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5/24/07                                                                                       View Comments

Then the years of a living hell started

Sent in by Mark R

Hello, I'm and ex Christian of 7 years. I'm only 16, which might seem like a piss poor time to "give up", if you will, because I'm so young. But the physical, emotional, and metal abuse i experienced was enough that i never wanted to have anything to do with some carpenter and his godly father ever again.

My story begins with my 3rd grade year of school. I've just been accepted into a boarding school for orphans and underprivileged children called Milton Hershey School. This school, and other events, would be the first i would hear of Christianity. When i was enrolled, the houseparents(a couple that looked over 10 or so kids) took me to the office. They ask me if i knew anything about Jesus and God. Of course, being only 9 years old, i didn't know what they were talking about, so they gave me what i call the "manipulation". They told me the story about Jesus and how he was such a great guy and all that. I was bored out of my mind and they could tell. That is when they slammed the "fire and brimstone eternal damnation" bullshit in my face. I was scared shitless. I didn't want to suffer for an eternity for crap i did during life. So i was saved and my houseparents and i prayed.

Then the years of a living hell started.

After becoming saved, I started on my path of self perfection. The houseparents twisted my mind around their little finger and told what i should do to please God. So i did it. But it wasn't enough. I liked to draw anime and that, to my houseparents, wast evil in the eyes of God. So they punished me and took my drawings away. I still drew and hid my pictures from them. They started to hate for my defiance to God and to them. That was one of the biggest assaults to my mind in my life and showed me how evil Christians can be.

When i entered Jr. High, i left that student home and entered another. They, on the other hand, were more open to my drawings and other stuff i did. I even told, pridefully, that i was a christian. They treated me well and let me do what i wanted. This put into my mind that i was better than others cause i love God.

This all ended, however, when i got heavily into music. Once my houseparents found my ACDC Back in Black CD, the took it and broke it in two. They told me it would poison my mind and make me turn my back on Christ. I didn't listen, of course, because i wasn't going to let them take my music away because of their beliefs.

That is when it dawned on me, right after my growing case of depression and love of heavy metal.

Christianity was the source of all my pain and torments. All my christian friends were fakes and hypocrites and only loved themselves. That's when, when i entered high school, that i would become my own boss.

Now that i look back, I am a lot happier now that I'm on my own. I don't have to worry about some dude coming down and make the world into hell and take all the good ones to heaven and watch us suffer. I also made this conclusion: Christianity is the biggest con in the world. You will get eternal paradise and happiness, after you die and you have no clue what's going to happen. All Christianity is is a "what's behind door #2" type deal. And that is what made me turn my back on the lie. Now, i do what i feel Ike and don't worry about it later. I have no regrets and I'm now i deep love with my beautiful girlfriend. I have true friends who like me for who i am instead of what i believe.

I do believe I can be blessed without being a Christian.