An ex-Felon and ex-Christian speaks out
Sent in by Nick Boer
During a four-year stretch of prison time, I "found" Jesus, and began to study the "Word of God" diligently and sincerely. Mine, was not what I would consider simply a "jailhouse conversion". Geographically, this would be so, but spiritually, I knew that my conversion was real. Oh yes, I did find comfort in the ink. The psalms of David brought peace to my soul. The Book of Revelation reminded me that there would be vindication for the faithful of God who worshiped HIM in "spirit and truth".
My dedication to Christ lasted throughout my confinement. I did everything I thought "He" would want me to. I gave up family and friends, I would torment over masturbation, I would pray "unceasingly", attend chapel as often as I could, and even vowed to become one of God's many fine "warriors" by becoming a preacher and spreading the gospel to the heathens!
Some things began to bother me, however. I just couldn't understand what was so "dirty" about masturbation. I didn't understand why my desperate pleas for God to heal me of a sexually transmitted disease I contracted from a rape my own father inflicted on me, went unanswered and seemingly unheard by my "Heavenly Father". What purpose could there have been in NOT healing me? Wouldn't it serve God better to heal me, thereby giving me even more reason to give him the glory? I figured the reason He wasn't healing me was due to some "sin" I was unaware of. If I just gave up something else for "God", He would finally rid me of this embarrassing situation. Nothing worked. I prayed, I fasted, I quit smoking (in prison! You must know how hard that is), I would lament over my "sin" of "masturbation" or other things and torture myself mentally.
There were many other things that bothered me about Christianity and the Bible, but since I believed Jesus to be the answer, I always figured the problem lay in me or others, NOT the Bible or in Christ. I never wanted to go back to prison, and I figured that following the words of this Savior was the only way to keep me from using drugs on the streets. I had no confidence in my own abilities to better myself. Only the help of this Sky Daddy would help me. Now, back then, I was quite serious about my "relationship" with Christ. I was absolutely sure that Jesus was the Way, the Truth, and the Life. I believed Adam and Eve, Noah's Ark, and Jonah and the Whale.
When I got to Work Release and began blending in with society a little more, I started noticing that maybe I had been wrong about some of my strict, fundamentalist ways, but I still didn't leave Christianity. It wasn't until a very informed little birdie who had once been a faithful Christian herself, began to tell me the truth behind my beliefs and the Christian establishment. My faith in this person's rigid search for truth was stronger than my faith in this "God".
I made the decision to leave Christianity myself, but I still wasn't convinced I had made the right decision, until I was released for good, and began to see programs on television and read things that only confirmed what the little birdie had told me. I am now thoroughly convinced that turning my back on Christianity is justifiable ,due to the incredible amount of evidence that leads to that conclusion.
I think back to the "faith-based" programs offered in prison. I think back to all of the so-called "Christians" I knew in prison, the scum preachers and priests that run our churches. I think back to the Department of Corrections, an extension of our government who offers "faith-based" programs, yet has their inmates help them during their state inspections conceal all of the little "extras" they bought with their government budget. I think of all the hypocrisy of our "Christian" government, and it pisses me off that our tax paying dollars go to fund these programs which only reinforces the hypocrisy in our world. Christians are some of the nastiest people I know. Why the "hell" should our money go to the brainwashing of decent people that turns them into religious drones who now look at me as only "saved" or "damned".
I am a non-violent offender who should have been at the top of the list for the reinstatement of my rights. In my opinion, from what I have observed in prison, people who complete these "faith-based programs" are shot to the top of the list for work release and transfers. I completed work release, had an above average behavioral record, but two days ago, I received a letter in the mail denying my rights back. For every progress report you have in prison, you have to sign a waiver stating that you aren't interested in completing a faith-based program. They really try to push you into these programs. Looking back, I believe, had I volunteered for one or many of them, my chances of having my rights restored would have been greatly increased.
Okay, I know my troubles are small compared to those of others, but it's something that has been on my mind, and it really annoys me that people are treated differently in this country just because of the way they THINK, or the religious affiliation they belong to. I understand that fault lay in me for committing my crimes, but if the government even treats PRISONERS better for believing in the American God, than what are the perks for the rest of the Christians in this country, and what are the setbacks for those of us who have other opinions as to how we got here. What difference does it make, anyway?
