The rise and fall of delusion

By ridi0t

Watch my life pass before your eyes.


Anonymous said...

I know how you feel, man. Luckily for me, it only lasted 17 years. :(

Anonymous said...

Ridiot, that was a great video you posted about your life (probably one of the best I've seen). You don't say much about your life, but then again you don't have to; the music and pictures you chose for each segment from your childhood to the end of your ministry and marriage capture your mood and feelings eloquently. Also, it took some guts to make this film, too. Really, really good. Ernie

Anonymous said...

welcome to the fold of "reason" you did the right thing i assure you. getting rid of religion is like finding out that you do not have terminal cancer.


Mriana said...

Mine when almost the same way, except I wasn't completely raised in a Christian family. My bio-father was not religious, but my mother's family was- evangelical fundies to be exact.

Long story short, when I moved out of my mother's home (she divorced) I went on a quest for the answers to my questions- which could only be answered via religion and mythology. I studied both religion and mythology only to find there was no historical Jesus, god is a human concept, as well as heaven and hell, and it is all rewritten myth written by humans.

I'm a Humanist now and have been for a few years. After my divorce, I raised my sons single handedly. My older son, who is 18, considers himself a Tao Buddhist and my younger son (16) hasn't found his way yet, but has some sort of god concept. I did not raise either of them by mother's evangelical upbringing, but I did take them to the Episcopal church for a few years until I quit going due to lack of belief.

Anonymous said...

Man.... what a sad/beatiful story.
I think I speak for everyone when I say; you've done the best thing you can do for you and your kids.
As time passes your passion for truth will guide you into your best possible future. The experiences you own will be the tools you'll use to change this f%#&*ed up, god fearing, faith-based world. It's tough today, but, someday your children will understand and thank you.

Anonymous said...

It was not a waste. Atheists know their Bible better than Christians. You can take all that knowledge and use it to promote atheism and fight fundamentalism! Thank you for all your great videos! Reason and science needs you!

Anonymous said...

I was a Christian for years, grew up in the church, and was deeply committed until about 25. I started college at 24 after finishing a tour in the military. It all fell apart for me somewhere between my freshman and sophomore year. I went through a divorce at the same time; losing my faith was considerably more difficult for me psychologically. After college I attended law school, 15 years ago now.

The fact is you haven't lost 33 years of your life. It was still your life. You can't blame Christians who use religion to fill that gaping hole in the center of their psyche any more than you can blame yourself for trying to do the same thing. Just be thankful you can now start taking a look at your life without the delusion of religion. Your like someone who has managed to escape from jail, still at a fairly young age. Be happy and look at life anew. You're born again, for real this time!

Anonymous said...

Even as a christian, I was not able to abandon reality thinking. Anytime I questioned something, christians would get aggravated with me, and would tell me that I had no faith in God, or I had a rebellion problem with God.

I remember during a session with one of the associate pastors from a church that I use to go to, was leading me through a prayer. He told me to acknowledge that Jesus was in the room with us. That is when I stopped and told him, "Jesus is not here in this room, he is in heaven", and has not returned to Earth yet. I remember my associate pastor getting frustrated with me over my comment. I told him I felt no comfort from Jesus or the Holy Spirit. He told me that I could not go on feelings alone, however I could not deny that my feelings were real.

Living the christian life did not solve my problems, nor did it bring meaning to life for me personally. It only caused more emptiness to occur inside of me, and it brought tons of defeat and failures in my life, because I had stopped believing in myself and my own abilities to succeed in the game of life.

I knew that deep down the only thing that would bring hope and meaning in my life would be for me to once again take charge of my life again, and obtain goals in life. Seeking after an invisible man did not provide any happiness for me period.

I was told that until I learned to trust in Jesus and Jesus alone, that I would never go anywhere in life, and I would remain defeated as a christian. Well I lived defeated, because I felt like these christians were right.

When I looked back at my life before I became a christian at the age of 23, I had noticed that I had been more successful with reaching my goals back when I was not worried about what God thinks, and when I was not a slave to christianity.

Congratulations Ridiot. You are still young. Do not look back, only look ahead. Consider your time involved in christianity a learning experience which will enable you to help others escape the same type of christian oppression that people like us once lived in.

Anonymous said...

Man, that hit home. I was hoping the whole time that you'd be way older then me.. but crap man I'm 31! I'm a Texas boy too. Anyway, well done on the video, i enjoyed it. All except for the part where I identified with the wasted life notion.

eel_shepherd said...

