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5/20/06                                                                                       View Comments

A Christian in doubt

sent in by SomeoneWithProblems

I'm a Christian in lots of Doubt and Confusion.

I believe God for quite a while now, but the churches, the people... are pissing me off everyday.

Whenever I have problems, I talk to the pastor, and the believers there, and they all say the same shit "It's God's Will" "It's a Trial" "Pray about it".....and I'm not talking about just 1 church, but ALL the ones I've been to(11 different churches).

Honestly those responses from them aren't good enough....

And I don't read the bible much honestly(yes, I'm terrible at being a christian), because the other christians happily read it to me anyway.

I don't know....it seems like Brainwashing, and the bible was constructed and put together by a council who VOTED which verses and books will ultimately go in the Bible.

Theres verses like

"don't associate with non-believers(2nd cor 6:14-18)".

Theres "Humbling(matthew something : something)"

"turn the other cheek(forgot, too lazy to look at my bible)" and those are one of the things that confuses me about christianity

"don't associate with nonbelievers"

That Says to me: "close your mind to the people with different views and beliefs, and only listen to Christ believers"

"Humbling, and Turn the other cheek"

what? so if a pastor was tells me shit, I should humble myself and listen, learn, and not reply? and be like him?

I'm not gonna say all churches are like that, but the ones I've been to, are "Humble yourself, you don't know better, so listen to WHAT I HAVE TO SAY!"

those verses together to me, look like this:

Being Humble + Christians ideals - Anything outside of christian ideas = brainwashing

(it's a bit vague, I know)

The Church tells me I should be a good Christian this, and good Christian that, and at the same time I should come as I am.

Tells me God loves me for who I am, but he or she will like it MORE If I'm this way or that

I see mostly Hypocrites within the Church,

I see Pastors, Deacons buy themselves a Brand new Lexus and/or Benz with the Offerings and says it's from God.....

The People In The Churches are filled with Fearmongers("the End time is coming!"), Arrogant Goody-2-shoes, People who talk like their Shit don't stink, and etc...

They bitch about me Smoking cigarettes and shit, says "it's god's temple, don't ruin it, blah blah blah blah!"

But what about them?

They eat hamburgers, burritos, foods that have LOTS of fat, clogs ateries, and shit.

They eat candy bars and drink lots of coffee which are bad for your health too.

And they talk shit about my habit, how much of a BAD person I am for smoking...

To me! If you Eat lots of food that might risk you of heart failure and/or could give you diabetes, If you drink coffee by the gallons.

Then me smoking cigarettes isn't a problem!!!

I talked about these matters and subjects to other christians and pastors, and they all tell me something different thats not relevant to what I say, they change the subject or get offended and/or don't speak to me...

I'm not saying "I'm the better man"

infact I'm a bad person myself, or in christian terms: "a evil sinner".

But shit I don't try change people or evangelize.

And if I was to become this "good person"

I would never even try to change a person into what I became, because I'm human, I error... ALOT

I think Tracts are ignorant Bullshit to me(Halloween Evil? are you serious!?).

I have LOTS animosity for Fundy Christians, Because of the shit they pull, like they try to ban Marilyn Manson, They burned Harry Potter books, They tried Ban Dungeons & Dragons, Magic: The Gathering Card game, and the other the freedom-hating shit they do. And they say "it's for the GOOD of the people."

You know, Freedom is also GOOD for The People, as long as The People don't PHySiCaLLy harm others.

This "christianity" I believe in:

The Morals, the self-righteousness, The Corruption, etc.. in this religion of "Good", it raises my left eye brow and leaves me a "What The Fuck?" face expression.

The Ex-Christian Bible Quiz Trips me out, but it's true....

The Bible Advocates Slavery and Racism

I know Evolution theory is WAY LOGICAL more than Creationism.

Even with these Subjects...

I still believe in God, I still have faith.

but I don't know...

I'm VERY VERY VERY CONFUSED

And If I say "I'm Confused and Doubtful of my belief"

I KNOW FOR-SURE-100%

The Christian(s) will tell me "The Devil is Tempting you! and The Devil putting those thoughts in your head."

And They'll Rebuke the shit out of me

So no use in asking a christian about this shit

Please comment and Know

I am Open-minded about this