I'm proud to say, that my life is a positive and rewarding one now. I have no desire to use drugs again, and I have no desire to ever see the inside of another prison. I have a family and a normal life. I contribute to society and am wiser for my mistakes. I am succeeding without the help of superstition. I am a mystic now. I am still a spiritual man, but I do not believe the answer lay in any strict set of beliefs that our ancestors left us. I am not a fan of religion, because it seeks to confine the minds of men, rather than liberate them, which has always been the reason behind great discoveries and thought. Our county rewarding its citizens for believing in a book that advocates genocide, rape, bigamy, bigotry, incest, and murder, is no different than a mid-eastern one rewarding its citizens for the same.
I have been peeking at your sight for some time now, since I was released and my wife, the "little birdie," turned me on to Ex-Christians.net. I finally decided to post today. Thanks for allowing me to rant.
During a four-year stretch of prison time, I "found" Jesus, and began to study the "Word of God" diligently and sincerely. Mine, was not what I would consider simply a "jailhouse conversion". Geographically, this would be so, but spiritually, I knew that my conversion was real. Oh yes, I did find comfort in the ink. The psalms of David brought peace to my soul. The Book of Revelation reminded me that there would be vindication for the faithful of God who worshiped HIM in "spirit and truth".
My dedication to Christ lasted throughout my confinement. I did everything I thought "He" would want me to. I gave up family and friends, I would torment over masturbation, I would pray "unceasingly", attend chapel as often as I could, and even vowed to become one of God's many fine "warriors" by becoming a preacher and spreading the gospel to the heathens!
Some things began to bother me, however. I just couldn't understand what was so "dirty" about masturbation. I didn't understand why my desperate pleas for God to heal me of a sexually transmitted disease I contracted from a rape my own father inflicted on me, went unanswered and seemingly unheard by my "Heavenly Father". What purpose could there have been in NOT healing me? Wouldn't it serve God better to heal me, thereby giving me even more reason to give him the glory? I figured the reason He wasn't healing me was due to some "sin" I was unaware of. If I just gave up something else for "God", He would finally rid me of this embarrassing situation. Nothing worked. I prayed, I fasted, I quit smoking (in prison! You must know how hard that is), I would lament over my "sin" of "masturbation" or other things and torture myself mentally.
There were many other things that bothered me about Christianity and the Bible, but since I believed Jesus to be the answer, I always figured the problem lay in me or others, NOT the Bible or in Christ. I never wanted to go back to prison, and I figured that following the words of this Savior was the only way to keep me from using drugs on the streets. I had no confidence in my own abilities to better myself. Only the help of this Sky Daddy would help me. Now, back then, I was quite serious about my "relationship" with Christ. I was absolutely sure that Jesus was the Way, the Truth, and the Life. I believed Adam and Eve, Noah's Ark, and Jonah and the Whale.
When I got to Work Release and began blending in with society a little more, I started noticing that maybe I had been wrong about some of my strict, fundamentalist ways, but I still didn't leave Christianity. It wasn't until a very informed little birdie who had once been a faithful Christian herself, began to tell me the truth behind my beliefs and the Christian establishment. My faith in this person's rigid search for truth was stronger than my faith in this "God".
I made the decision to leave Christianity myself, but I still wasn't convinced I had made the right decision, until I was released for good, and began to see programs on television and read things that only confirmed what the little birdie had told me. I am now thoroughly convinced that turning my back on Christianity is justifiable ,due to the incredible amount of evidence that leads to that conclusion.
I think back to the "faith-based" programs offered in prison. I think back to all of the so-called "Christians" I knew in prison, the scum preachers and priests that run our churches. I think back to the Department of Corrections, an extension of our government who offers "faith-based" programs, yet has their inmates help them during their state inspections conceal all of the little "extras" they bought with their government budget. I think of all the hypocrisy of our "Christian" government, and it pisses me off that our tax paying dollars go to fund these programs which only reinforces the hypocrisy in our world. Christians are some of the nastiest people I know. Why the "hell" should our money go to the brainwashing of decent people that turns them into religious drones who now look at me as only "saved" or "damned".
I am a non-violent offender who should have been at the top of the list for the reinstatement of my rights. In my opinion, from what I have observed in prison, people who complete these "faith-based programs" are shot to the top of the list for work release and transfers. I completed work release, had an above average behavioral record, but two days ago, I received a letter in the mail denying my rights back. For every progress report you have in prison, you have to sign a waiver stating that you aren't interested in completing a faith-based program. They really try to push you into these programs. Looking back, I believe, had I volunteered for one or many of them, my chances of having my rights restored would have been greatly increased.
