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2/27/04                                                                                       View Comments

Heresy is only another word for freedom of thought

sent in by Phoenix

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.
-Bertrand Russell

when i was young, my family was not religious. granted, we went to church and i attented a catholic school, but we never really discussed god too much. when i was eight, we moved to another city. a few years later, my mother had pains with her back and was forced to be bedridden. it was at this time she became closer to god. and that's when hell started.

for the next few years, everything was all right. we did have some disagreements on theology, as i was a scientific child and she was now a devout catholic, who took the bible literally. my interest in other religions began to grow.

we moved again, and in ninth grade i became depressed and suicidal. noticing that i didn't seem happy, mom would comment that i wasn't close enough to god. it was at this stage i began seeking the truth.

in 10th grade, i had atheist and wiccan friends, as well as christian friends. i began to notice similarities between religions, and some inconsistencies in the bible. my religion teachers got angry at me for my views. views that differed from theirs and their book. mom began to notice, and banned me from talking to my non-christian friends. i was told that i was possessed and that i was going to hell.

the next few years were fairly uneventful, as i would not voice my opinions. i didn't really believe in catholicism anymore, but i was scared that i might be wrong. then i met judd, my boyfriend, in my sophomore year of college. he is an atheist and against christianity. he forced me think about what i was believing in. he made me look at all the fallicies. only thanks to him did i really began to think for myself. i spent hundreds of hours reading about christianity. he was there for me the entire time i was in my deconversion, as it was quite hard for me to do so. finally i renounced my faith in christianity, and i felt free and more peaceful at last. i was able to live a life of science, facts, love, and not fear and mythology.

i began to argue quite forcibly with my family about religion. it was still being forced on me. eventually, i was seen as the "bad daughter" and immoral. thing is, that's just from what i had said about my views of homosexuality and other moral issues. i still haven't told mom i'm not a christian. frankly, i'm scared of her.

since i lost faith, i have lost my fear of everything and have slowly begun to truly live.


Sex: Female
URL: http://www.phoenixtx.com
State: Minnesota
Country: USA
Became a Christian: born into it
Ceased being a Christian: 19
Labels before: roman catholic
Labels now: heretic
Why I joined: born into the faith
Why I left: began thinking for myself