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7/5/04                                                                                       View Comments

From Christian to Pagan to Christian and back to Pagan again

sent in by Cierra

-Christianity-

I was raised a Baptist Christian, and at the age of 9, I was baptised(completely by choice). I was sincerly excited, and I truly did want to pursue a relationship with "Jesus Christ", and I wanted to receive the "Holy Spirit". And so that was my goal. I did eventually "receive the Holy Spirit", ...but a lot more things have happened before, AND after the experience...

I wanted so much to receive the Holy Spirit...but my first attempt failed. I went to church, and prayed in a room with other young beleivers who had wanted to receive the "Holy Spirit" as well. A woman was here in the room with all of us, and told us to pray "Thank you Jesus", over and over and over. It's what I was doing, but nothing happened.

I was dissappointed, and didn't know why I hadn't received the "Holy Spirit", and others in the room HAD. The lady told me to go back to the sanctuary, and I felt horrible. I thought to myself, "maybe I just didn't concentrate on Jesus enough. I'll try harder next time."

-Occult/Witchcraft-

But years later...at least at about the age of 12, at the time, I was living in (Kaiserslautern), Germany (mother was in the military).

And I had always been attracted to the "paranormal", or "New Age", and things like it, and I was at a bookstore, and saw a book titled, "Teen Witch", and I read it, and was SO excited. I read the "note to parents", in the front of the book to my mother, and she didn't care much.

I don't beleive that she was necessarily FOR it, but she really didn't say much. She wasn't a strict Christian anyhow.

But from then on, I was casting spells, and performing rituals, and praying to Goddess, and I did feel(like most Pagans claim) as if the concept of a Goddess AND a God feels more balanced...rather than beleiving in just a God--the CHRISTIAN God, in that matter(and in the Christian God, I DO NOT beleive--or put my faith in, I should say).

But anyhow...I considered myself a Witch. After only about two books. Which is ok, because I was a pretty educated one.

-Back to Christ-

Only MONTHS later, I was watching the Christian/evangelist network, 3ABN, and I was watching a particular show: the 700 Club. I saw a Christian testimony of a girl who was once a witch, and that she had now accepted Christ into her life, and that Witchcraft(in any form), was evil. All of it. No such thing as "white" or "black" magic(k). It was all evil.

And I was also constantly seeing pastors preach about the end of the world--Armageddon(not sure how to spell that word), and how it could be any day now. I was scared for my life! I had bought a book on accepting Jesus, and prayed a prayer as the son of Pat Roberson talked about Jesus.

I was asking for the Holy Spirit, 100% sincerly. And this time, I beleive that I did receive.

I felt so releived, and happy, and I was just thanking Jesus. I burned all two of my witchcraft books, and threw away everything that I had printed from the internet about Witchcraft(and god do I regret all of this now).

And from then on, I was hooked. I was on fire for Jesus. I was always watching 3ABN, and buying books on Christianity, and Jesus, and I was just feeling so protected, and loved, and safe, and happy, and everything was just going great.

-"Backsliding"-

My fire for Jesus had burned out(which of course most Christians warn new christians of...that they are at first on fire, but that they may not feel this way for long).

I wasn't concentrating much on being a Christian, but I had at least three Pagan friends before, that I was telling that I had now become a Christian(which I now regret).

And so we moved from Germany after three years, to LA, where I now currently live(moving once again though very soon--military life's a bitch).

I borrowed a book from our local military library titled, "Why I am not a Christian.". Sorry that I have forgotten who it was written by(like an idiot). But I read it, and realized that "hey, I DON'T have to be a Christian.". Christianity is NOT the only way!"

People can ACTUALLY choose between more than just: Christ, or HELL! My eyes had opened--it was a--a--MIRACLE!

From then on, I studied many different religions at the library, and over the internet. I studied the religion of Islam, Buddhism, Taoism, and I studied even more on Paganism.

I had read SO many testimonies of people who had went from Pagan to Christian, and I had my doubts--I was purposley reading these testimonies, because in the back of my mind, there was still a little voice going, "Paganism is wrong, and evil." But thank god(dess) that voice is now gone.

I have now read, and heard of so many testimonies, that they no longer shake me. Not even a bit. Nothing does, or can anymore. I guess I'm now stubborn. A little Stubborn maybe, but not close minded.

But anyhow...I decided that I wanted to become a Pagan again. This beleif is the beleif that has truly changed my life--for the better, that is...but I am STILL not a religious person. Just spiritual. I am very young, yes--infact, still in my teens--but that doesn't make my testimony any less valid than anyone else's. This is what I've been through at such a young age, and I am no longer ashamed to be a Pagan.

I am a child of the Goddess--not a child of Christ--and it's what I would like to remain. (cheesy ending I know, but I have to close this out somehow).

Goddess bless.

Sex: female
URL: ratskeller.us
City: Fort Polk
State: LA
Country: U.S.A.
Became a Christian: I was around the age of 9
Ceased being a Christian: First time: 12, second: 14
Labels before: Baptist, Pentecostal (not sure how to spell that anyhow)
Labels now: Pagan/Witch
Why I joined: It wasn't some anger decision, or trying to be a smart ass and say that I hate Christians...it was just about maturity, and realizing that I DON'T want to live the Christian lifestyle. Nothing rebellious.
Why I left: Same reason: It wasn't some anger decision, or trying to be a smart ass and say that I hate Christians...it was just about maturity, and realizing that I DON'T want to live the Christian lifestyle. Nothing rebellious.
Email Address: wirezine at yahoo dot com