Okay, I know my troubles are small compared to those of others, but it's something that has been on my mind, and it really annoys me that people are treated differently in this country just because of the way they THINK, or the religious affiliation they belong to. I understand that fault lay in me for committing my crimes, but if the government even treats PRISONERS better for believing in the American God, than what are the perks for the rest of the Christians in this country, and what are the setbacks for those of us who have other opinions as to how we got here. What difference does it make, anyway?
I'm proud to say, that my life is a positive and rewarding one now. I have no desire to use drugs again, and I have no desire to ever see the inside of another prison. I have a family and a normal life. I contribute to society and am wiser for my mistakes. I am succeeding without the help of superstition. I am a mystic now. I am still a spiritual man, but I do not believe the answer lay in any strict set of beliefs that our ancestors left us. I am not a fan of religion, because it seeks to confine the minds of men, rather than liberate them, which has always been the reason behind great discoveries and thought. Our county rewarding its citizens for believing in a book that advocates genocide, rape, bigamy, bigotry, incest, and murder, is no different than a mid-eastern one rewarding its citizens for the same.
I have been peeking at your sight for some time now, since I was released and my wife, the "little birdie," turned me on to Ex-Christians.net. I finally decided to post today. Thanks for allowing me to rant.
Comments
It is amusing, but the same rhetoric fits: I have been saved; I have been redeemed; I live a new life; I have been born again. Thank whatever gods may be.
Good luck. And say hi to the little birdie.
They took instant authority vested by the power of God to claim and to destroy anyone opposing their self-claimed Bibilcal authority, If God shall be for us, then who shall be aginst us, was their motto?
Now, after most of the Native American Indians have been destroyed by the white Christian supremacy, we are all paying the price for this unworthy invasion of false religious indoctrination, called Christianity.
go to:
http://www.truthbeknown.com/victims.htm
I’m not trying to be raunchy here, but Nick’s article, “nicked a nerve” with me that really hit home with regard to masturbation.
I honestly don’t know where Bible-Believers get the idea that masturbation is a sin? Where is that written? The only possible place that I have found is Gen 38:7-10, the case of poor Onan who resisted his Dad’s command to have sex with his sister-in-law by “spilling the seed on the ground”. From this text, it is not even clear that he had actually masturbated, but could have simply withdrawn following intercourse. BTW, the defiant Onan was killed by God for disobeying his father. The whole of Genesis Chapter 38 is so sorted I can’t believe even a Fundy would try to use this text to support the Dogma that masturbation is a sin.
You would not believe how many adolescent guys (girls too, maybe?) are absolutely terrorized by this idea. Sexual tension is released by masturbation and can even reduce the chances of improper sexual behaviors, especially in guys. I see it as a way of meeting a need that, if done discreetly, has nothing but benefits. The Bible doesn’t tell you to go to the bathroom when you need to either, but is “holding it” the right thing to do?
Anyway, I hope my comments don’t offend too many decent folks out there.
Again, Welcome back Nick! Sounds like you and the Birdie have a bright future!
Everybody at the table was quiet...probably because they all masturbate. Of course, I also heard later that the same pastor had an affair with another woman (so maybe he didn't have to masturbate). I wasn't brave enough to speak up either.
Sean
Thanks for your testimony, it was very uplifting. I am glad that you do not need the crutch of a belief in god to find the straight and narrow path. :-)
You are an inspiration, good luck in all you do.
Onanite
I would suggest that those read "(Ephesians.1: 1-13)" then think"
God's Christ, is the seeker, not, man.. Christ, was sent, to seek,
and find all of them, not, some of them, But, all of them for all are lost, Christ is the good shepherd who had 99 sheep and one lost, He did not send the other sheep to find the lost one, He left the flock and went himself to find the lost one. He was not satisfied with less that the complete flock. So my friend He will n ot loose one soul, "No not one" He died for thus He will save all, not some, as men would say, and have you us believe....
God, does know what He is doing we do-not! It is not in man to find out the ways of the Deity. (God)
Christ died for all, thus, He will be given all by His God, and Father
who is the owner of all...
Koch
"So my friend He will n ot loose one soul, "No not one" He died for thus He will save all, not some, as men would say, and have you us believe...."
