, and then went back to Christianity at 24
How old were you when you ceased being a Christian? 26
What churches or organizations or labels have applied to you? Baptist, Pentecostal, etc.
What labels, if any, would you apply to yourself now? Atheist, Critical thinker, Human
Why did you become a Christian? grew up believing in the bible and felt moved to really show it.
Why did you de-convert? Critical thinking

Comments

Anonymous said…
"I continue to learn all I can in science and have learned to become a true critical thinker. The hardest part was coming to terms with the likelihood that this life is all there is. Once I finally learned to accept it, It felt like the world opened up for me. I think atheism has done more for me than any religion could ever hope to. I no longer have to look for the answer or feel conflicted by contradictions."
This is what I've felt since leaving Christianity too.
Anonymous said…
Inever have thought about a future state.I just wanted to know if there were a god .skeptic g
twincats said…
What kind of an atheist raises a child to be a Christian? Real atheists don't hedge their bets, either for themselves or their children. Sorry, but the woman wasn't an atheist. a doubter, maybe, but not an atheist. Do you ever wish you had been raised atheist?

Anyway, welcome to the land of the exes!
Anonymous said…
i am so mad tonight!im sick of this thing called religion ...its destroyed my family....my dad is a contractor...hes a preacher he thinks satan is making his bussiness fail...what a bunch of poop! i really dont know how much more of this christianity i can stand...i want to die!!
infidel666 said…
NEO,(bob)
Welcome to the real world. It's way scarier then the make believe one. Don't you think?
I agree with you, if your senses don't detect it, it's not there. Now that your out of the christian matrix, question everything my friend.
freedy said…
Twincats,....answer,(CHILD-ABUSERS)
Bob said…
To answer your question in reality Twincats my mother had became an atheist later in life And No I do not wish I had been raised an Atheist. I'm glad Christianity is behind me. My mother took me to church, she never said that I had to believe anything. Hence when I said I was raised XTIAN! NOT CHRISTIAN. Why would anyone want to be raised any certain "way"! It makes much more sense to me to come to my own conclusion. Call me silly but I believe it was good parenthood on my mothers part to take me to an organised community event weekly and let me think of it what I wanted. MY MOTHER WAS NOT A CHILD ABUSER! I RATHER RESENT THAT REMARK AND WOULDN'T HAVE POSTED IN THIS COMMUNITY HAD I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SAID. BEING ATHEIST, AGNOSTIC, OR RELIGIOUS SHOULD NOT AFFECT YOUR COMMON SENSE OF DECENCY! MY MOTHER PASSED AWAY 5 MONTHS AGO! I'M STILL DEALING WITH IT. THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT..
bob said…
thanks infidel666 I appreciate the words of encouragement.. I do question everything. And I'm glad for it. If you haven't already read Carl Sagan's "Demon Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark" It is a wonderful masterpiece of critical thinking and even gives some good tips on learning how to think more critically.
Max Kline said…
Greetings Bob, so happy that you were able to overcome the burdens of mythical beliefs in this biblegod, congrats on that. I know it's not easy at first but once you get used to the idea that this is the only life, (I know that can seem frustrating and depressing at first), you will find, as I did, that you strive to do and be the best and moral human being for your fellow human beings and learn to enjoy and cherish the life we do have.

It's not a difficult concept, and I think we freethinkers and secular humanists have a much better handle on morality than any fundy christian. They base their absolute moral standards on a piece of trash that is absolutely morally bankrupt. I often say to christains that they should REALLY read their bibles with an open mind and see exactly what it says...not a pleasant read by any means.

So, Bob, enjoy your newfound freedoms and enjoy life to the fullest. Congrats to you again,

your friendly neighborhood atheist,
Max
Anonymous said…
I came into the faith only a year ago out of fear for my life (interesting to read similar testimonies). I felt so weak, sad and terrified that I became addicted to my new found faith as it was a huge sourse of comfort at that time. However my beautiful and beloved new faith soon turned very ugly and very nasty.
Everytime I opened the bible some horrific scripture would practically yell and scream at me. It continued to get worse and worse. I felt my heart break but pretty soon I became numbed by the whole thing.
What a black book the bible is!!
This god suddely scared the crap out of me and so did jesus.
I decided I didn't want this god, jesus or devil anymore - I wanted ME back again!!
2005 was one of the most exciting years of my life and that's when I was still agnostic/atheist.
How is it that we mortals panic and cry out to some deity everytime we're in a mess?! I mean are we really so weak?!
Slowly but surely I'm working everyday to get my life on track.
As far as religion is concerned - thank's but no thank's. Provided I have my sanity I think I'm quite capable of looking after me
Anonymous said…
Adding to what I just posted above there is nothing wrong with having faith in higher power be it Jesus Christ or God. I obviously had a very negative and painful experience so I'm only speaking for myself.
There is so much hatred, bigotry and division within all religion and I hope that someday it really is all about love

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