Super video, ridi0t. I've seen a lot of your other ones, but somehow this one slipped between the cracks until now.

Don't know what I can say about your final question in the video. Maybe that even the ability to feel big loss is still the ability to feel something big.

Anonymous said...

You are a very talented visual artist. I have watched a few of your slide shows. Keep it up!

Anonymous said...

You're a Brave man, and you didn't lose a damn thing....

Anonymous said...

you should have explained exactly why he lost his faith.

Anonymous said...

Ridiot, thanks for the important video. I was in the racket for 46 years!

My Christian friends who know of (and still talk to me despite) my deconversion have actually helped me to think that my religious life was not completely wasted time. It was part and parcel of what makes me fully human, and the experience has made me grow in knowledge, primarily regarding the discovery of who I actually have become. I found in my religious experience many good things, during a large majority of my youth and adult life. In this time, I enjoyed “easy” answers to profound questions regarding human existence and life’s human drama. For a time, I had assurance of avoidance of the finality of death, feelings to some degree of safety and protection, and guidance in decision making based on what I assumed were an undisputable set of written moral and ethical standards. The sense of belonging to a community of like-minded people was powerful and motivating—especially knowing I had the correct “truth.”

But, as you and others here reveal: truth will lead us into strange places! We only need the resolve to go there. You've done well, my friend!

Anonymous said...

About getting that 33 years back, may I suggest that you look at it from a different perspective? Those who have believed but who have come alive through logic and research have a lot more to offer than those who continue to lead a blind, unhappy life or, to a certain extent, that those who've never believed.

The struggle to escape, along with the ingrained (emotional but irrational) fear that we might possibly be doing the wrong thing, is a dreadful but important climb.

I expect you already have read these books but if you haven't, perhaps do:
The God Delusion
God is Not Great
Misquoting Jesus.

There are loads of others but those three in particular are really great. Professor Dawkins, (TGD) is a highly educated unpretentious writer,despite what some say about him. His arguments are excellent, as are those of Bart (sorry, lost his last name) of Misquoting Jesus. Christopher Hitchens is simply delicious to read for his crunchy, almost dismissive, sarcastic style.

Courage mon brave.

Anonymous said...

Great video that told a great story. Wonderful prodution.

From age 19 to 27 I was a hopeless drunk. Now you talk about fucking wasted years. At the end of that run I asked Christ to come into my life. Well he never showed up, but I did finally come to my senses and stopped drinking and I've been sober for almost 18 years.

Now I can truly say nothing good came out of those years of me being a drunk except for supporting all those who profit from selling alcohol, but you must be able to pull some good out of your years of being a Christian. Did you do some good for your fellow man?

Anonymous said...

Just watched your video. Awesome! You haven't lost anything, man. You have regained sanity and at a young age. I'm 62 and wasted the better part of my life on delusions. However, I am so glad to be living in the real world of reality. I wouldn't trade my life now for anything. Enjoy your newfound freedom and keep doing what you are doing. Cheers, Jim Earl

Anonymous said...

I can really identify with what you're going through. I was raised a Southern Baptist (My dad's a native of Amarillo, by the way. I've been there at least a dozen times.) Being raised with the threat of fire and brimstone, you develop a certain mind set towards the world. But when you break with Christianity, that mind set is destroyed and you have to develop a new one.

For you now, the measure of your life is no longer Jesus, the Bible, righteousness, and your faith. It is now your wife and kids, your job, your friends. Good food, good music, good books.
Enjoy life!

Also, don't be duped by your old Christian beliefs. Love is real, but it's not from God. The love that you had as a Christian was purely human. They only told you it was from God. The love you have in your heart was by your own choice as a human being. There are plenty of people around the world who show love and have fellowship and who have no relationship to Christianity whatsoever. I have been living in China for almost 20 years now, and I can tell you that these people here love their children, family, and friends every bit as much as any Christian family - and all without Jesus. Love is inside of you because you are human, and it has nothing to do with God.
Hang in there. Find a local support group. You'll make it.

Anonymous said...

Pekingjohn Wrote:
"For you now, the measure of your life is no longer Jesus, the Bible, righteousness, and your faith. It is now your wife and kids, your job, your friends. Good food, good music, good books.
Enjoy life!"

Exactly! I couldn't have said it better myself.

That above statement from Pekingjohn is what Xtians need to realize anytime they claim there is no hope outside of Jesus.

Anonymous said...

I was in my early 20s when i took the red pill,... no regrets.

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