Lorena:
Well, well, well! I have bad news for you my friend, I am proud to report that Jesus already lost my soul. So, the Bible is a lie--yeah.
Nick, I am glad Jesus lost your soul too...it feels great doesn't it?
In my testimony I spoke of how my fiance and I had both been CHristians and how he left me for "God", because he felt that he had made me an idol in his life. After Nick left me, I was free to really delve into the origins of the faith, and independent of Nick, I left the "faith" forever.
WHen Nick came back to me he told me that he would be a preacher and that I was going to be his wife. Well, didn't I have a bubble to burst!
Anyway, I can attest to Nicolas's sincere and devout faith at that time, and I can vouch for his newly found liberation from it. He's advancing through all the stages of "coming out" that the rest of us have had to experience. He's in the anger stage right now, I observe.
Nick,
Well, baby, you know how I feel about the whole situation, and I loved your post (wink, wink).
I can attest to the fact that he was quite the sincere and devout Christian that he claims to have been, and I can vouch for the fact that he is no longer tethered to the lie. He's advancing through all the stages of "coming out" that the rest of us have had to experience. He's in the anger stage right now, as I have observed.
Nick,
You know how I feel about it all, Baby. By the way, very atriculate writing (wink, wink). I loved your post.
Thanks for sharing it with us.
I'm kinda blown away. From wannabe preacher to exchristian. My experience with others who are extremely committed to their religion is they tend to be very closed minded and set in their ways - often unwilling to listen to contradictory information.
Nick, when Nvrgoingbk first brought up the subject, what was your reaction? Was this confirmation of what you were thinking? Did you resist the ideas at first?
Nvrgoingbk, How/when did you approach Nick? Did you see an opening or did you just go for it out of the blue?
Great testimony and best wishes to both of you.
I will second what Dave said above. I would be most fascinated to hear from one or both of you how Nick's de-conversion took place. I can't imagine that is was an easy process. How on Earth did that "little birdie" pull it off? And Nick, how did you find the courage to question your own heartfelt convictions, and ultimately cast them off? Congratulations and best wishes to the both of you, and thanks for sharing your stories. I hope you want to contribute more.
I was asked to come speak at a prison here in Calif after being released some 15 years ago without return to speak to some of the inmates about what i do to stay out of prison. I know some of you think "thats easy to do".. its not.
The state wants and needs inmates and will do all it can to keep you.
anyway, some of the officers that work in the prison system really do CARE about the delema these inmates face and asked me to come speak to them.
I soon realized that this is going to be a problem.. How do i tell them that god is Bullshit, Jesus is a lie, and the state wants to keep you forever?
I spoke to them about the general crap.. i dont use drugs, i stopped hurting people, and im a positive member of society, bla bla blah..
to see the look in there desperate eye, searching for hope, clutching there little bibles for guidance, bowing there heads in prayer thinking that a god hears them..
I am a fucking tool.. i sit here and cry now, thinking how i let them down. i took my 15 years of freedom and gave them nothing.
i so want to tell them that God and that fucking bible is what is confusing them, causing them to stay stupid, inhuman, and incarcerated.. i didnt tell them that when i stopped the insanity of god beleif the my life improved Drastically, that my thinking is now my own, my relationship with myself is growing stronger each and everyday. I now approve of my progress, no longer giving all my power to GOD. The more i nurture and love myself the more i am able to nurture and love others.
NICK:
now that you and i both know the truth. what are we going to do about it? Do we leave the multitude to rot forever in the cages of dogma, do we go on with our lives, saying "i got mine"?
i feel cheep when i think about all those poor men that are vicims of the state, doing time because of the desire to experiment with drugs (im only speaking of drug users in jail, the rest of the population i dont identify with. it takes like minded people to reach like minded people.)
im just wondering if you feel like i do,. Do you have a since of responsibility to the people that you spent so much time with?
when i went to that prison to speak, it was like seeing all the same people again. different faces but still the same energy.
Heartbreaking for sure, to speak to all these desperate people and not beable to tell them, "Hey, the bible doesnt work, pick up a psychology, biology, and in my case, an english language book and learn something that will really help you!"
i feel a calling..same damn feeling i felt as a christian when we called it "doing gods work".
so, its all the same shit, what we call gods work is actually humanitarian do goods, but the good feeling i get from it.. im keeping.. god can kiss my ass!
