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12/26/09                                                                                       View Comments

No more genocidal gods for me

by MichaelRix

Genocide IIImage by daveblume via Flickr

For me Christ-insanity was like a drug. I was raised in the Southern Baptist tradition, I lost my faith after an incident at the church got me questioning. My youth pastor suggested I read the bible to find my answers. I read Joshua: the genocidal atrocities committed were enough for me to leave the church and become an agnostic. After a time I became a Satanist, but that didn't last long. It became obvious that I was still playing in the same playground just on a different team.

Later in life when I learned I would be a father, I gave Christ-insanity another go, thinking maybe I just didn't really understand what I had read; God wouldn't really promote genocide. Well I became a full blown Jesus Freak; throwing away "evil" things and living the "righteous" life. This, understandably, caused strife with my wife and children. It came to the point of choosing between Jesus or my family. Well I chose my family; no god could come close to the love I have for my family. Having learned this you would think I wouldn't fall into the pit again.

My third, and most certainly last, go with the Christ-box came about when I was at the lowest and weakest point of my life; this brought me to my knees which is, of course, where religion wants you. My conversion was all but complete when I picked up the bane of Christ-insanity, the bible, and began to study it.

Well, in seeking answers I stumbled upon this website and started to compare the Christ-box with the testimonies, thoughts, and revelations discussed here. Needless to say, this got me doubting Christ-insanity all over again.

But what really turned the tide for me was a post on this website by Dr. Marlene ( I forget her last name; sorry Doc) about experiencing the world around you. This brought back a flood of reasoning that I could not ignore and I thank her and this website for that.

You live your whole life in a box because it is all you have ever known. I freed myself from that box just to jump back into that box for the comfort of the known. In the end it is just a box and no amount of religious slight of hand will change the fact that what religion really is: a way to hide in fear from the reality of this world.