An ex pentacostal

sent in by Andy

I'm glad I've found this site because I was raised a christian and I've goten really annoyed because of christianity. Here in the UK a lot of people do beleive in god but they don't read the bible or go to church so they don't really understand why I get so annoyed because of it. My dad has been a pentacostal preacher since before I was born and I was always told to go to church and sunday school (where my dad taught) since I was very young.

Most of the people I knew at church were very nice and they tried their best to teach us the morals in the bible (as well as trying to edit out the rape and intolerance). I started to wonder if the bible is completely true. I kept hearing about dinosaurs living millions of years before humans, the ice age and cave men. They didn't seem to be shown in the bible and I also started to wonder how every race could of originated from adam and eve. I didn't think about it too much but eventually I realised that either the bible was wrong or everything I saw on TV about history was a lie.

I realised I was gay when I was about 11 or 12. At the time all I knew about homophobia was that all of the children at school liked to call people gay as an insult and I know now that it was happening because I went a church of england school which taught that christianity is important so they let it happen and they didn't care. Even before I realised I was gay I didn't think there was anything wrong with it despite what all my friends thought. I just assumed that it was one of those things that children just don't understand but adults would be fine with, like other races because are usually mroe ignorant of other races then adults. Since then I've realised how wrong I was. I didn't care too much about it until someone at my church decided to tell us that gods a homophobe, gays can't be christians and I'm going to burn in hell for something thats beyond my control.

Thankfully I had already lost faith by then but I wondered if god really did hate me. After that happened I only went to church because my parents forced me and eventually they said I didn't have to go anymore. I still beleived in god because I was raised to beleive and I just thought I should rebel and I lived my life thinking that I was angering god and I was happy because I felt resentful because of what I had been told.

I heard about christians arguing about wether or not gays should be accepted in the church and reparative therapy so I wondered if I could ever change. I was told that I was gay because of parental mistakes so I beleived them because I was never really like most boys and I was told that if my parents made me more normal I wouldn't be gay. One day my dad was watching a christian program and a preacher was saying that 2 men can't have a child and call themselves a family because its disgusting and unatural. At that moment I realised that they were all insane and if their is a hell they deserve to go there more then anyone else.

I realised that I only beleived because its what I was always told and christianity was the only religion that was commonly practiced here. After finding out about the similarities between christianity and other religions I no longer beleive in it. I don't agree with christianity because I think people use it to justify their hatred and want to scare everyone into beleving in hell.

City: Nottingham
Country: UK
Became a Christian: 5
Ceased being a Christian: 13
Labels before: Pentacostal
Labels now: Philosophical Taoist, Agnostic
Why I joined: I have a very religious dad
Why I left: I was told that gays can't be christians
Email Address: shinji_kun_nge@yahoo.co.uk

2 comments:

sin1timeone said...

ugh.. im a pentecostal. but i have had many doubts..
im 18.. and im still thinking about everything. i was born into pentecostalism.. and htis really caught my eyes "I realised that I only beleived because its what I was always told..."
firstly im not gay or anything of that sort. but i personally... no offence do not believe that how do i say this.. you can be gay. or that you are?.. but anyways
before you get mad.. i completely feel you in wanting to leave the church and everything because they told u you could not be a christian..

man ppl are sooo close minded. if not i am too open minded.. but i believe in letting ppl be how they are.. and just praying about things..and letting god work in them. not ppl pushing things into you..

either way.. it sort of sucks that u left.. but well sometimes ppl got to be careful in what they say. and well me.... im on the verge of leaving church for completely..

just because im tired of always trying to do right.. and ppl always being hypocrites.. but i guesss i will join them?? whatever.. anywayas.. email me or something..
marymartinex89@yahoo.com

why?O_o said...

hmmm... i just thought to myself,
do u think people a born gay? i've heard soo many theories about it.
jesus said all that beleive in him, to ick up there cross to bear and follow him...
every person is born in sin and goes down their own path towards sin. maybe mine was stealing and someone elses is drug abuse and maybe yours is homosexuality...
everyone has their own cross to bare

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