Here's a few articles: Is Masturbation Wrong? | Conservative Christian Beliefs about Masturbation | Some thoughts on the science of Onanism
If you haven't ever heard these teachings, you haven't been around much. The teachings haven't gone away, yet.
xians always bring this sort of shit up........"oh no no no, the bible doesn't say that; that is just false xianity; that is just man's traditions."
Look here, xian.......we are going to judge your kind by twenty centuries of that hideous monstrosity you call the body of christ, that slimy, reeking spawn of hell, which festered and stank until the reformation, and then, in the fullness of time, shit forth the devil's own abortion. Since the reformation, the sewage has flowed and flowed, and decent men covered their faces.
Look here, xian, and take responsibility for the disease you have loosed upon us; the infantile guilt and fear. We did not start this nonsense that touching ourselves is wrong; you did. Such a notion has come from the corrupt and depraved minds of the xian.
It is not wrong to feel pleasure. It is not wrong to feel pleasure with the woman we love; to acquire wealth and status; to read and question and grow; to become bigger and better; to be strong and free. These are the things your stunted kind have condemned. Take responsibility for it, if you have the manhood, which we doubt.
The powerful place themselves in positions of authority. They are found in the pulpits, in politics, and in law. This can be found all around the world in different religions.
I have seen the lawlessness of the law and the godlessness of the "godly". The most powerful men demand our alliegance to them politically or religiously. They claim that they have the answers and they warn all who dare to oppose. That's the essence of politics and religion. They are made of the same stuff but called by different names.
It's the same in the animal kingdom. Some are weak and some are strong, but few attack eachother. We are one of the races who do. Unfortunate that a race as advanced as ours has yet to figure out that an egotistical existence will eventually cause the demise of our race. It is unfortunate that humanity, as a whole, has yet to figure out that it's about LOVE. It's something that one doesn't need religion as a prerequisite to possess. I have learned more about love since I left Christianty, than I ever knew while a "child of the Most High God". Some people are waking up and getting it, but I wonder which side of our humanity will win out-the egocentrical side or the selfless side. What will evolution show?
To the Anonymous Prison Employee:
What do you suggest I do? How do we go about speaking out or doing anything about it? Where do I begin? Email me at: stretched_2_9@yahoo.com
Thanks to everyone for your comments. I'm glad to be a part of the group.
To everyone who would like the details of Nvrgoingbk and I's complete "comming out" experience, you'll have to read her testimony from July, and put two and two together. No offense, but we've told it and retold it ad nauseum. We'll make sure we post it on another day. As far as how I felt when she told me the truth about the LIE, well, I just believed what she had to say, because it made sense. What she was saying was rational, and echoed some of the same questions I had been having myself during our seperation. Nvrgoingbk is ALWAYS studying, so I trusted her diligence in finding out the truth. I wasn't ready to hear it two months prior, but at the time she told me, I was ready to recieve the information. I wasn't sure I had made the right choice until I started seeing shit on t.v. that confirmed what she had taught me. It just drove it home for me.
To Anonymous ExFelon: I haven't really thought about my "calling" so much. I was released October fifth of this year, so I'm still trying to just make it.
Leviticus 15:16,17,18.Speaks of a mans seminal emission. "By himself" as well as "with a women".
Anonymous said...
I am a Christian, and have been for quite a long time. It doesn't say anywhere in the Bible that Masturbating is wrong. Where'd you get that??
12/31/2006 3:50 PM
Well? I was taught that "gods word" was unfalible and,! It was to be read, and believed from "cover to cover". These chapters state in a nut shell that,! the offender is unclean for a certain period of time.
BEING UNCLEAN REPRSENTED SIN IN "GODS EYES".
NVRGNGBK Does the writing. so all of the credit is hers (thats to the fellow members of this site).SSSSHHHH! K-fave info.
And to the anonymous christian #1 why do you come on this site as anonymous?,and #2 these scriptures would lead one to conceive "masterbation" as a sin would it not? depending on if you've ever had the chance to read them. In my exsperience it always helps to study up on things of such great personal importance.
BUT! as always with christianity!!!!!!
CONFUSION..........
nick....
It was not "drugs" or "crime". It was the simple act of being different.
20 years ago I was still a christian, however nominal.
But I was also a believer in the lies and propaganda that said that good people have nothing to fear from the system.
I was also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.
20 year ago I went to the police to ask for help. I wanted the institution where I had been raped, to be investigated.
Instead the violence and insanity of the legal system was brought down on me.
The legal system wants "confession".
And it uses every torment and depravity available in its quest to get "confession".
The American addition of "faith based programs", just makes the American system that much more insane and irrational
I worked at a newspaper and witnessed the political game involved in the media and the lies of the rich.
I was a Christian for sixteen years so I know all about the corruption there.
The point is that I have witnessed first hand, the wickedness of politicians, law officials, and the religious. I wish to have no part of any of the three.
Religion (Christianity or Islam or else) is hypocrite in “sexual” topic, especially masturbation. Most of religions tell us that masturbation is a sin.
For me, masturbation is not a sin. We have bodies like animal but we have better brain anyway. The key is how our reason / common sense can control our sexual behavior.
In fact, Modern Law (based on common sense, not religion) will prohibit rape, incest, pedophilia, or polygamy but will not prohibit masturbation.
Masturbation is better than promiscuity. Think about sexual transmitted diseases.
In my personal life, when my wife doesn’t have mood to do sexual intercourse with me, she will kindly masturbate mine with her little hands while I caress her breasts. It is great to have sex or masturbation with someone you love. Orgasm is the only heaven in this life on earth.
God Father in the Heaven didn’t want to masturbate with many beautiful angels so He did promiscuity with Maria in “Holy Ghost” disguise. Jesus then was a bastard! Of course this unbelievable story is only a myth. Just like a myth of Zeus who did sex with a mortal woman to create a half man half god Hercules! Jesus is a son of Joseph and Maria, not a bastard, but then Greek and Roman people mixed Hercules myth with Jesus story.
Logically, Jesus married Maria Magdalene (in monogamy lifestyle like Joseph and Maria) but then religion covered it up. In this case, I believe Buddhism’s celibacy for monk and nun influenced Christianity.
Christianity/Bible says it is a sin even if you only imagine having sex with a girl. LOL. I think Jesus never said that but religion did. This is a kind of Buddhism influence too.
For Anonymous12/31/2006 6:35 PM EST who wrote:
Christians are nasty? Wait till you meet Islam.
Yes, you are right. Islam is worse than Christianity. Most of Christians will choose monogamy but most of Moslems will agree polygamy. Naturally, there will be jealousy in polygamy, except the wives had been totally brainwashed by religion (like Islam). In this comparison, I think Christianity is far better than Islam.
Mohammed was hypocrite; he had 9-10 wives (and some concubines) but he prohibited Moslems to have more than 4 wives!
Mohammed did long time monogamy with Khadijah, the “old” woman who gave Mohammed job, wealth, and high social status. After Khadijah dead, Mohammed did sexual affairs everywhere he went! For Mohammed, women were nothing more than sex objects. In fact, Mohammed was very nasty; he did pedophilia, rape, and incest.
1) Mohammed was truly a pedophilia, had sex with Aisha, a 9 years old girl, daughter of Abu Bakar.
2) Mohammed raped Safiyah, a very beautiful Jewish woman, after he killed her husband and her father.
3) Mohammed did some kind of “incest” with his cousin Ummi Hani one night long. But then in the morning Mohammed told people of Mecca that he did not do sex the night before when he slept with Ummi Hani. He covered it up with “Isra Miraj” or going to the “highest heaven” with “riding” a kind of bird with long tail (clitoris? outer lips?) named Bouraq. LOL.
Thanks to Nick and the little birdie for their contributions to this site and our lives.
I have only spent one night in jail and wouldn't wish that even on cretins. I did spend a large part of my life as a believer but since I lost my soul I have never been happier. Of course, I didn't have a soul to begin with, only man made guilt spewing from the church. And as Ryan said to begin this thread, I have been saved and redeemed and now no longer live my life in fear and guilt. Yes, friends, the chains of religion no longer have a hold on this ole boy. Can I get an amen?
Well, since leaving Christianty, I am free from depression, anxiety and all of the insecurities that Christianity caused in the first place.
Whatever works, right?
Mattew 10:22 says "But he who endures to the end will be saved."
Jim Earl: Since I didn't "endure to the end", then I should not expect to be saved. What is contradictory about that? "I once was lost but now I'm found" can have double meanings as well. I consider my time in religion as wasted time. Now I have found a life. Your delusions have no impact on my life. Sorry bout that. Cheers, jim earl.